Confused - where is the line drawn between personality type and ASD

[auntevil]

It was easy with DS1 - he was diagnosed with dyspraxia at a relatively early age, so we were aware of traits that might be seen. DS2 is a different kettle of fish. No physical difficulties. I have always thought that his personality is exactly the same DH. Single minded, driven, alpha male, rules obsessed, short fuse, perfectionist.
The more i lurk on SN board, the more i call my judgement into question. A paediatrician did refer him to CAMHS for behavioural issues (soiling at school), but CAMHS said he didn't meet their criteria as a physical cause had not been ruled out. his teacher has put him on SA - but more to bring his writing skills along.
I'm trying to work out in my head if i should be doing something more re some of his behavioural traits. How do you know what is just natural personality?

Just seen the advice from Agnesdipesto re MCHAT questionnaire. I've just done it and I don't know whether i feel better or not. Clearly warrants further investigation based on this, but still nagging doubts.

I guess it depends on how much it affects day to day life. If your DS2's behaviour causes significant problems then maybe best to get checked out. How old is your DS2

DS2 is 5. I don't know if it affects his life - I think that's the problem. A good example being today. He was playing football and the trainer playfully grabbed him so he couldn't get the ball - he had been playing really well due to his intense focus. DS didn't 'get' the playful bit and was distraught. It took a while for me to explain that it was a 'joke' as he had been playing so well. He couldn't understand why he was not given a free kick as those are the rules. He doesn't understand that type of humour, or why - particularly adults - don't follow the rules. He often lashes out in these type of situations in frustration.
Is that a problem for him? I don't know. Was that a problem for the trainer - no, he just got on with it. Did it disrupt the other players - no.

ASD is two main things - social clumsiness because we can't see people's body language or hear their tone of voice properly, and an extreme need for routine, predictability & rules. Outrage if rules aren't followed is very common indeed with us.

Plus a number of us have sensory issues that mean big challenges coping with the everyday sights, sounds, touch, taste, feeling, smell of the world around us in meaningful ways.

There are good test questionnaires to have a look at on the Cambridge-based Autism Research Centre website (easy to find online). They show the sorts of questions that the specialists ask when they are interviewing and assessing a child/adult.

Worth pondering.

Thanks Amberlight i will check out the website. I think my sitting on the fence is due to there being a few issues rather than a whole raft of issues. He doesn't have an overriding need for routine, but he does like to know what he is going to do that day. he does - as you say - have outrage if rules aren't followed. He seems to have the reverse of sensory issues. He has an extremely high threshold for pain, but has no particular issues with sights, sounds, touch, taste or smell - as far as i can tell.
SALT was a laugh. he didn't bother to talk to her, and she was being nice. He told me later that her games weren't interesting, and he had nothing much to say, so he didn't bother. That's his, and my DH's philosophy, if it doesn't benefit them, why bother.

Amberlight I did the Autism Research Centre, Cambridge test. Still leaves me sitting on the fence. His score was 13 - with a couple of questions unanswered as i didn't know whether to put yes or no. if i answered yes - it would have taken him to 15 - worth a follow up. if i answered no, he would have been 2 under the cut off point.
I think i will wait to see how school pans out. He is on SA and appears to be happy and coping with school. If any thing changes i might review the test. Thanks for the info.

The ARC test is a good one.

Ultimately it all comes down to whether they meet dsm criteria, perxonally i would follow mup witha Paed visit and IME Paeds wait and see with borderline children.

Both my Non ASD boys have eprsonality quirks that place them under the heading of traits; but the non ASD stuff is enough to mitigate and they would not meet DSM. I would say though as they age it seems to point to other related stuff: dyspraxia and ADD for ds2, maybe an OCD type of eprsonality for ds4.

As for where does personality end and ASD start i don't think there is a cut off point; what is personaility? it's as much brain physiology and genetics as ASD.

Oh and wrt to routines etc- there is no one asd tyoe, some people aren't very rouitne fixated or don;t show it externally. DS1 is insular AS (usually); ds3, more severe, quite the opposite: different presentations of the same lack of social understanding criteria.

I'm with you scary on the chalk and cheese DSs. DS1 dx dyspraxia - social butterfly with no sense of personal space, shutting up and letting anyone else have an opinion/conversation. DS2 is polar opposite. I suppose i am just trying to find out whether being insular is by choice, or whether there is anything else at play.
I think i always expected that i would just 'know' if there was something not quite right. My mum was a SN teacher and i grew up around children of all abilities.
My 2 nephews are so on the spectrum - but my SIL refuses to acknowledge any problems. This is affecting their education, but she always uses excuses to justify why their behaviour is normal. I just hope that i am not in the same 'denial' process - but he is coping well educationally, if a little immature in his writing skills, so i could just be worrying about nothing. parenting is a minefield!