Feeling down

[TheLifeOfRiley]

I know there are people worse off but I need a moment to moan and wallow.
I am tired. I can never see me being able to go back to work. I'm fed up of changing nappies, especially at night. I'm fed up of not getting a proper night's sleep. I'm fed up of repeated conversations day after bloody day. I'm fed up of fussing and flapping and stressing. I'm fed up of my hands shaking.

I'm meant to be on a volunteer course today (I was thinking as I can't feasibly get a paid job I could do some volunteering while ds is at school) but I feel so tired and down! I will drag myself there because I have already missed a couple of sessions of the course due to ds being ill, then me having tonsillitus.

I just want to go to bed and cry.

Bless you - moan away, its better to share it than keep it all in.

:)

Lack of sleep will make anyone down - and then a tiring day on top of it. Is there any way you can catch up on your sleep - can someone else do a night?

Thank you for replying

I have to go out the door in a minute and I just don't want to. I want to give up, I'm too tired.

Ex is meant to have ds two nights a week but ex cut it to one night and then DS realised if it was optional for daddy it must be optional for him too so has point blank refused to stay over since. My mum has him overnight for me sometimes. Some days I catch up on sleep while he's at school.

I can't believe this is my life.

Can you put off the volunteer course til another time? I would be honest with whoever is running it and say you just can't do it, not won't do it, its very different. At least then you could rest or sleep instead of going there. Surely they will have another course coming up? You need sleep more than anything. Once you can get a bit of that, then other things may be less daunting, although it all still sounds like too much. How old is he? Can you speak to social services about getting some help?

Thanks davros, sickofsocalled..., and shadeofviolet.

I went on the course (armed with chocolate and lucozade to keep me awake) and I found it a welcome distraction from my own home life. I do think also that a few hours a week volunteering will help in terms of the fact that I'm feeling quite down right now about having no life of my own. I'm hoping this will give me a little of my identity back and get me out of the house.

I am looking forward to an early night tonight (and hopefully a slightly better night's sleep) and tomorrow I have to stay in all day for a parcel so I will nap on the sofa relax at home.

I'm not sure about SS involvement, a friend has suggested it before but I can't face it.

I never thought my little boy would get to six and still be in nappies and not sleeping through the night, etc. It scares me to think what the future holds for both of us. I'm just tired.