Parents say in who attends Team Around Child meeting and general trouble with school

[PolarEyes]

DS1 is 5.1. in reception (dx asd)

During the course of the IEP meeting with school SENCo today, she mentioned the Family Support Worker from the SureStart centre was attending the upcoming TAC meeting. The support worker didn't attend the last one in July and I haven't spoken to her since March. I really cannot understand why she is attending - DS1 is now over 5 so beyond the SureStart centre provide support. I don't really want her there tbh but SENCo said she had to be invited as she was previously (though did note she didn't attend). Anything I can do?

I am having LOTS of issues with the school - the bottom line is they generally view him as PITA. His Class teacher doesn't trust him, and even though he has never run off she thinks he might. They made it clear they wanted us to agree to him not being in the Christmas Play (which we did) and then went onto to describe the nightmare when another parent with a DC with same dx of ASD insisted on her DC being included and said child ran about on stage.

When I queried him spending his lunchtimes wandering around alone, SENCo said, "of course he does he is autistic". I made the point that DS1 will go into passive and withdrawn behaviour when he is anxious and as he doesn't have the skills to join in it doesn't mean he doesn't want to. (They had said they would give him support at lunchtime but it isn't in the statement so I know there is nothing I can do).

They stopped him going to the gym club first thing (specifically for children with difficulties) as his TA doesn't start til 9.15am so there was no one to take him and pick him up. (gym class is 8.45am til 9am). They are applying for more hours so this can happen again but I can't help but wonder if they could arrange for that to happen without increasing his hours? dunno probably unreasonable of me.

I was told he won't stop running around in circles at PE and is being dangerous with it so they have to physically remove him. Also big problems getting him to assembly when he hasn't finished what he has started on his first/then board. I mentioned I hadn't been told and SENCo replied "well I am telling you now."

IEP is o.kish but one of the targets is fine motor skills and DS1 will be doing the LDA fine motor skills programme. I asked what that was and she told me too google, which I have but I can't find any details of what the programme entails without shelling out for it myself.

But with all that DS1 has made a friend, is finally going in without any fuss, really enjoying reading and they have even got him writing a bit.

DH is convinced changing him could be out of the frying pan into the fire and I see his point, as I thought I'd picked the best school for him. (not our nearest so I drive him).

What can I do to improve things? Or am I onto a hiding to nothing?

Have done a bit of googling about the whole who is invited to the TAC meeting. Most local authorities seem to suggest that only those professionals who are going to be involved in providing a package of support to the child should be involved and that also parents should be asked who they would like to attend. Maybe you could write that this particular person hasn't seen your ds in some considerable time and is no longer involved with him. Suggest that you would prefer the professionals to only include those who are likely to be involved in providing support in the future for your ds.

1. SENCo sounds a real PITA. I find it totally unacceptable that you are told to go and google the programme they are meant to be using with your ds. I would personally be tempted to ask her in writing so you have a record of their response or non response.You shouldn't have to do this, but it might help them to make more effort in future.

1. My dd2 is ASD and in reception and I would also be upset if she was wandering around alone. The fact that your ds has ASD means that they need to do something to help him engage with his peers.

3.If school have identified PE as a problem for your ds; what is their new plan of action to ensure he can take part in PE?

I think I would also be tempted to start putting any concerns in writing. Even if it doesn't change SENCOs views, it will create a good paper trail that might be useful later on if things don't work out the way you would like. You might also want to bring some of these issues up in the meeting so that SENCO might be obliged to make more effort.

Put in writing, what 'OUTCOMES' there will be for your DS of this persons attendance at the meeting, for you to consider whether or not she will benefit your ds or your family.

Tell them you want this information prior to the meeting because if the answer is none they have no business being there and it is a waste of resources and tax payers money.

You need this in writing.

'I asked what that was and she told me too google' You need this in writing too. Say simply that you have requested info on what this is, you were told to 'google', but having a disabled child you have limited resources and would appreciate they gave you some information etc.

You need these things in writing. You need to build up evidence of all this which you can use as leverage eventually to get them to do what you need them to.

hth

Do you have a phone number for the person who chairs your TAC meetings? It may be organised differently in different areas, and I am not quite sure who actually decides who attends, but I had a telephone chat with our 'chair' when our involvement with one professional came to an end and he was more than happy to agree to that person no longer attending meetings.

Mind you, given that there were 12 of us at the first one I think he was just grateful to get it down to a more realistic number

Oh and you might want to google or call your LA switchboard and ask who is responsible for registering TAC meetings, CAF Manager, or Itegrated Practice Manager or some similar title - basically the person in the council responsible for monitoring and registering integrating working and multi-agency stuff.

THEY can usually kick arse, but not a lot of people know that.

Thanks for replies.

Cansu - thanks for googling it didn't occur to me. Though I am googled out after tracking down the fine motor skills programme(!). Come to think of it Preschool were at the last meeting but no one has invited them obviously. I am slightly concerned that SENCo had actually rang the FSW but not the SALT or Specialist Teachers. . I pissed the FSW by going to a course she suggested but giving up on it (was for parents who have had or currently are depressed and i found it the opposite of helpful).

I really am not impressed with the SENCo at all and was quite taken aback at her response. Didn't think it was very professional. SENCo is adamant he needs lunchtimes to chill out without anyone glued to him. There was another person present who is in charge of lunchtimes and she told me not to worry as yesterday DS1 went on a space hopper and followed some children round for the first time. It made me feel quite upset tbh!

SENCo said they were introducing a STOP sign for him to help with the non-stopping. She made it sound like her idea but I know it actually is the SALT's recommendation.

STAR - I hear you (and Cansu) on the papertrail. I have never met or spoke to the head, I realise this is a giant mistake. Should I send it to the SENCo and cc in do you think? Also, one of his IEP targets is to be able to consistently use his visual time table using a first/then board. I dunno I feel this a bit lame?

Ampers, unfortunately the SENCo is now the chair of the TAC. It was orginally organised by Early Years but they passed responsibility over to school. I may bite the bullet and ring the FSW tomorrow and see if I can glean why she is coming and put her off.

having done enough TACs to shake a stick at I can tell you, that in good practice YOU should decide who attends the TAC and there should be no more than 5 proffessionals present. Also proffessionals should only be invited if they are having or going to be having a active rolein the childs life.

I was quite upset that the preschool invited the Children centre Outreach worker to DD2 TAC and I had never met her and she couldnt offer us anything either.

x-post Star, will ring my LA tomorrow. Wonder if is still falls to Early Support (not early years as I put on my post). They were really helpful.

ah thanks lisad. Yes that is the right job title for the person I am posting about. I am deeply suspicious as to why the SENCo would bother to ring her but can't fathom what they are up to.

I know the SALT won't be there (though the SENCo doesn't!!) nor the Ed Psych. Will have the SENCo, 2 specialist teachers (as preschool is handing over to school one) and me and DH. Not sure if class teacher or TA is attending. So not too heavy on professionals.

Polareyes - what shoddy, shabby service from Senco. Agree with others,get everything in writing and don't be scared to offend her. Might be worth asking if they're aware of DDA and that reasonable adjustments should be made for your ds.

thanks fighting. I wasn't sure about the DDA apply as statutory schooling won't be til Jan term? Agree they need a reminder.

Also DS1 will be taking part in rehearsals for the school play but won't be in it. I assume they are mostly doing rehearsals in the afternoons so it won't affect the early years children who are still part=time. I am not sure how he is going to react when he finds out he won't be in the play.

I don't think I thought it through when we agreed for him not to be in it (he is bit phobic of dressing up clothes so were fine with the idea of him not being in it, but not where they were coming from if that makes sense).

Think it's really bad that they are excluding him from play. We had a child with severe SN and he was fully included in the school musical with full support from LSA. I would say you've reconsidered the Christmas play and would like him included and see what they say to that. If they insist that he can't do it make them put it in writing. I am in anti-Senco mode myself at the moment - can you tell?

I am pretty sure they will let him take part if we insist, as the way they worded it meant it was our decision, but only after we agreed did the class teacher come out with the mono-rant about what had happened previously. Sorry you are in an anti-Senco place too, it really is not a fun place to be.
Only upside is my DH is now more onside with me about it all, whereas previously he was on the fence. Silver lining?!

Ah well,hope your Senco sees sense soon (bit of a tongue twister ).

Just wondering if the Family Support Worker was invited as in Reception, not all children are 5 even within that year, just before next sept. Reception in our area is still classed as early years, key stage 1 starting in year 1. She may have been put on the list only for that reason - professional courtesy (professional courtesy being the biggest, waste of finance and time IMO - rant over).
As star says - what is she likely to be able to contribute?

I hope yours sees sense too fighting, though I'm not holding my breath on my one.

auntevil, Sure Start has a birth date cut-off as is not education so don't think its that. The FSW was once an LSA and my guess is she knows the SENCo personally iykwim. She isn't going to be able to contribute anything.......I think I will sound her out on the phone as the only reason she was invited to previous TACs is cos she was helping me a bit with DS1 but as that isnt the case I would like to hear her reason.

DH has made a good point - if the class teacher is so afraid that DS1 might do something dangerous which is why she wants full hours for him in class, why is he suddenly o.k to be left to his own devices at lunchtime??

I am sure that the school will be able to include your DS in the christmas play in some form - maybe just a chorus part. Or he could be given a "super-important" job of sitting next to the teacher / music person to make sure that they start the songs at the right time, or some other "contrived" role, which will hopefully keep him engaged, but if he didn't, then it wouldn't be a disaster. Or he could have a visual tick list of the order that things happen in the play. Laminate it and he could tick / cross off when that part has happened - ie angel has spoken - tick, donkey appears - tick.

I would think that the FSW has been invited to see if there is anything new going on in the area that may help you / your son / your family. Presumably she is linked to a Childrens Centre?In which case she'll be aware of a whole host of other activities / pots of funding / parenting support sessions, which may / may not be relevant for you. It really is a way of trying to get as much support as possible. But if you really don't want her there, then you have the right to say so. But, I would caution that if you do refuse to have someone it may look as if you are refusing support, and this might not be a good thing so early on in your son's school career.

This might not be useful,,, but had a thought, we were given choice of who our lead professional was, (ie who heads up the TAC), that might be cos ds was only 3 so no school involved, but didn't know if you had anyone else involved who would 'relieve' the SENco from that task for the future? Might get more support??

NappyShedSal - I'm not sure if I have explained it badly. The school could, and I am sure will, give DS1 a part in the play if we insist but the point is they do not want him in it and have made that v clear.

The TAC meeting is about DS1; there really is nothing I want nor need beyond him being supported in school and obviously this is outside of what the children's centre can offer. He is also beyond their age group as he is over 5. We have already done the only parenting course available to parents of children with communication difficulties that is available in our area. My DH attended too and he is self-employed. We worked out that attended the course cost us over £1k! I therefore feel we really have done everything reasonable and I really cannot say that we have had the same courtesy from the professionals involved.

signandsay - at the end of the last TAC the SALT said Early Support had asked of the school could take over arranging the meetings and was this o.k with me? At the time I felt the only answer was yes iykwim. Not sure we can get the SENCo removed as chair without it causing a huge fuss.

Anyways I have left a message for the FSW to ring me and will try and find out what is going on.

THe FSW rang me back and I am am very and my suspicions. She was not happy about the school play/how the school were communicating/the way they were using hours and is going to come round for a chat and will help me tackle the school at the TAC. I feel quite bad now, but I honestly used to think the best of people but I seem to have changed without realising it.