Grrrr.... bloody bloody bloody autism

[Spinkle]

DS refused to go to his Grans to see fireworks with his cousins.

He was fine doing it last year.

We put in the car to go anyway. He screamed all the way there and continued the meltdown when we arrived.

You see, the adults in the family have never witnessed this before and were most upset. But not as terrified as his cousins.

Well, they have now.

We put him in the car and took him home again.

He wins. Autism wins.

We may as well be prisoners in our own homes.

I had pretty much the same thing happen at a party (the firt party he's attended for 3 years) last week. I had to remove him under my arm (and what will happen when I can't do that any more?) - straight to macDonalds for him to sit under the table and hold a noisy toy up to his ear and tap his foot.

And the worst bit was the look of total resignation on his four year old brother's face when I said we had to leave the party because ds1 was getting upset.

So - Autism wins. go Autism

If it makes you feel better, it's probably because all the lights AND noises AND people overloaded him and made him feel ill or in pain that he screamed, not because you haven't handled it right.

Nah - they hadn't even started!!!

I think they must have done the 'fireworks are dangerous' thing at school and now he is petrified.

Must be a bummer for siblings. Terrible, in fact.

I s'pose it's good the rellies have seen the drama - they might actually believe us now when we tell them he is disabled.

I thought that, now your relatives have seen a meltdown, they might have more understanding of why some things are necessary and some impossible.
It certainly stopped some of my inlaws in their tracks, and cut down on inane suggestions.

Know how you feel Spinkle. We have often set off for an activity only for ds1 to refuse to get out of the car and scream until we go back home. We then arrive back home usually with dp and I not speaking as both pissed off. I have rather depressingly stopped trying. I enrol ds1 in every ASD club out there so that I don't have to apologise for his behaviour and also feel sad about the missed opportunities. he is much happier in these places and we can then attempt to take dd2 out more. Of course there aren't as many clubs out there as I would like...

Colditz, it sounds like a course on Team Teach or something similar would help.

I'm 5'4, 10 stone and have removed students a similar size from situations when they were becoming aggressive. I was trained to used TCI Crisis Intervention techniques(developed by Stamford) but there's a fair few methods out there. It teaches you how to restrain/physically support someone without hurting them.

Useful one: If someone is pulling your hair, press their hand into your head. Might not make them let go but hurts a damn sight less!

Only used in absolutely vital circs. I'm of the school that would rather get hurt than restrain if I can help it

Interestingly enough Goblinchild we have just had a phone call from rellies offering to babysit (once he's asleep) anytime we wanted....

We thanked them, of course, but explained we were far too shattered most evenings to even consider going out.

I'm also quite glad my SiL (not my fave person....) realise how lucky she is with her kids. She moans endlessly about them. I don't think she will now.

It seems like I'm always feeling either angry, sad/upset, or guilty. Just seems to go in cycles, depending on what's happening. I think the guilt takes up the time I should be feeling happy.

We wanted to take DSs to a Halloween farm outing just before Halloween, and just finally decided against it, after days of discussing it. We didn't have a prayer of taking DS2 anywhere near any fireworks displays this weekend.

Today I am spending the day trying to keep DS2 from picking at the scraped open and raw skin on his forehead from him falling at school the other day. The last thing I need is for it to get infected. I've put a bandage on it, but it doesn't stay on that well and he keeps pulling it off. And his forehead and nose are still swollen, with two black eyes, so I don't really want to take him anywhere in public either.

sorry, hit enter too soon..

No words of advice really. just commiserating.

Family has seen a truly awful meltdown either. Don't want to think about it. We've managed to avoid it thus far, only small ones. I'm sure he'll have one in front of them eventually, but hopefully not soon. I'm stressed enough as it is.

hasn't* sorry.. need coffee

Sorry I missed your post last night. Hope you're feeling a bit better today, albeit the having to stop indoors with a bruised child.

Autism totally stinks in our house atm as well. DS2 has ben on top form all morning, the icing on the cake has been him ripping my fire surround off the wall and it fell on DS3. Lovely!

Thought I was the only one who deals with this kind of crap 5inthebed. ds1 pulled curtain pole and of course curtains down this am. Thank god pole which is quite heavy didn't hit anyone on way down.

He doesn't do it often, but when he does, my god it is great . He often stands on the hearth and sort of swings on the fire surround, always I have to tell him not to do it, it was getting quite monotonou anyway.

mononotous

Sprinkle - hope you are feeling better now.
Hopefully your relatives will understand more. Mine tell me I should be more patient, firmer etc. lots of advice on parenting but no-one goes as far as to offer to help. At least you have had offers to help with baby-sitting.

5inthebed and cansu - I am so glad to hear that other children do these sort of things too. Thought the curtain pole thing was not that common.

Triggles, can you get near him with spray plaster? Stings a bit when it goes on but sticks like Sh1t once its there...

KYMSO, I've worked with a fair few kids in residential school who had their curtains attached with strip velcro because they trashed their rooms when they were sent there for time out. It's pretty common. I've known kids rip plaster out of walls, throw stuff like tv's and fridges, climb up on the wardrobe to topple it over and smash it up... You are not alone ;)

purple - thanks for the suggestion - I will look into that... not sure if he'll cooperate... certainly worth a look at

You'll only need to sit on him get him to cooperate for a few seconds ;)