DD1 was visited yesterday by the LD team nurse. He wants to do a Conners Rating scale for ADHD. Fine. But he said that he has to go into the school, to see if DD is the same at school as at home.
I said that I imagined she would be, because she is at church, she was at preschool, her statement reports all said the same thing, and she is attending a special school. 
But then I started worrying - perhaps it is just bad parenting. Perhaps the subtext of his words was that.
So I went into school today, and I asked the teacher 'how DD1's attention and concentration was'. I asked in a positive way, and the teacher almost grimaced with awkwardness. She tried to be really positive, but basically said that DD1 will only sit for a short time and needs a lot of prompting to do so, unless it is gluing or water, when she will sit for longer. She said that DD1 finds group sitting very hard, and finds it very hard to sit at assembly.
I told her what the LD Nurse had said, and I said that I was brought to tears by the home school book because it is so positive, which is lovely, but it made me wonder if DD1 should have been at MS afterall?
The teacher was so lovely, and said "Oh no, she is so right for here" - she needs special school.
So I said to her, if you were filling in the questionnaire, then, from what I have told you of her at home, would you think we would be saying the things, and she said that yes, we would be saying the same thing - can only concentrate with lots of prompting, if it is something she enjoys.
I left the school crying, because I get so wound up that I have made the wrong decisions, that I am simply a bad parent, that I am taking the easy way out and blaming her concentration skills on her disability.
But, the special school has 1:2/1:3 and often has additional helpers on top of that. And they still can't get her to sit still. So that is reassuring. But then it makes me sad in a different way.