How much does a diagnosis help?

[StandingOnTheWorldAlone]

Ds has always struggled with his speech, dribbling, messy eating (still), pronouciation, expressing himself - all the words get very mixed up, with little ability in plurals, tenses, prepositions etc. His word mapping is very poor.

He is awkward in his movements - can't stay still and will jump and bounce and sway - which gets more exaggerated when he's excited. He struggles with friendships doesn't really understand/think about things from someone else's point of view but he's a gentle child. Fine motor skills are below average and he struggles with handwriting. He finds is very hard to make eye contact and really struggles to listen at both homke and school. Following more that 3 instructions at a time is almost impossible.

He has all these difficulties and it's getting to the point where immaturity as a reason sounds a bit lame.

His SALT has suggested that his oral/verbal dyspraxia could possibly be extend to general dypraxia and she wants to refer him to the Nuffield Centre for Assessment, she also things he'd benefit from a Ed Pych consultantion.

I know that he gets by in class without help and I expect a diagnosis won't change this but what would it change? In a situation when your child stands out for being different but can just about cope what benefits do you get from a diagnosis? The SALT said at the very least people would understand him a little better and be more sympathetic to his slightly odd ways but is there anything else?

How old is he ? I'm sure nearly every parent who's child has received a formal dx will tell you it benefited both them and their dc. It depends on how severe his issues are and how they are affecting him either in the home or classrom. He's not always going to be this young, and I personally feel any extras he can get via a dx is only a good thing - and sooner rather then later. Don't be frightened by it .. Many will tell you to grab it with both hands and use it as much as you can.

Truth is i don't know. I have a DS aged 7 in year 3 who has a dx of dyspraxia who sounds similar. He is academically bright when given leeway for his writing/speed/ quirks etc. The school i am now at have allowed - without my insistence - these systems to be in place to give him a level playing field. He was given an extra 3 sessions of OT at school this year without me asking . I think that it depends on what level of support you are getting anyway. Some organisations seem to have to see things in black and white before they will help. Others will help you regardless of a dx because there is a real and genuine need.
General feeling is that if you have it you can use it with the organisations that won't automatically play ball, but you don't need to use it to get anything if you choose not to.
Bit like a passport - just because you have one - doesn't mean you're going to go somewhere exotic, but if someone offers you're ready to go.

He's 7 - sorry meant to mention that. I think he is needs are low level.

The socialisation issues, speech and his odd ways are his biggest issues and of course his concentration.
He has a very lovely teacher this year, who really seems to care about him - his difficulties have previously just annoyed & frustrated his teachers...I guess he may not be so lucky next year. And sometimes understanding a behaviour can help an individual to be less annoyed by it.

Must admit that my biggest worry is bullying. His gait - particularly when he runs - personal space issues etc are very un-male. Teenage boys are quite likely to baulk at this behaviour unless we can moderate this before puberty. It's the not quite right behaviour - but looking/dressing/academically as they do - that singles them out.
No dx is going to stop that.
A dep H at a local school said to a friend -whose son has aspergers - on the school tour that he did not think she should put the school as a choice as he would be bully fodder. That there were better choices within the borough.
Tragically - knowing the school, he's probably right. [hsad]

A dx will almost certainly help you and help him.

As he gets older you will need an explanation to get school to cater for him. Not all teachers in his whole school career will take your word for it.

Plus he will benefit from the dx, especially as he gets older, because he will be able to understand why he finds somethings harder.

Plus it will help to stop you doubting yourself.

I can't see any disadvantages at all. In the dx process they might even find some more ways to help him...

I think DX would be invaluable. He may get by at primary where everything is very routine, but he may not at secondary.
My ds(who has some irritating behaviours!) has had sympathtic reactions from everyone because he has a dx. The lunchtime supervisors look out for him at dinner, the football coach knows not to get upset by insolent sounding questions. He has a social support/ circle of friends thing that has meant more of the kids look out for him. I could go on.
My ds will get more visits to his secondary school and will be flagged up for all the teachers before he geta there.

My dh is a secondary school teacher. If a child is displaying odd/disruptive behaviour in his class then the first thing he does is chck the sn list because then he can manage the behaviour accordingly.

Thank you all, all good points.

He has irritated the hell out of one teacher and her reaction to him nearly broke both of us - I was a hare's whisker away from home educating...but he is surprisingly resilient and matter of fact about how other people are with him - it breaks my heart though.

He's a bit of a marmite child - you either love him because you see a lovely, charming - he smiles all the time, enthusiastic, slightly off the wall kid - or you can almost hate him & see a pain in the butt who lives in a dream world and never pays attention, shows potential but almost to spite you won't apply himself.

The benefit is that you can say to people "he behaves like this because he has X. He's not doing it on purpose to anoy you. his behavior is a symptom of the disorder."

If DD1 didn't have her dx, I think I would think we were mad, tbh. As it is, once I had the dx, I felt I had definite grounds to fight for her. She is a bag of difficulties, generalised, but with one real issue - her brain is mashed malformed.

She now has a place at a special school, and I know that part of that was the fact that her Consultant wrote 'children with this dx generally need a statement whether they stay in MS or go to SS'.