Puberty in DS with Asperger's

[Tiggamog]

Hello all

My DS is soon to be 11, has Asperger's and is beginning to show signs of puberty.

His skin is becoming greasy and spotty, and he's starting to grow hairs on his body. He's not the most hygienic of kids and needs to be encouraged and reminded about cleanliness a lot, ie, hand washing after the loo etc.

Would really appreciate some advice on how to tackle the subject of puberty, ie, skin care, personal hygiene, changes in body etc, without causing him embarrassment or upset. (DH tried last night but ended in tears and shouting from DS!)

This is only my second posting on Mumsnet, but I received great advice and help last time, so know someone out there can help me. Thanks all.

A friend has recommended this book: 'Making Sense of Sex - A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger's Syndrome'. I haven't ordered my own copy yet but she says it's helping with her boy.

I bought my DS somthing similar.
I made one mistake as I impressed on him the need for cleanliness as he was getting bigger and starting at High school, he wasn't dry at night at the time.
He took me literally (there's a surprise) and always showers on a school day but never at weekends/ holidays!

I just treated it as what happens, in a logical and unembarrassed fashion. When he told me to stop telling him about sex and contraception, I did and then dropped in little nuggets of information whenever I saw an opportunity.
I used to cleanse his skin when he was watching something on the tv, rather like wiping a chocolatey toddler.
he's always enjoyed baths, I just yell through the door to remind him to flannel bits and wash his hair.
We combine him using an electric razor with the occasional wet shave from me.
He's always asked me straight questions, and I've always given him a straight answer. Sometimes I use my 'Not Now later' signal if it's not appropriate at that particular moment.

I'm not going into personal details about him on the net, but you can pm me if you think I might be able to help on more private areas.

My DS is 13, Aspie with MLD too and mild physical disabilties. He hit puberty at 10 and rapidly became furry and spotty!

We laminated a sheet with pictures and words showing him step by step 'how to wash'. However he still needs an adult in the bathroom to wash his hair and to actually prompt him thro the steps...including washing of personal bits. Hopefully eventually we won't have to be there!

We also built it into his rigid behaviours... so deoderant follows shower..followed by teeth etc etc, never any deviation. Once we had introduced each step it became absolute:):)

The sex thing we haven't tackled yet as tho he has an adult body his mind is wayyyyyyyyy younger developmentally. Not looking forward to that bit!!

'We also built it into his rigid behaviours... so deoderant follows shower..followed by teeth etc etc, never any deviation. Once we had introduced each step it became absolute'

Forgot I'd done that, but yes.

Thanks everyone,lots of useful advice there. DS still needs help when bathing, so going to try adding skin care to his routine, which should help.

He's emotionally younger than his age, so think it may be too early for the sex talk just yet.

He clashes with DH a bit when it comes to emotional issues so it looks like it will be down to me when the time comes, so no doubt I'll be back asking for advice!

Thanks again, really appreciate the help.