This all sound very familiar.
We did all the clubs and generally had trouble with everything. DD then went through a phase of confidence were she did regular clubs but was too distracting for others. Then we did special needs but her needs weren't really special enough.
Now we do a mixture she does a NAS youth club one day a week, I take her swimming and she does lengths on her own in the pool, she is 10 now and has always been a good swimmer. Then she does Guides on another night, mainstream. She does a club at school another night. This works really well now as we seem to have a good balance.
Now let me tell you all the things we have started. Ballet, piano, tennis, football, swimming, judo, kick boxing, art, athletics, gymnastics, cheer leading, street moves, stagecoach, spanish, french, horse ridding, I could go on. I would say without a doubt most of these have been a failure for various reasons. Some ours and some the teachers.
For some reason, this year, we seem to have the right balance.
What I would say, from past experiences now learnt the hard way, is that it is hard for a 5 year old with concentration and sensory issues to then go and spend time in a club where they have to concentrate again, especially after school.
The best clubs have been the special needs or those symathetic to special needs. By sympathetic I mean a bit more than saying they are happy to have children with Autism, these teachers don't have time to concentrate on one child disrupting the rest of the group as they are often volunteers or trying to run a small business.
Other things that have worked well are private lessons, such as horseridding and swimming.
Another thing that I worked out is that team and ball games are a nightmare. She struggles with the other children and having to fit in with them.
Swimming has worked well as she can do this individually. She could have been on the school swimming team when she was seven but refused, I think down to the pressure and the crowds at galas. Although she has done galas and did very well she did this when she was ten and more self assured.
I also realised that she was becoming very anxious and so was I when I made her join in all these groups. When I stopped doing these clubs we all finally relaxed. Then she actually started to ask to do things and she hasn't dropped out of anything recently. She knows her own mind and can tell us what she wants and doesn't want to do and why.
My dreams of having a top netball playing, actress have been put on hold!! And I'm happy she does some swimming to keep fit and manages to say her one line in the school Christmas production.