To Wish I'd Never Posted Outwith SN

[chorltonandthewheelies]

I have posted a couple of times in SN but being a parent of an "unusual" child I am more of a lurker. I relate to almost all of the feelings of the parents on the sn formum but sometime for "normality" or "relationship" support I look on the other forums and have occasionally posted -what a mistake!!

I have a 6 year old child who's condition is life threatening and life limiting so I accept this must affect my opinion 0n life but I cant believe the lack of support for disabled people in general on the other forums. Is it just me, or is it better to avoid them?

Sorry I havent been back on since last night. Thank you all for your support. I think I was maybe having a bit of a wobbler last night as I am usually very vocal at fighting for disability rights - to the extent we have a case at the High Court in Edinburgh at the moment challenging the under 3 rule to DLA. (long story - been under way for 4+ years now but still fighting!)

Re Mumsntet I will dust myself off and start again, and lose my sensitivity I think. I do enjoy reading the threads on the other forums as it keeps my brain active and has lots of useful info, plus sometimes you cant beat a good argy bargy!

Slightly off topic I think the reason everyone is so ratty on some of,the other forums (and I could be way off base but its just a gut feeling I have) is that people are, for lack of a better word, broke. I doubt it will get friendlier for quite a while...especially with all the job cuts and house price drops coming.

Or, it could just be that people are getting bitchier for no special reason at all

Tbh, I struggle to answer anything unless the title is very specific and makes it clear that this is one I could contribute to. My PC is slow and it takes too long to open every single post, so I just scan the titles. If a question is titled "I need a bit of help" and it's 3/4 of the way down the page ... well because most of the posters are asking about ASD and because the OP's name doesn't come up against the thread in the browser, and because even when I do find the name of the OP the whole name-change thing confuses the heck out of me - I have ADHD ffs, how am I supposed to remember the background when everyone changes name every month or so - there is no way I'm going to pick up that one particular thread is one I might actually be able to help on. [apologeticshrug]

my DD has features of both ASD and CP, maybe she can be a sort of go-between?

r3dh3d, I find it hard to keep track if the namechange is very different, so I can't remember who or why or what.
I figure if continuity mattered to someone, they'd keep the same name.

They don't work for DD either as she has severe motor planning and processing issues.

Anyway, the main thing for me is that everyone here is totally nice and understanding, which is what we all need!

Sadly as my DD has found out recently on the SN board people here are sometimes not very nice at all, so much so that she and I have both left.

Well, I think that is quite hasty, as people just didn't recognise the name, thought it was a troll, due to bad experiences recently, misunderstood, then apologised. Doesn't mean they are not nice people, can you not forgive them?

sneezecakesmum, what's your daughter's posting name?
I don't remember the thread at all.

ds2 has CP & ASD, so sort of a foot in both camps. often advice is valid regardless of dx

2shoes and Riven, I can see your point - I have wanted to respond to your posts before but have felt nervous about saying the wrong thing as it isn't my area of knowledge (my son is only 4 and has ASD, my dd is 2.7 and may have ADHD though it's too early to know)

I've always been interested in special needs, long before they affected me personally, and for a while I worked as a learning support assistant with teens and young adults with learning difficulties. TBH half the time I had to re-read their files to remind myself what they had been diagnosed with as on the one hand every single one was unique and on the other they were pretty much all dealing with the same issues - the same issues as all teens with the added complications of SN. So I will try to contribute a bit more on non-ASD threads.

I am getting really sick of the atmosphere on Mumsnet atm and am glad it's not just me. I liked that it was honest and feisty and witty but now there's a really bitchy, sneery tone to a lot of the posts. I agree with the other explanations but I also think it started going wrong when Mumsnet got all the media attention and people started talking about who was who in Mumsnet land - now there's lots of people wanting to stand out and get noticed and doing it by putting other people down (thought I'd left that one behind when I started A-levels...)

love this board, it keeps my sanity, and if I don't respond it's not because I'm snubbing anyone, it's just that I'm too knackered, and r3dh3d I also have some ADHD traits so I can identify with what you're saying too.