high functioning asd teen swearing at school

[emsylou]

My 13 year old son is in year 8 and has a good statement with support at school. He gets very frustrated at school on occassions and this has recently got him into trouble with one of his peers that he usually gets on well with and we have a reoccuring theme of him swearing at his teaching assistant/teacher when he is asked to do something that he percieves to be unreasonable.

We do not swear at home, although he has sworn on occassions when he has become frustrated at home. He has been excluded for a couple of days once every month or two for swearing at a member of staff at school. Obviously this is completely unacceptable, although there used to be large amounts of violence when he was younger which we dont see at all now so to us this is progress. I take away priviledges, e.g. playstation/treats with friends etc when i have reports from school or there is a temporary exclusion but all this seems to do is make my life and his younger sisters life more difficult and has little impact on his behaviour. I feel out of my depth as to how to deal with today another phone call from school saying that he has been rude to a teaching assistant for a reasonable request of removing his hat while in the classroom!

Do any mumsnetters have any similar problems? Any advice on a different way of tackling this issue before we get to permenant expulsion would be much appreciated.

Pupils with ASD often respond inappropriately when they are placed in situations where they feel anxious or don't know how to react.

Special schools dealing with ASD view all behaviour as a form of communication: you need to examine the context in which the behaviour occurs and examine why it is making your DS anxious. Removing privliges is not always effective for children with ASD as many do not have the same action-consequence mechanism that NT children have, i.e. they don't associate their actions to the punishment.

Generally children with ASD improve their behaviour when there is a greater level of understanding within the school to their needs, appropriate adaptations are made and when the child is taught to understand how their ASD affects them and models of how to respond appropriately. These life skills are often not taught and the level of understanding is often poor in mainstream schools.

What kind of support is your DS currently receiving (School Action, statement, etc?). Does his school offer teaching in emotional and social skills tailored to his ASD needs?