Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

I am getting nervous now, which I know is silly

33 replies

2shoes · 02/11/2010 18:39

I have the sodding transition meeting tomorrow.
I am dreading the start of the battle.
I know why dd needs to stay at her school for 16 plus, but the thought af having to battle to get that is scaring me.
we have to win as the other place is just so wrong for dd(TBH it is unsafe as well)
but as we all know it comes down to money,

still I have arranged a pub lunch with a couple of school mums after.

OP posts:
kerry0115 · 02/11/2010 18:42

good luck hope all goes well xxx

auntevil · 02/11/2010 18:49

One more battle to gain strategic advances - remember, they will never win the war and you have all the SNMN troops behind you.
I for one am getting sick of the - due to the cutbacks - answer for non service. It's almost as if they can trot that one out now and we'll all accept it as we know that there are in some cases budget cuts. There has to be more reason than that to knock back a decision.
Clear head, stay focussed on what you want to achieve and don't accept civil service quango speak instead of reasonable argument. Rant over.
Let us know how you get on.
Mine's a veggie lasagne and a diet coke after in the pub. remember an army marches on it's stomach ( ?!)

Original poster
2shoes · 02/11/2010 18:51

I have loads of "evidence" to back up why the other place is wrong and will be using the word exclusion a lot, oh and over my dead body

OP posts:
allhallows · 02/11/2010 18:59

In verbal warfare, never, ever lose your cool. Speak calmly, don't let them excite you, no matter what. Maybe have a pad of paper & a pen with you with your main points clearly visible (to you). That's what I've learned so far. Even when arguing with soon to be ex-h. He who shouts first loses! Grin

StarkAndWitchesWillFindYou · 02/11/2010 19:07

Oh it's all due to the cut backs why my ds isn't making the progress he should be now is it?

Last month it was 'due to his autism'! At least it isn't that any more! Sad

2shoes We all know how you feel love, so when you are sitting there and something strange is said, think to yourself 'wait til I tell them lot on MN you said that'. It might give you strength and make you feel better.

God it's awful what they do to us. We constantly feel like we are going from one stress test exam to the next with no rest.

asdx2 · 02/11/2010 19:18

Good luck 2shoes have ds's in a month and a battle to keep him where he is as well. Only difference is LEA are just not saying anything at all, mainstream sixth forms and colleges don't want him because he's "too autistic" and special schools don't want him because he is "too academically able"
The autism unit he is in do want him and can meet his needs but there is no precedence set and still the LEA are keeping schtum Angry

DeadlyNightShadeofViolet · 02/11/2010 20:35

Hope it all goes well - will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Allhallows's advice is good :)

Original poster
2shoes · 02/11/2010 20:37

i am lucky as teh parent advisor person has helped me, so all my points(and they look good) have been printed and sent out with the report.
you never know the college might say they can't meet her needs,or that she has PLMD(which we are expecting) she hasn't so that will prove that they haven't a clue.......

OP posts:
TheArsenicCupCake · 02/11/2010 21:10

Another one here to say I'll be thinking of you as I go into my meeting tomorrow :)

keeping your cool is fab advice.. I like to use the doodle stratagy.. When I'm mad I doodle concentric circles in my note pad while I take a breath.

Also you can to the ' mess with their heads thing' and mirror their body language and nod a lot.. And then you change the way your sat.. They will move to mirror you.. And then you say something you want .. and they will follow the nodding and.... Agreeeee!

( well hopefully).. Anyway the them mirroring your body language bit will makeyou feel totally in control :)

Lougle · 02/11/2010 21:19

You should get her to tell them why she wants to stay with her VOCA

Seriously, you are fab. This is YOUR DD, you know her best, you know what she needs. DO NOT be fobbed off.

Imagine we are all stood behind you saying "Yeah!!" "Wot she said!", you know, like they do in the House of Commons Grin

woolytree · 02/11/2010 21:30

Great advice from all on MN as usual :) Good luck! Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

fightingthezombies · 02/11/2010 21:57

Keep on fighting - the rest of the army's behind you! Grin

Original poster
2shoes · 02/11/2010 22:10

lougle that wouldn't work as she wants to leave school and stay home and watch tv, she also likes the idea of the other college as I would have to take her and bring her home!!!(yeah like I will do that)
thanks folks.
I will think of mn behind me and stay calm

OP posts:
Lougle · 02/11/2010 22:12

Ok, so revised advice:

Make sure you 'lose' the VOCA!

Original poster
2shoes · 02/11/2010 22:14

she isn't coming to that part of the meeting, I have told them they aren't allowed to discuss it with her, can't see the point of worrying her

OP posts:
justabouttosellakidney · 02/11/2010 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArsenicCupCake · 03/11/2010 09:10

Good luck this morning x ? ( remember you can do it)

Original poster
2shoes · 03/11/2010 15:38

it went ok, no answer yet, but I came away hopeful(hope my hope isn't misplaces) the fact that the college hadn't put their report in as they had to look into it further helped. so just a case of keeping everything crossed, I can ring next Thursday and might find out then.

the discussion about 19 plus was good as they were talking residential college, which sounds good.

OP posts:
sarah293 · 03/11/2010 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

auntevil · 03/11/2010 16:29

Good that there is definitely positive news in the longer term, shame you still have to wait for any answers. I know i'm not a patient waiter - too much time to think about the possibilities - but i think they seem to be looking carefully at the options, sounds positive. Finger crossing and wood touching for you for thursday. Smile

donkeyderby · 03/11/2010 17:09

Good luck 2shoes. Keeping fingers crossed. I was wondering how they were proposing to manage her respite package if it is based at her current school...Hmm

19 plus residential college...? Where is this place? I haven't heard of any 19 plus education near us or on offer to local young people.

Original poster
2shoes · 03/11/2010 17:12

don't laugh, but the one I have the prospectus for is in Cheltenham, so not nearby.
does look good though as looks very wheelchair friendly.

we didn't discuss everything as I had put it all in writing, so they are aware of the respite problem.

OP posts:
donkeyderby · 03/11/2010 23:12

Where do you get prospectuses from? I want to look into options and it would be good to know where you get your info

Original poster
2shoes · 04/11/2010 06:56

the college in question probably wouldn't be what you are looking for as it is mainly for people with acquired brain injury and things like CP, so very "wheelchair based iynwim.
but as I look around if I come across any I will let you know.
connexions advised that I used this to search as well

OP posts:
donkeyderby · 04/11/2010 12:18

Wow, just had a flick through. That's great. Shame our local post 19 facility is not up to scratch from some accounts. Do you think the LA will pay for residential college?

Hope today has got you what you want x