Forms, meetings, appointments.... arggggh!!! more wine please!!

[Triggles]

And the paperwork is piling up...

SENco is lovely woman, but she gave us a questionnaire yesterday and asked us to complete it and return it today at DS2's IEP review meeting. I knew it was going to be bad when she said "I find these forms are easier to fill out with a glass of wine handy." So I said to DH, "well, you heard her - she practically ordered us to have some wine tonight whilst filling out this questionnaire!"

Oh god, it's evil. It's about his levels of communication, and all the questions require this response:
0 - less than once per week or never
1 - at least once a week, but not every day
2 - 1-2 times per day
3 - 3-4 or more times per day or always

I'm reasonably certain I have spots on my head where I've pulled out my hair tonight in frustration. So many of the questions are just not clearcut answers, and we waffled back and forth. I ended up with a dreadful headache after filling it out. Now I have a headache this morning, although it could be from the wine.

IEP review meeting today, and while I have gone over all his paperwork, I still feel inept. We need to discuss options as far as the extra 1-on-1 in the mornings, as the school is being told as he's not 5 yet, he may not get additional funding for. And then I need to contact the speech and language person at his school (in follow up to their letter) and organise a meeting with them. And he had a paeds appointment at the end of the month. And working towards a statement....

Some days I just feel like I'm wading through murky waters in the dark with no torch and feel so inadequate and stressed. And DS2's school is actually very cooperative and fights hard for what he needs. I can't even begin to imagine the stress and aggravation for those who are really having to fight the system.

Anyone else feel completely overwhelmed ? How do you bring back that equilibrium?

Morning Triggles, yes its like wading through mud sometimes isnt it!?

Ive just finished my Reasons for Appeal for tribunal, then straight onto ds's DLA renewal, then after that preparing for meeting with LA next week. As well as weekly appointments at CAMHS for ds. We also have numerous other medical appointments.

My only suggestion is one step at a time and prioritise. And some weeks will be easier than others.

A bit like claw - i find it goes in waves. You get times when you could do with a secretary/pa and other times when it seems calmer. Make sure you relax in the calmer times to build up your strength (mentally!) for the tsunami style waves.
Did the wine help?

Oooh I hate those forms.. One we had was similar.. But had tiny boxes for more information.. And a section of priority needs... and a diddy box for what will happen if those needs aren't met.. I think I repeated the words aggressive volitile meltdown a lot :o

which as it happens, happened when they weren't met and I walked about with a " I toldyou so" look on my face!

keeping a regular diary/ log really helps out lol.. As does wine!

If the answers aren't clear cut, always put the biggest number and then asterix for an explanation somewhere else.

This is because they often have a system where they add up the numbers and then the support follows that 'regardless' of your clarification.

If the question is invalid, then any answer will be, so imo you may as well put an invalid answer that gets you the most provision

Star - yes, I always opted for the higher number when I wasn't sure. I had 2 pages of separate "explanations" for the various questions - I'm pretty sure they'll read some of them and say "did she even have a CLUE what we were asking?" Nope...sometimes I didn't.

And oh god, yes, the wine helped! (well, until this morning when my head was banging a bit!)

I managed to get through the IEP review. I have a few questions, but I'll post them later, as it's time for the school run. And then MIL is coming over and babysitting while DH & I actually go out for a nice meal!! (She even is paying for the meal as a birthday present for me as my birthday was last week - said we deserved a night out on our own! Love my MIL!!!! )

I am puzzled by something mentioned by the SENco and DS2's teacher. They said "off the record" that we should think about whether or not mainstream schooling is the best approach for DS2 and advised me to ask about that during the multi-agency meeting they've set up for the beginning of next month. Of course, my first reaction was "are you trying to say he's not wanted at this school?" to which they were very adamant that they were only letting me know there are other options, but that if we wanted to keep him at this school, that's fine too.

Honestly, I felt like I was knocked sideways by this. They were saying they were concerned about getting the funding for an additional 1-on-1 for him, but have managed to sort out someone to be with him pretty much all day now. They were going on about how clever he is, but that he is overstimulated in the classroom and might benefit from a smaller class size (his current class size is 25) and a less stimulating environment. Can't say I liked that phrase "less stimulating environment."

They seemed quite cagey about it and stated that they were not allowed to bring it up in the multiagency meeting but that I could and should.

Personally, DH & I do not want to move DS2 at this time. The school has bent over backwards getting assistance for him and helping him and I would be afraid that we might end up in a school where we have to fight for everything or just that simply doesn't work for him. He loves this school and I think at this point he would be very upset at a change of schools (not that we're going to anyway at this point). When I mentioned this, they were very "oh but you want to do what's best for him." Again [hmm}

Any opinions on this? They've been so helpful and cooperative up so far, so I'm not quite sure what to think of this....

Off what record?

FFS. If they think they can't meet your child's needs they should outright say so, and to the Local Authority, not by the back door through the parents to try to get you to disappear or battle on their behalf.

What's wrong with these people?

That's what I thought. Didn't know we had an "on the record" and "off the record." Completely baffled me.