Child out of control, have been called into school!!??

[butty]

Well it has started.!!!! i have just received a phonecall from school requesting my attendance after school tonite.????
It appears that chloe has gone one step too far.
They caught her in the toilet, sticking wet toilet paper to the walls, and when asked to get down she said "no" in an apparant aggressive way.
When taken into class, they asked why? she has replied that "i was bored"
I hope now that they can see what i go through day in, day out.
But will i get the help from the pro's any faster "i dont think so!!!!!"
They want to talk about her behaviour??!!
Thats all i've been doing for the past 7 months with them.
What can i do????
I dont want her to be singled out.
PLEASE HELP.

butty, my ds Ive had many problems and the diagnosis is still unclear. But i've noticed from your thread that your dd is rather socialable and can conform when she wants.

My friends daughter was similar to your yours and it sounds like your dd is very bright and very lively.
My friend's daughter drove her mad she took her every where for a diagnosis, she is calming down now, but she has just gone off to secondary school. She put her energy into a drama/dance school/club. She got all the attention and lead parts, etc and loved it. This really did help her.

To be honest , I think she may be testing your patience and being you have another child that needs lot of your attention. It sounds that she was all of yours and doesn't care how she gets it. Could this be the case or do your feel there is more to her behaviour? larsxx

Lars,i do feel that there is more to her behaviour as it has been this way since before dd was born and was found out to have difficulties.
She does'nt get on with all children and at such a young age, i feel she is emerging with more problems the older she gets.
She can be very anti social when she wants to be, and i do not know how well she plays with the others at school, the party thing i think is where every kid in the class gets an invitation as still finding their circle of friends, and she was fairly abrupt with some of the children at the last party.
Chloe was very paully when she was born, she was effectively dead for the first 5 minutes and had major surgery, she was 3 weeks early and stayed on oxygen etc.. for the first 3 weeks of her life.
Her emotional skills are very poor and somewhat underdeveloped for a child of her age.
To be honest, i don't know what to think anymore.
She has no sense of fear, she is violent abusive, aggressive totally hyper, she never stops morning till night and the list goes on.
Its not just with me, it is with everyone no matter who they are.
School is the only place she is good and as stated that has started to change, she has seen peads etc who definately thinks she is on the AS spectrum and she certainly displayed her true colours at the appointments.!!
Butty.xx

Hi butty,

My friend daughter is Chole as well and it sounds all familar. They do say the truth is she like it a school, but she is conforming, which is great.

My friend's daughter was exactly the same at parties and her friendships always ended up in tears usually at her expense. After speaking to professionals with my own ds, they usually say when there is something more to worry about they usually act out at school.

I know my friend was convinced her daughter had ADHD and not until I had problems with my own ds that i realised that her daughter may have been just on the border line but not severve enough to warrant treatment.

Dont get me wrong my friend was at her wits end and it drove her nuts. Comparing my ds with her daughter it was my ds with the problems, they are more severve and intense.

I think it would be really helpful if you contacted the autistic society for a fact sheet regarding aspergers, they have experts in that field they can recommend if you can get referred from your GP and at least you can start to get to the bottom of it.

Butty, I am very interested to know why the professionals think she may have aspergers.

I'm exploring with the child phsy at the moment the chancing of my ds having aspergers, I do beleive he has this and would be interested to hear your views from the professionals. larsxx

Butty - No great advice i'm afraid - but loads of sympathy! - my son diagnosed with ADHD when he was 8, and Dyslexia/mild Dyspraxia when 9 had very similar traits to Chloe but was not violent but could be aggressive to an extent. Took him out of nursery for a year when he was 3 as I was called into nursery, marched up to head, to be told he climbed onto toilet and hung on pipes to look in cistern and flooded toilet. When he started school when he was 4.5 the school requested I go into school everyday for 2 hours to sit with him in class as he had concentration span of about 30 seconds! It's interesting what you say about social interaction because my son was fine too in that area but was not AS spectrum (he never got invited to parties ). The turning point came for me when we tried Ritilin for 6 months (I had not slept for more than 3 hours per night for 9 years and I was desperate, really desperate - I was then able to gain eye contact with him properly and he would stop and LISTEN - it really is an individual choice with regard to what, if any treatment parents decide to try, my decision was partly for me and partly for him because I did want to believe that it would help him concentrate. During this relatively calm period, it enabled me to develop strategies for encouraging him to behave and eventually it did work - I was able to talk to him and explain what was and was not acceptable etc and he listened and although he still listened most of the time when off Ritilin he had learnt if you like how to listen ITMS. He is now 19 and doing really well and still at college so my message to you would be IT DOES GET BETTER EVENTUALLY - I can promise you that.

my son's have Asperger's...and on a scale of 1 to 10 they are probably a 9 socially...10 being 'normal'...... but have to help them frquently with things like talking on the phone...what to say if someone calls at the door for them and they don't want to 'play' with them ... what to say when given a gift they don't like...what to say (or not to say) when they are asked by somone for their opinion (as they tend to 'say it like it is'- no regard for feelings...etc

But .... they chat away with anyone...and 'look' very socialble.

Also...interestingly...may AS kids are doagnosed with ADHD 1st as they tend to react to the stresses of having to conform in a world that does not always make sense by getting hyper (anxious)...Impulsive (too may choices to make) and Distracted (AS people are hyper sensitive to noises and other stimuli- so very easily distracted)

So...my eldest son has a dx of ADHD (at 7yrs) and takes a 'ritilin' type drug for that...and has a dx of AS (at 9yrs...with dyspraxic tendancies)

So ADHD and AS can 'blur' their symptoms together. Whether my son has 'true' ADHD i will never know.... but all i can say is that when his ADHD is unmedicated...his AS 'visable signs' are worse.

thanks for all your feed back,
The aspergers suggestion was made by the pead at the second appointment.
This i think was due to chloe's behaviour in the appointment and also the violent outburst whilst there.
Bearing in mind this was just his thoughts, he stated at the end of appointment " i think def ADHD if not possible borderline aspergers" which came as a shock, but in my favour, she really did show her true colours when in the appointment, she ran out of the door and the doc had to chase her to get her back in, and this was only midway through.
He also stated that she was very inattentive and by my description and what he saw, hyperactive and impulsive.
I think that there are definate problems, but i am glad that you have stated your experiences in regards to mixing with others.
We have got the appointment for her conners test results on the 27th of this month and so i shall take things from there.
Again, thankyou all for your support.
Butty.xx

social services have been round for the child in need referal, and was shocked about the way the disability support said i did'nt need help as i was coping fine on my own!!!!
Chloe did nothing but play up for the 1.5 hours she was there, and she was gobsmacked by her behaviour.
She has refered us back to the disability support team and said that what they did was unacceptable.
She has put dylan forward for respite at alexandre house once a month and has also arranged a behaviour team to come round twice a week to help with chloe and try to keep me sane.
She said that although the behaviour team are their to help, she feels that they to will have a job with chloe, and has said that she will visit twice a month for support and time out.(arranging for kids to go out whilst there so she can talk to me)
She has also put forward that i should apply for CA and DLA for chloe even without a DX and she said that herself and school nurse etc.. will be referees on the form and support my case until DX comes through as she said that their is an 8 month waiting list with specialists at the ADHD clinic.
Although i will get the conners questionairre results on tues, she says that there is still along way to go with other specialists!!!
God help me!!!!
Butty.xx

just seeing if anyone around, i aint heard from you all in a while.
Waiting in aticipation for chloe's results on tuesday. dreading it really.!!!

was it you who i promised some info about 'melatonin'????

yes it was!!! I'm very patient though (LOL) i have to be!!!
Cheers mrsforgetmenotful.
Butty.xx