can someone help with apsergers and what activities school provide please?

[mrshess]

Hi we strongly suspect my son has aspergers after being fobbed off for years and now we have received a letter from school nursery asking us to come in as son is experiencing difficulties in school when prev we were just told he was fine in school.
I would like to offer some suggestion to school but dont really know what activities or things they can provide.

Sons main problems is he cant queue up outside nursery as he doesnt like children near him he hisses and warns people away.

He is over familiar with adults and follows the teachers around thinking he is an adult and talks to them non stop just blanking children and just wanting all adults attention.
Teachers have commented he follows them round and doesnt actually do anyhting he just flits form thing to thing.

He cant pretend play at all

He doesnt know how to play with children and doesnt like them coming up to him.He can be very aggressive if they touch him

Sorry for so long but i want to help him but dont know what school can do any ideas would be appreciated

Personally, if you suspect Aspergers, then I would ask your GP whether he can make a referral to a specialist Health Unit to Assess him for AS.

Have you had him assessed? If you want to, go to your GP and ask to be referred to a Developmental Paediatrician, insist on it.

Does the school have a SENco? this meeting may not be a bad thing, it could be the start of getting some kind of IEP and then statement in place for him.

He sounds very like my ds he is ASD and getting a diagnosis helped like you would not believe, no one can call him naughty now and allowances are made. Come back and ask any questions you want to, I am no expert but have been negotiating the system for about two years so know a little.

Thanks everyone i should have said he was assessed for autism but not enough evidence, basically we weree made to feel like crap parents and to stop wasting their time because i had made an official complaint about the time it took to assesss him and we were being fobbed off as we had moved area and suddenly we hit problem after problem.

After being worried about him starting at school nursery they kept saying oh hes fine hes really chatty, and he hasnt pushed or hit anyone. I mentioned his background and his teacher said i wouldnt he thought he was autistic and dont worry about him.
Then one afternoon a teacher admitted she had seen him hissing and warning children away and that he follows teachers for their constant attention and he doesnt actually do anything.
I then get a letter saying come into school to discuss the difficulties he is experiencing in school and i was like where has this come from??

I tried to speak to one of his teachers today but the 2 main teachers werent there so now i have to sit and stew and wonder what difficulties they are on about as they have kept telling me he is fine

Personally if you are in a new area I would ask for him to be re-assessed and I would not take no for an answer. I live in London and they are absolutely fantastic here, concerns to diagnosis within 7 months and ds is very high functioning. I know from reading on here that some areas are just awful though.

Seriously, you are your sons only advocate, don't let them label him as being naughty if you feel there is more to it than that. I so remember that feeling of being scared and wondering what they wanted to talk to me about, I remember willing desperately every single day to go well for him even after we had his diagnosis it was still tough. It only started getting better tbh when I stopped pussy footing round and said "this is what I want for ds, this is what he needs and thats that".

Shimmery the problem is we were in a fantastic area and the paed was pushing for assessment then we moved to tameside (manchester) and we have been fobbed off for 2 years until i complained as he was ready to go through assessmnet in old area but as soon as we moved we were told too young to assess and then he didnt fit the criteria. They only assessed as i got my old paed to write a letter urging them to assess and for support.

What sort of things can i ask for though this is my question. What activities can they do to help as i dont want to be fobbed off and say they are monitoring him.

As a former TA, it sounds like he needs 1:1 support, at least some of the time, to make sure he's accessing education and not just following the teacher. Also, to take him to a quiet area to work if he's disrupting other children, for example in circle time.

Activities can be pretty much the same as for the rest of the class, but he will need an adult with him to keep him focused and sat down to complete it. He will probably need to be sat at a table on his own or with one or two quiet, sensible other children to make this work.

One strategy for lining up time might be to always make sure he is last in the line. That way, he can keep himself at a comfortable distance from the others. Or maybe he could be the door monitor and hold it open for the others to walk through each time?

HTH

Does he struggle to fit in with the routine and with friendships, from your OP it appears so, Social Stories might help with that, google them. The trouble is that if they don't think there is any issues with regard to ASD then it is unlikely they will want to implement anything like that to help him. You could ask them to identify what they perceive to be the things he is struggling with and to work with him on those, you could ask for an IEP - Individual Education Plan, the trouble is again if they don't think he needs it then it is all just going to be a real struggle for you. You could ask for him to be assessed by Ed Pysch.

However I may be getting ahead of myself, it maybe that they have identified some concerns and DO want to be proactive about it and this is why they are calling you in.

I think the only thing you can do is go in, listen to what they have to say and then come away and do your own research, definitely get advice from this board. You could also seek a private diagnosis as well if this was within your means, you could even seen a private Ed Psych if they were unwilling to refer your ds.

I so remember this feeling of totally floundering around and expecting/hoping that his teachers would know what to do. The trouble is they just don't half the time. Even when we were diagnosed at the end I said to the Assesment Team "well what happens now?" and they just looked at me, because nothing happens now, with HFA kids, you get on with it and hopefully identify what is needed along the way, its a bloody sad state of affairs really. It is so hard but you now have to become The Autism Expert for YOUR child, because I tell you right now no-one else is going to. Ime all the LA care about is saving money and will do the bare minimum to help your child that they can get away with.

God I sound like doom and gloom don't I? But I wish I had known how it was going to be and then I wouldn't have spent the best part of a year drooping around hoping for someone to tell me what to do.

So go in the calmly and just listen to their concerns it is not up to you to offer anything just yet until you know what you are dealing with get THEM to identify what their concerns are in detail and from there you can move forward. Hopefully if they are any good they will have already started the ball rolling with their SENco and hopefully she will be a good one. Do keep posting though. This Board is the best, I have learned most of what I know about ASD from here.

Okay in theory your son should have support and provision in place to help him access an education... Based on his needs rather than on a diagnosis.

if your thinking AS .. He might need some communication work in functional language ( turn taking, Reading non verbal cues .. That sort of thing)

also some work on social skills ( again sharing, turn taking, communication how to work out what other people might do ( social imagination) in social groups etc)

also work on self management of behaviour and work on emotions and how to reconise them.

Also TA help to make sure he has the time to process what he is being asked to do and to keep him on task.

These things will vary according to his actual needs... But they should be being addressed.. If outside agencies are involved he should be on SA+
you also want SMART IEPs and try and push for them to be measurable.

Although all of this will totally depend on what your school/ LEA is like and you might jolly well be better off with a statement ( that makes things on it legally binding).. Where as IEPs and SA+ isn't.

Hth