how to stop ds talking in a 'baby' voice?

[basildonbond]

ds2 is nearly 11, has mild asperger's/dyspraxia and is very, very tall and thin (has low muscle tone and hypermobility)

he's very academically able but has always been very 'young' for his age and is not at all streetwise

he's always had a bit of a habit of speaking in a very babyish voice, but it's either getting worse, or becoming more noticeable - it does sound very incongruous coming out of such a tall body - sometimes he also moves in a strange almost puppet-like way, which I think he thinks is 'cute' ... unfortunately other children (especially slightly older ones) look at him with an undisguised sneer and he might as well walk around with a big sign saying "bully me"

he's going up to secondary school next year and I fear that he's going to be eaten alive unless he grows up a bit - he has a statement and the SENCO is aware that he is vulnerable but he's really not helping himself at the moment

any ideas as to how I can get him to act a bit more like an 11 year old?

I'm sorry I have no advice but wanted to sypathise and give this a bump.

I can see my DS doing this too, he is doing it now at 6, last week he even put a nappy on over his jeans and called me mama (in a baby voice) all day. He does the strange movements too.

I don't know if this will be true for your ds but I have noticed mine does it when he is feeling a little insecure or worried, like he thinks if he is cute and 'babylike' he will be cared for in the way he sees babies are so obviously cared for. Unofrtunately as you say it makes them a target for bullies - will be watching this thread with interest.

My son is a 7 year old Aspie and does this when anxious e.g. meeting new people. His language deteriorates as well so he starts to use 'baby talk' like 'I felled over'.

Can you identify those times when he does it most? Is it to hide anxiety? Is it when he is feeling particularly shy? If you can do that, you might be able to work in some alternative strategies for him with help.

Obviously, I am a few years behind you with this and I don't know the answer but I think I would make sure I try and map those times he does it most often and try and talk to him about how he is feeling at those times (not easy with an Aspie I know). I would not be negative about the voice but say you could tell he was nervous as his voice changed etc.

Maybe he could do something else when nervous, chew gum, just nod, tell people he is feeling a bit nervous. But at the same time, you could work with him on preparing for situations which make him feel like this.

You might be doing all this already but they would be my thoughts. Deal with the anxiety.

As for the odd walk, we have that too as DS has hypermobility and hypotonia (poor muscle tone). We are working on building up core strength to help.

But do you think the movement is an affectation? If so, again, it might be a sign of anxiety or stress if he is wanting to be treated as a baby. You could try and chart those times too.

Are school helpful? You could get them on side about this if they are.

My DS2 is very similar, he has Dyspraxia (but not Aspergers) hypermobility, and low muscle tone, too..

Strangely he too used to talk in a weird 'baby' voice when at home, however i don't think it was so bad when at school.. Do you know how your DS speaks when he is with his mates, i.e when you're not there?

Core stability exercises have really helped.
Also is your son flatfooted? i ask because my son has overpronounced feet, which we are sorting out with the podiatry biomechanical consultant.. basically he has specific insoles and they have really helped his movement when walking.. (my son also has Osgood Schlatters in his knees)..

On a positive note,the senco at the new school watched him carefully at breaktimes etc in the first year of secondary, there were a few incidents but mainly because he was the only pupil from his junior school to go to that school, so he was an easy target.The school came down hard on the bullies.

I would say as end of yr 6 approaches,talk to your current senco so that it goes on his file, and meet with the new senco, make them aware of your fears.

My DS is now in yr 8, and to be honest is mixing well, they change quickly once they hit secondary school as they observe the other children. I presume your DS will be moving up with his current friends,who will hopefully stand by him should anything arise.

I know it is a very scary time!

Thanks

I'm sure it is anxiety-related, however he doesn't seem to notice he's doing it so it's a bit tricky starting any kind of conversation about it.

He will be going up to secondary with his very supportive group of friends, however only 1 or 2 will be in the same stream as him so he will have to make new friends which he finds very difficult.

He's had the same friends since playgroup/nursery, which is great in one way, but in another it means that he's never developed those friendship-making muscles iyswim. When he's with his friends he comes across as much more 'normal' as he's not anxious, but if you take him out of his comfort-zone he can come across as very strange indeed ... He's been going to both cycling and cricket clubs for 4 and 2 years respectively and despite seeing the same kids week in, week out has never once initiated any kind of interaction with them - on their part, they tend to give him a wide berth (or bully him).

The comforting thing I've realised is that he doesn't use the baby voice with his friends, which is one plus point to hold onto!

The odd movements are partly just the way he's made and partly affected I think. He has very unstable shoulder joints, which keep 'clicking' out of place and I htink that makes it more comfortable for him to hold his arms at odd angles. Because he's very clumsy and unco-ordinated he used to try to avoid any sporting activity, but we've encouraged him to be more active and his endurance is now much better (used to get tired just walking to the park 10 minutes away - he can now run there, charge about and run back). He's very flat-footed (has huge feet and looks like he's wearing flippers) but when I asked our GP about it I was told 'they' didn't do anything about flat feet in children any more as it wasn't seen to be a problem

My DD aged 7 does this too!

This is the first time that I have heard of other children doing it too.

She has an ASD dx plus a whole host of other co-existing difficulties, including dyspraxia/DCD.

She sometimes uses a squeaky little babyish voice complete with lisping and I don't know why!

I think that it may be when she is anxious, but she does it at home too.

She has a younger sibling but did this before he was born, so that it not the cause.

Maybe I will mention it to her SALT

yes, can't add too much to this but my dd does it too....

thanks for all the tips everyone I will try and notice when she does it....

My DS 6 does it too, ranges from babyish to very sort of one-level if that makes sense.

Basildon-Funny, my son has enormous 'flipper' feet too! I cannot believe your GP totally dismissed the flat feet relevance,does he consider it only important with regard to joining the army!(old school)

Here (Pembrokeshire) it is a really important for Dyspraxics, and hypermobile children.If they are struggling to coordinate, balance and control movement it stands to reason that their feet,and therefore ankles (which support their entire body weight,and affect balance)should be positioned properly in the first place,to give them a fighting chance!

I initially mentioned it to my DSs OT, who observed his 'naked' feet, then we were referred to an Orthopedic Variance clinic to see a Physiotherapist in paed. Orthopaedics, now finally a specialist podiatrist in Biomechanics, who has spent hours observing the bones,and muscles.. he has specific orthotics which they make up in a lab.

You could discuss it with the OT?

There is a list on the website that supplies the basic insoles to the lab,of recommended private podiatrists in the uk if you want to continue and keep getting fobbed off..
www.talermade.com

I will just add that it has been recommended that my DS wears lace-up boots and hi-top trainers to support his ankles, and he strengthens his arches and muscles by rising onto tip toe and back (he holds onto the back of a chair for balance).

Try not to worry too much,your DS has another year to change and develop.My DS has only just learnt to ride a bike at 12, and although 'socially inept', has slowly worked out it all happens re. making friends,in the last 6 months..

Oooo, spelt it wrong- www.talarmade.com