DD1 (4yrs 10 months) has a few foibles that tally with ASD. Anyway, it came to a bit of a head yesterday when I realised how carefully I manage so many areas of her life. She had a dress rehearsal for her ballet show. I had carefully explained how she would have to have her hair done, that the dressing room would be crowded and a bit noisey, that she would have to wear the leotard they gave her - all good. I did not realise, however, that they would be asked to wear their ballet shoes without the socks. DD got all ready but left her socks on. It was pointed out to her several times backstage that the socks would have to go, but she insisted. We then went through into the auditorium and her group was called up to dance. Cue a 'helper' dashing on to the stage to remove the offending socks. Of course DD would not put her ballet shoes on without the socks, and then would not dance in bare feet, and she had a bit of a cry. She held the teacher's hand and watched the children dance the first time and then came to sit with me for the second run through.
I did get an apology from the helper, so that was nice, but now I don't know what to do and I feel bad that I didn't run to my DD's defence and fight her sock battle sooner (so I feel bad).
The easiest option is, of course, to not do the show next weekend, but she has been rehearsing all term and seemed to be looking forward to it. I have found some little tiny virtually invisible socks that she might wear, but they are not the ballet socks. I am able to go backstage with her next weekend again, but am aware that they really don't need a child having a massive tantrum in the wings when there must be about 100 children in this show. Should I phone the teacher? I so don't want to appear like an over-stressy mummy, but I do want to facilitate DD's participation.
Of course the irony is that practically the only time she will wear socks is to ballet.
O what to do? Advice and suggestions please.
TIA