Strategies for laughing at bad behaviour please

[auntevil]

My NT(?) DS2 has been a nightmare this evening. Defiant - laughing in my face - telling me he won't do whatever i ask - i can't make him.
Final straw - he stood there and pooed his pants on purpose - then laughed.
What to do when i'm feeling sane and calm? He was cleaned and got into bed in silence - as i had no idea what to say at that point.

No reaction for the poo pants.

Next time you can tell him calmly that you can't tell him what to do, but you sure as hell can tell him what he can't do, and he can't have any TV/Dinner/Toys out/New pants/Milk/pens or whatever it is that is right then currently motivating him or interesting him.

Poor you. Hope you've got some tea or wine at the ready.

Thanks Star. He's a bit of an odd one for giving out punishments. When he started reception last year, i warned them that he makes a decision as to whether the punishment is 'worth it' - and not to tell him what the punishment will be. they didn't believe me until he was asked to sit and join in and do something or he would have to sit in the 'reflecting' area and miss his play time. So he went and sat in the reflecting area as he had no intention of doing the task. Everything is black and white with him. I usually tell him that if he does an action then there will be a punishment - and i so make it something he wants/likes.
It's the laughing at me that is getting me down. i don't see what he is getting out of the behaviour?
Diet coke is going down a treat though

watching this thread with interest. DS (ASD) laughs too when he is doing something naughty knowing exactly what he is doing. We think he sees the emotion in our face and that is what he is after, still not sure how we could not react at him pulling strangers t-shirt just for fun.

Sorry auntevil, no advice, but lots of sympathy as I am a sufferer too.

He has woken up this morning in angelic mode. He has helped make breakfast for his brothers and tidied some cars away.
You maybe right tired - he does look at me intently when he's doing it. We have been told re the soiling not to get angry - just get him to be involved in the cleaning up process. Maybe he doesn't understand why we are not looking traditionally angry?
Oh to get into their heads to try to understand what's going on! Think i'll ask for that for christmas.