Can a child be 'mildly' dyspraxic?

[Hangingbellyofbabylon]

dd1 is 6.2. Concerns are poor concentration, unable to sit still, very clumsy (covered in bruises), can't skip using a rope, can't ride a bike or swim. Poor hand-writing but very good at reading. Can't open a crisp packet, use knife and fork, do zips, buttons, put on socks, take off tops, do car seatbelt.

She is getting increasingly upset and dreads P.E as changing is so hard. I am getting frustrated by having a 6 year old who struggles to get dressed.

I talked to the school last year and they let her provisionally join the 'Move to learn' programme. I mentioned it again at parent's evening last week and was told that is no longer involved in 'move to learn' as they assessed her and she can hop and throw a ball .

I don't know what to do. DD is unhappy and finding life really hard but my dd2 is disabled, (she has cerebral palsy) and I feel like people will think I'm trying to find something wrong with dd1 too. I feel like there is so much focus on dd2 that dd1's problems get missed.

Could dd be mildly dyspraxic even though she can hop (which seems to be the pre-requitsive for any further help)

link to move to learn for those who haven't heard of it www.movetolearn.com.au/move-learn-movement-program.html

Yes she can be mildly dyspraxic. Teachers are not qualified to assess whether a child is dyspraxic or not.

of course she can, you know that.
ask the gp for an ot referral so that she can get some help with fine motor. (or at least get her assessed so that you know how much she is delayed)

you know you need to.

do you get her to do all the exercises to help dd2? (not sure how severe, sorry - the play doh, pegs, pennies, fine motor exercises?) have you got a peg board she can make pictures with?

yes I do need to do something. what's the best route for referral? I have been told GP's reluctant to refer so the best way is to see the school nurse? dd also has speech problems and problems with moving her tongue. Feel like it's all coming together know i've finally written it down. Also feel a bit shit because I have to spend so much time fighting for dd2 that I have kind of not really noticed how hard things are for dd1. Nuff guilt, will get something sorted. thanks

do you have a good relationship with dd2's team? we once got a referral for sibling through a member of the existing team... it's not exactly the tried and tested route, but it can work if you've got a friendly face somewhere - paed?

have not had great success with using school nurse at all tbh.

maybe you could discuss it with dd2's ot and gauge response?

guilt is just a by-product it can be disposed of safely

ok relationship with OT so will mention it next time I see her. Just mentioned all this to dh who thinks I'm trying to find a problem for dd who is just lazy. I guess I feel if I can't get my own dh to see the problems I have no chance in convincing a professional. Talking to dd2's ot is a good place to start I think. Have also made a list of all of my concerns so I have something on paper to focus and motivate me.

How sad that your DH thinks she is just being lazy.. There are some classic symptoms there, does he know the characteristics associated
with Dyspraxia?

Go along the route you have decided on above, list is good,(i tend to forget things in those situations unless written down).

Good luck and don't be put off until you have a solid answer {smile]

oops

That list could be my DS. We are at the early stages as the school has just identified it. We also thought that he was lazy or stubborn or both but now it all has just clicked into place. With or without a formal DX!

ds1 (8)certainly is but I think they phrase it as having 'dyspraxic traits'. OT wasn't much help and gavehim several sheets printed fromSparklebox!

That list in the OP fits our DS2. He can, however, hop (with 2 feet, not just one) and throw a ball. They (the school) were a bit surprised that he can also do a 40 piece puzzle by himself and has no trouble manipulating the pieces. But all the other things in the list cause him so much trouble and no end of frustration. Everyone's different, IMO, and I can't believe that hopping and throwing a ball is considered defining criteria.

Perhaps apply some logic to your DH - point out that if it was laziness, it would only be tasks your child DOESN'T want to do that she would appear to have difficulty with. Things that she would enjoy like opening a crisp packet herself, skipping rope, riding a bike like the other kids - children generally WANT to do these things! If she cannot and is getting frustrated, it's obviously not laziness.

triggles
ds1 can hop,throw andcatch
and could do 50 piece puzzles before he was 2! Upside down!!!

He also has an AMAZING spatial memory

HOWEVER
he cant cut a straight line and his handwriting looks like his5 yearold brothers
cant tie laces, struggles with buttonsetc

just sounds like a bit of denial with one sn, it's only natural that you'd shy away from another a bit it's too much work.

he'll be fine - you just have to say you think it's worth getting her checked to see if she does need some extra help with these developmental things. so your focus with him needs to be assessment, not diagnosis, lol. dx can come later if it helps her get the support she might need.

We've talked some more and I think dh is coming round but came up with the classic crap of 'not wanting to label her' . For me it was only when dd2 got her 'label' of cerebral palsy that we were able to get on and shout for what she needed. DH and I have sat down together and talked through our list of our concerns so feeling a lot more like I've got something to move on with rather than this vague niggling away at me-stopping me sleep thing I've had for a while now. thanks for the advice.

Is not being able to do puzzles on the criteria for dyspraxia?? Dd3[8] is rubbish at puzzles she is being assessed for AS but I think she has many dyspraxic traits. She has never graduated beyond a 20 piece puzzle but is very bright. I have often wondeed why she can't do puzzles.

Hanging..., I used to worry about labels, but have changed my view over the years and just want to be able to access the right support for Dd3.[hsmile].

Hanging - I'm not sure why you say 'mild' - sounds like quite a lot of difficulties and fairly classic dyspraxia....

I also wouldn't listen to heresay about a GP being reluctant to refer. Go ask your GP yourself....

HBOB - I have dyspraxia, dx at 21 earlier this year. I was EXACTLY like your DD at that age. Listen to your instincts. And don't let your DH call her lazy - I was dismissed as lazy for years. My parents and bf apologised when I was dx, they all thought I couldn't be bothered, didn't put in enough effort etc. I still think of myself as lazy sometimes. Please don't let him tell her she's 'lazy'. Also, I was a good little hopper at that age!

I got my dx through my GP. It was actually through Mumsnet I first heard it existed (googled 'difficulties learning to drive' and a Mumsnet thread came up where someone said she didn't drive as she had Dyspraxia and I googled it, saw the symptoms list and finally realised that the niggling doubt I've had since childhood that I had an undiagnosed medical problem was probably true). My GP referred me to a Neurologist and said she'd never seen an adult request a dx - mostly it was people with pre-school and primary age children she referred for dx. Try that route if the school are unhelpful.

Through that I've also realised I'm borderline Aspergers as well, I understand myself so much better now - my chaos finally makes sense :) Don't think of it as 'trying to label her' - if someone has a medical condition knowledge is power :)

ps: like Indigo says she does sound 'classic' - the neuropsychologist I saw in July said I was an almost perfect textbook case of it and she sounds so much like me at that age. Feel free to PM me if you want more info

I think the reason I've had trouble dealing with this is because dd is me at that age. I have very traumatic memories of childhood and in fact to my shame still can't ride a bike . Half of the reason I was overweight as a teenager because I could not bear the mocking in team games as I was so bad. I think because it's something I have always lived with I just thought it was just part of me and nothing could be done. It has seriously affected my self-esteem and still does. I think this has to be the catalyst to do something now for my dd1. Not going to feel sad or guilty but take this as a lesson in life and get on with doing something about it.

Also, sounds like my ds! Was told he has Dyspraxic tendencies, but it is getting worse, I am going back for a second opinion!

Hanging - I can't ride a bike either. Or tell the time.

A lot of adults out there will have Dyspraxia and not realise it. Have you told your DH you think you may be on the spectrum as well?

minty, I can't tell the time either! I used to be a teacher and having to try to teach children to tell the time was excruciating and embarrassing when they used to point out that I had got the big hand and little hand mixed up . I do wonder if life could have been different for me but I think the main thing is I will perhaps be a little less hard on myself as an adult. Drving is a whole nother thing, I can drive but there are certain things I can't do like change lanes, can't judge distance and speed and if the cars are on my left or right so can not drive on any motorways at all. I get quite a lot of hassle from people about it but I know I just wouldn't be safe. Wow, MN has seriously opened my eyes tonight.

So Minty have you managed to get any help as an adult who has been diagnosed or is it just a case of 'hey, you're dyspraxic now get on with life'

Hanging - effectively it's get on with life lol. I was dx by a Neurologist in January, he didn't want to do it for fear of 'labelling' me even though he said it was obvious I was. I argued that it's something I can choose to disclose or not and that as I was struggling to pass entrance exams for jobs due to poor maths, having my SN dx would be useful for me to show why I needed extra time to sit the papers etc. He dx me after that. I had a brain scan (more for resarch than him expecting to find anything, it was fine and healthy) and he referred me to the Neuropsychologist 6 months later. She gave me some hints and tips for life generally, esp work, but to be honest I'd got my degree, A levels etc - I've had to self cope! What was nice is that she gave me a confidence boost - how well I'd done to overcome invisible difficulties my friends and teachers didn't experience and that I didn't do badly at school (I did well but I should have done better with regards to my ability - I just really struggled until I was older to cope with exam timing etc and expressing myself well) after all.

The best part of the dx (aside from understanding WHY to so many questions, including why I nearly ran over 3 people in one driving lesson and why, in another lesson, I almost had a head on collision with a lorry I didn't realise was there, despite looking straight at) was that I've been able to have help in the workplace through Remploy. They gave me loads of tips with finding a job, and advice on any issues which arise in it due to having Dyspraxia.

My boss and HR know, one of the senior members of my team knows which is handy as she knows to be patient when we go out and I need to clutch the handrails of stairs etc. The rest of my team know something is 'amiss' as I'm often with HR or at Hospital (I also have Fibro but my brain scan and psychologist appt were in my 2nd month at work so they noticed I was missing). It's handy as they know if I say or do something odd it's because I think differently, not because I'm being difficult. I actually used it to my advantage in my interview - all about how I self overcame obstacles prior to dx, developing time management skills which required more of an effort than for NT people and also that I have the advantage of seeing things differently and can bring a fresh perspective :)

Also, since learning about Dyspraxia and ASD etc at the same time, I've learned a lot about tolerance etc. My DP has an 'odd' mate they all take the piss out of a lot but after describing Dyspraxia and Autism etc to him a few days later he realised his friend struggles with similar things to me and clearly has Autistic traits so he's learned to be more accepting of his friend's 'eccentricities'. I like to think I've aided people through raising awareness from friends and family, including my 'dyslexia's just an excuse for being thick' friend - I've completely turned her opinions around :D

that's really good Minty, you've done really well to get an actual diagnosis and to be able to go forward with that.

When i worked at a aschool in Devon we used to use Pindoras box - think they are discontinuing it which is a shame as it worked brilliantly for the children I worked with.