Should I apologise for my Dd ??

[Ineed2]

I asked a question about children not saying hello and goodbye the other day and had some great replies. I often feel awkward when people say Hello or goodbye to Dd3 and she ignores them. Yesterday there was a particularly difficult situation when we were leaving school and walking up the road near to another girl from her class. Dd3 sometimes refers to this girl as a friend. Anyway the girl reached her grandmothers car and called out " bye Dd3", Dd3 completly ignored her, the other child then called " see you tomorrow Dd3" which Dd3 also ignored. It was really awkward the grandmother just looked at us. I know Dd3 heard her, but I also understand that it is her right to choose who she talks. I just feel sometimes that I should apologise. AAHHH , I hate feeling like this and wish someone would dx her so that at least I would know for certain that she isn't just being rude!!

Sorry to be dim, but have you said to her 'Wave to your friend DD' or some such?
My son still needs reminding on occasion, usually if his concentration is on something else at the time, but he knows it's a social convention and when he forgets he appreciates a nudge.

Yes, and your not being dim, I always remind her, but she either growls at me or ignores me, yesterday she ran off up the gully when I tried to talk to her about how it is nice to say bye when someone says it to you.

I had a growler too.
Is she going through a dx at the moment?

I did a variety, either "DD1, say goodbye" or "Bye, bye x" repeated a couple of times, to give DD1 time to focus, or a cheery "Nope? Sorry, no goodbye today "

You don't need to apologise for her.

Hhhmmm ... goblin, we have been in the assessment process for more thatn 18 months. She is due to be seen by a new community pead in half term after hers left the area. She has now also been referred to camhs by the salt. The trouble is that school "don't see" any of her issues and so when the first pead sent them a questionairre it came back looking as though I was a raving munchhausens sufferer. I am almost certain she is somewhere on the spectrum and have started to be much more proactive in trying to get her a dx, but we will see.

Lougle... I do say that sometimes but the trouble is she is a really big 8 year old now and I kind of think I sound like I am babying her. Maybe I would feel better just saying something though, rather than madly searching for a hole to crawl into.

'Lougle... I do say that sometimes but the trouble is she is a really big 8 year old now'

Mine is 5'10" and a hairy 15.

Eventually, she will do it herself but until then you need to bang on about social conventions.

I still remind my son but he's getting the hang of it now. He'll make eye contact and speak of his own accord sometimes and always delighted with the result.

It's funny how he wants to be social, just hasn't a clue how to start...

Don't worry about sounding like you're babying her, you're not, you're helping her and giving the other person cues that she needs a little more time/understanding..

She got me again today, although this time it was funny and OK because we were with a really good friend.
We were crossing the car park at swimming and my friend called to her daughter, "come on hold hands" to which my Dd3 replied loudly and abruptly " we are holding hands".
of course my friend wanted her DD to hold her hand not my Dd's. Luckily my friend laughed and when I said " do I need to apologise for my Dd" she said "absolutly not".
I think she is realising that she needs to say what she means and not assume that Dd will understand her.
Thanx for all the advice, I will keep reminding her [until she's 15 if I have to goblin].
i am a bit down at the moment and sometimes little things can seem massive. I am recording everything ready for our next appointment so that I am prepared and can fight her corner.

Sorry to butt in with my own concerns but DD is 6 and does that too! It IS embarrasing when her little mates say Bye! and she puts her nose in the air and walks on....today about 4 or little boys went past on their way to after school football and every last one said "Bye!" to her an she ignred them all!

What is DX?

A dx is a diagnosis given by an expert or experts. In my son's case, he has a dx of Asperger's Syndrome.

Than you Goblin...