having problems home ed. my 6yr ASD ds..

[logi]

Hi ive put this in HE but thought i would ask here too.
I have been HE my so since a bad experience at 4 (he only went for 2-3 weeks).Basically he is difficult to teach and ive tried to make it fun for him...he hates writing or being told what to do,at the suggestion of his doctor i was considering a place at an autistic unit for a couple of days a week...his name was due to go up before a panel for a place last week and the meeting went ahead and i found out my son wasnt even mentioned(everyone seems to be blaming everyone else for this).
I enjoy HE but feel im letting my ds down as he doesnt mix with other kids his age and getting him out on my own is almost impossible even in the garden i have to stand next to him.....he often seems bored and lonely and i dont know what to do for the best.Any suggestions welcome.thanks

Have you looked into the ABA approach?

SOme of the organisations run special social skills groups etc.?

Hi i dont really know what ABA is ,i will look it up.
My ds loves to play with other children but really only has contact with young ones,but he comes across blunt/rude for ex. if someone were to come round and hes had enough he will tell them to go home or go upstairs until they have gone.
I do take him to a 0-5 group but he cant go to this forever.

You'll probably need to pay someone to come and show you how to do it, and might need to have a consultant oversee it for a while whilst you get to grips with it.

Read 'Catherine Maurice - Let me hear your voice'. He isn't the same age but it explains a bit about it.

The best advice really though would to be go and look around an ABA school. There are a few in the UK.

I am dealing with a version of this with my HE 12 year old with HFA. Mine does exactly that, plays best with younger children, goes off by himself when he's had enough. I have some adult friends who know us and understand. That helps so much. They see him develop over time and love him.

He hates being told what to do, gets anxious, angry or jittery and unpredictable. I am currently taking an autonomous approach, ie child led. That means chatting about what he's watching, the news, family life, the weather...anything.

Mine is having a fallow phase friend-wise after having a set of friends at school. I think he has left them behind. I am trusting that he will one day spring up and announce he is taking up wrestling/dancing/something social.

Good luck with the placement, I haven't gone down that route (yet), but I hope it is helpful.

hi, thanks for your replies....StarkAnd Witches ..i will look at that book...Milou2.your 12 yr old does sound like my ds (HFA)..i think i need to find out about the autonomous approach as if i give him "work" he gets extremely stressed ,i do try and talk about things hes doing ect. but its like he wants everything to be his idea and he will talk over me ,ive just bought some good books history,animals ect. and left them around and he did pick them up to read and was very interested in them but if i were to sit with him and point things out he loses interest.It doesnt seem like the placement will take place now due to his name not being put forward and if i mention school he becomes extremely distressed.He goes to a gym class with young children but has no friends from it he just goes around by himself.

Lol at your lovely boy picking up the books you left around, but not liking you pointing out interesting stuff for him.

That sounds an awful lot like 'strewing' a concept Sandra Dodd likes to use a lot.

Google her name and allow a few hours for online surfing. There are lots of blogs and websites to play with. You may find that you find people describing exactly what you are doing at home and realise that you are already an expert!

Visiting a specialist school, possibly without your son, could be useful anyway, even if just to reassure you that home is best for the moment. I am biased towards HE, but very glad that there are lots of options I have not taken, but which are available!

milou2 ...ive been looking up autonomous HE and think i will give that a try,i think ive been under pressure to produce "work" to show LEA but i did tell them a couple of months ago not to come here anymore so perhaps i should try to relax things a little.
I just need to find somewhere ds can make some friends (understanding ones) its nice that you have supportive people around you.
Since i had my ds ive had to distance myself from most of my family/friends as they werent supportive.