Development delays followed by a few issues at nursery

[Fernie3]

My 4 year old son was a little delayed in his development up until recently especially speech and understanding but also more generally with fine motor control etc. His speech has come on very well the last few months and he actually communicates quite well now although he does have a lisp and mispronounces a lot of words ( for example he says shleeeeze instead of please ) nothing serious but sometimes people who don't know him have a bit of difficulty understanding him.

He recently started at a school nursery class and has had one or two issues for example he bit another child. The teacher has mentioned that he finds it hard to calm down in class, she didn't go into too much detail but i assume his behaviour is similar to his behaviour at home which he runs madly around throwing himself and things and screaming uncontrollably! . This doesn't seem to bad at home but i can imagine that in a classroom it is quote disruptive so i can see that as time goes on this may become more of an issue.

Has anyone had a child like this he doesn't respond to a lot of the normal behaviour rewards etc there are a few things like when he is screaming just start whispering because it forces him to be quiet to listen - doesn't always work but does sometimes. I understand though that the teacher can't get the whole room quiet and start whispering its not practical.

Is there anything i can do to help him fit in and calm down before he gets a reputation as the disruptive one? He's already the biting one :(

Fernie3, I think I am going to be blunt and simply ask you this question: do you wonder if your DS has special needs of some sort, or are you just asking in this section because you figure we have children with behavioural issues?

Honestly, I think that you need to worry less about his reputation, and wonder more about what is causing his reaction

It is easier to deal with this sort of behaviour if you have a clue as to what causes it. It could be that perhaps he is getting 'sensory overload', which simply means that he is finding it hard to process all the information his senses are getting, so deals with that by screaming and running. On the other hand, he could be finding it hard to get enough information, so he is running around and screaming to get a reaction.

One thing I picked up on is that you thought he had a speech and language delay, but his speech has come on. Do you think his understanding has followed it? I am thinking that maybe now his speech has come on, he is having more expectation placed on him with regards his understanding, which may not have caught up to the same level?

I would say that now is a good time to visit your GP and ask for a referral to a Developmental Paediatrician. If there is nothing to worry about, he or she will send you on your way. If there is a special need of some sort, he or she will help you get the things in place to help your DS, and you will know that you need to take action to get your DS help for starting school.

Fernie3, I can completely relate. My DD is nearly 4 and she will be starting reception class in january. I'm absolutely terrified. Not to mention aprehensive as to whether or not she will cope.

When your ds was at pre school/nursery, did the staff there express any concerns? It would be unusual if he was fine there and then started behing disruptive etc at school.

I definitely agree with Lougle, (who by the way has given me some really good advice)that you should go to your GP and ask for a referral.

The staff at my dd's pre school expressed oncerns very early on and she has been looked at several times by the health visitor, but because her symptoms aren't always severe, it's very difficult for them to say what it is, if anything.

How is your ds's social skills?ie, does he have any friends? What other things does he do that concern you apart from running around a lot and not being able to calm himself down?

At his old nursery he had a one to one helper but this ended about 6 months ago as he was then able to use a pen or pencil etc and stopped trying to escape.
The health visitor has referred him to speech therapy about the lisp but has said to wait and see how he settles at school before thinking about anything else. She will be coming back after christmas.

Lougle i posted here because i had some good advice here when he was struggling with the development before. We did have a referral to an " early intervention team" but never heard anything more about it and in any case have moved to a new area now. It is hard to tell if he understands because sometimes he surprises us with his understanding and other times he just leaving you wondering if you are even speaking the same language which makes me wonder whether he is just being awkward rather than having a problem of any kind!.

His social skills are ok although he is very very touchy he upsets people ( adults not children) by doing things like pulling at their faces and putting his hands down their tops. Other than that he is fine. Not sure about friends but he doesnt seem to find socialising that difficult.