Well had the TAC meeting, the psychologist was not as helpful as i had hoped

[brandy77]

Well i was very worried about telling the SENCO that i had already sent a letter to ask for my son to be assessed, she was ok actually and joked about all the form filling on Appendix B she will have to do.

She said my son is behind his peers, which i knew anyway. Me and my ex tried our hardest to get them all to understand that our sons anxiety heightens when hes been in hospital or an outpatients apt and thats when he doesnt sleep, follows you around at home, refuses school, doesnt eat, etc. I hope they are starting to understand this now, I did drum it in that he will always be in and out of hospital, its not something that is going to go away so not getting him to school when hes anxious is a long term problem.

I asked the pyschologist many times what advice i could be given for when he wont go to school and wasnt given an answer, other than the SENCO saying she will get me a folder of work to keep at home for these days , i wasnt expecting that actually because i want him to go to school. Is this normal that its just accepted he refuses school and thats ok?

Psychologist said he shows classical conditioning, whatever that is, i have googled it but dont understand it! his paediatrician says he has severe emotional disturbance which they didnt agree with. I did say that the paed had said a majority of his patients have emotional problems/anxiety due to repeat hospital investigations. Shes a nice enough lady and said the same as last time, hes a very angry, anxious little boy. I thought yes, i know that but how are you going to help me. Am i expecting too much?

The teacher said she had kept my son in at break to give him 1:1, i did say that i wasnt happy about that as he needs to get out in the playground and away from learning for break.

Well thats it really, pysche said i can have phone contact with the mental health nurse, how thats going to help is beyond me.

The ex was actually quite helpful and said all the right things

I think classical conditioning means that he associates the hospital and outpatients appointments with other times when he has been subjected to investigations, etc. So regardless of what actually happens when he goes, it has the same effect. My DD1 had a blood test on one of her first appts. At every appointment after that for months, when we arrived, the first thing she said was 'not going to hurt me, not blood'. Because she hasn't had a blood test at any appointment since, that has faded, and now she says 'play with cars?' because she now associates that with it.

I'm not sure arguing the toss on what category he falls into helps much surely what you need is a strategy.

hi lougle, thats what i didnt get, any advice or strategies. I kept asking and asking about what to do when his anxiety is that bad that i cant physically get him to school and was just told i would be given worksheets to keep at home for when he doesnt go in. seems a bit defeatist to me and long term i want to go back to work (gave up in january because of all the admissions) so keeping him at home wouldnt be viable.

as for categories, lol, so far we have had attachment disorder, reactive attachment disorder, autistic spectrum, adhd, now this classical conditioning. all a load of old wotstis! i just want them to tell me what to do. i wonder if he does get assessed for a statement (wether he gets the statement or not) that they would look into this more for me do you think? xx

Sympathies, Brandy. My son has acute anxiety and everyone seems to brush over this all the time. He was seeing Camhs counsellor supposedly for trauma counselling and to help reduce his anxiety but she told us the other day that she will be working on his self-esteem . I would put some comments in writing regarding the meeting (were minutes taken?) and ask them what strategies they are going to be putting in place. There should be an action plan following the meeting. Have to say though my TAC meeting seemed to be a waste of time with not a lot being achieved as a result.

hi fightingwithzombies, yes the secretary was taking the minutes of the meeting. does your son refuse to go to school when his anxiety is really bad? i hate it, i feel very sorry for my son when hes really bad with it. and i tell you i am getting sick and tired of keep hearing the words "he needs good boundaries in place"! i have boundaries in place and it makes me feel like a crap parent. i cant believe that im basically expected to homeschool him for what could possibly be whole weeks at a time x

Hi brandy. My ds isn't a school refuser luckily,just drags his feet some days saying he's not going etc. When you get the minutes, if nothing's mentioned about the anxiety issues,get them to amend them. At least then your concerns are recorded and you can chase them over strategies to deal with it. Good luck.