Managed to get DS into school at 11am....should i have done things differently?

[genieinabottle]

DS (5, asd) was on the sad cloud yesterday at school for not sitting properly during carpet time, and i 'm not confortable with this system.

He got out of bed in a foul mood this morning and was challenging from the word go.
I did my best to ignore the behaviours and remain calm to try to get him ready.

He saw that it was raining hard and windy and kept asking me if it was raining a little bit?

He then refused to put his uniform a nd kept tantruming, throwing himself about and finally run upstairs to hide under our duvet.

I phoned up the aschool and left a message on their answer phone to explain that DS will be in later when he is calmer.

I left him to calm down under our duvet until 10, after that he seemed better but it still took me 45 minutes to get him dressed and more or less happy about the idea of going to school.
I wrote in his contact book that he had been difficult,etc...

So we set off for the school, got to the reception ,signed in and as i was about to take DS to his classroom, the receptionist steps in and says she will take him in. So i explain that i'd like to see for myself that DS is settled before i leave but no, she insists that she will take him and if there are any problems they will phone me.
She has no f&*%$g idea of how hard it wa to get him into school this morning and she wouldn't even bend the rules a little bit.

So DS went in with her while making loud vocal noises.

I'm peeved off to say the least. School isn't trying to make any adjustments, every request from us is frowned upon.
No doubt they will think oh he seems fine, mum must be the one with issue if she cannot control him.

I wish i had the gut and strengh to have forced him into school at 9am and then they would have seen how he was and dealt with him then.
But just couldn't do this. Wish things were simpler, wish school would open their eyes a little bit.

Morning genie, bet you feel completely worn out now after this morning.

I think you did the right thing, your ds was calmer going to school and you didn't give in completely and let him stay home. Which is very easy to do especially on a horrible day.

Our school have the same policy about not going down with them is you are late, its horrible. For the sake of a minute and knowing they are happy going in it is not very nice.

I really hope your ds has a better day today and you get chance to relax a bit.

Think you do need to talk to them about the naughty cloud thing though, it is really hard for our children to deal with a full day at school but to be told off for something they really can't help is not right.

Totally agree with you letting him calm down before taking him to school. I have had to do this with my DS, even at the advanced age of 15! If you take them in when they are in a strop they just make it difficut for everyone.
Try to trust the school. I expect the secretary was thinking that he would become anxious when you went and that it could escalate again. That is very difficult to deal with in front of the rest of the class and could have resulted in DS having to leave the class again to calm down.
Are children offered the opportunity to have their name moved from the sad cloud to the happy cloud? In the school where I taught this was the norm if they the sat down or did whatever was asked- with much praise etc for doing it.
I wish there was an empathy emoticon!

Thank you both for replies.

It's reassuring to see you would have done the same.
DS has had a few moments before in the mornings about not wanting to go to school, but this is the first time he was very late in and that i've had to keep him home for a chance to calm down first.

Starfish71, you're right, i feel worn out and have one of these dull headache that won't go away. (really looking to going to work in a while now )

IAHC, yes if behaviours improve and children comply with an activity nicely then they can get moved back to 'the sun'.

But i'm still about this system. DS should be encouraged with praise and have a chart for positive behaviours but i don't like the negative side of the chart iyswim.

meant to write really forward to go to work...not!