wonder if you could advise.
Ds1(6.9) was good as gold as school. Pyschologist (private) says can't diagnose ASD becasue doesn't tick enough of the boxes. but where he does, it is severe. e.g. very poor empathy.
But saving grace was that he was good at school atleast. Bright, doing well. no problems. Until now.
Just before half term, one of ds's friends tells me thta he is so naughty that he lost his playtime on his beahviour chart again.
I was so livid. Met teacher. SENCO was there aswell. SENCO said there had never been a problem in the last 2 years, so ther 'must be a reason, as if it must be me !! SENCO did know I was having him assessed. she knew home problems and thus advised me to.teacher said it had been going on for weeks, and that she had meant to catch me !! but that this week, she instigated chart etc.
discussed it with him over half term.promised his beahviour would improve.
so today i go for a meeting with teacher. he's been telling me that he's ben good all week.
he has lied to us. he had been good. very good. but also lost alot of minutes she says. for calling out. copying and mimicking her in a nasty silly voice. etc etc.
she says this is the schools standard way of dealing with behaviour. warning, minute lost at playtime etc. and that she has lots of children on the board who have been told off etc.
but i think teacher is naieve, as to the fact thta the other children know this is going on. I support strong discipline totally. but if charts don't work after a week or 2 , surely something else needs to be examined.
My friend, who has a ds in the same class had problems with her ds in reception. all the children called him a naughty boy. he had a chart going on for over a month without mum being told. then she found out that they sat him up high and all the children were asked if he had been a good boy today.
stigmatised.
soon all the parents were talking about him. not invited to parties etc.
as it was, when he was moved to a different table, away from 2 boys, he was good as gold and floursihed, particularly academically.
The friend, ( the ds thta made the original comment about losing his minutes, ) told me that everyone is still talking about my ds. presumably parents are too. I want them to discipline him. but discreetly. I don't want him talked about.
PLUS, after the long talk over half term, it doesn't seem to be working , does it ?
teacher said she wanted to continue with it for another 2 weeks, but i think quite alot of damge has already been done.
Or maybe i am totally over-reacting. they do know best. shall i let them get on with it ?