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My daughter is being stubborn and non compliant at school, what can we do ???

5 replies

mummyloveslucy · 13/10/2010 18:58

Hi, my daughter is 5.5 and is in year 1. She has moderate learning difficulties and a speech problem. She seems to love school and has been doing very well until a few days ago.
The teacher says that she's non compliant and it took her 2 hours to write 1 line of coppied writing. When the teacher said she'd have to stay in at break to finnish her work, she wrote the second line within about 30 seconds. Hmm
The teacher says that she dosn't seem to do it to be naughty, she's always smiling and being polite but very stubborn at the same time.
My daughter did some brilliant work 2 days ago. She did some simple sums on her own and was given a sticker and a marble for the class pot. (When the pot is full of marbles, the class get a treat). After that though, she decided to sit back and do pretty much sod all for the rest of the day. Sad Her teacher said that positive re-enforcement dosn't seem to work with her and nor does keeping her in at break as she dosn't seem to mind.
I'm not sure what we can do about this. She is capable of far, far more than she's willing to do in class. She is also quite non compliant at home most of the time and everything seems to be an uphill struggle some days, then other days she's as sweet and helpful as anything. There dosn't appear to be any pattern in this either.
It's so frustrating after she's had such a good start. She's come home now and got out her paper and pens and has written lines and lines of random letters, just for fun. She just dosn't like being told what to do I think. Which isn't good at school.
I'd be really greatful of any sugestions. Smile

OP posts:
mummyloveslucy · 13/10/2010 19:32

bump

OP posts:
mariagoretti · 13/10/2010 19:47

I saw a nice trick on an ABA website. The idea is to give the dc extra practice on being obedient. I'm probably not reproducing it accurately, but it works like this for me.

Choose some tasks the child always complies with (varies between children). Arrange them in order of difficulty. Start with an easy one, praise, then the next, praise etc. Gets them softened up and ready to comply with your more major request (the one you actually wanted them to do). Eventually the amount of softening up you need to do slowly decreases, and the difficulty / disagreeableness of your major request can increase.

mummyloveslucy · 14/10/2010 19:17

Thank you. Smile sorry I didn't reply last evening, I was called in to work early. Angry

That does seem a good idea, I can see where it's comming from. It's worth a try at home.

She had a very good day today and I think I might have found the reason. She suffers from constipation, and hadn't been in several days. This morning she did one an elephant would be proud of. Shock

She seems to be back to her usual self now which is brilliant. I'm going to have to get her back on the movicol and hopefully that will sort it.
I will try that method at home, as she's always non compliant with me. Her teacher hadn't seen that side of her until recently. At least she has an idea of what she's like at home now. Wink

OP posts:
justaboutawinegumoholic · 14/10/2010 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummyloveslucy · 14/10/2010 20:07

Yes, I think that could work. Maybe she gave the marble away too easily. Grin Then my daughter thought, this is great, I'll sit back and relax now.

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