Argh!! made a fool of myself over the phone...

[genieinabottle]

I have left a note with teacher about asking for extra time at parents'evening to discuss DS's additional educational needs.
I also 'reminded' school that i would like to be told of when SALT goes in to see DS at school so i can have a chat with her afterwards.

So far so good, they have agreed to the above requests.

But i also wanted to speak to SALT (before she actually goes in mid-november) about my growing concerns that strategies are not being used because DS appears to be coping and school isn't giving me any feedback at all about his difficulties and what they are doing to met his needs.
And this where i did wrong.
I just was way too emotional on the phone, just couldn't help it.
All the worry and stress over the school issue for the past month, just came out and i was so close to bubbling on the phone.

SALT who has worked with DS twice a week during his year at the lang.unit knows him very well, and did agree from what i said that 'there seem to be some discrepencies between what DS is able to do and what teacher is writting on his communication book'.

I know she could hear and sense i was highly upset and she was trying to find explanations such as 'because of the autism DX, maybe teacher was expecting a child with a very different presentation, and of course DS is so passive so she thinks he is doing well'... i can see her point.

Anyway to get to the point, she said she will phone up the LSA who is supposed to be doing 1:1 with DS and will ask a few questions about strategies, IEP, get to the bottom of what support DS is getting.
She said she will go in to see teacher and see what teacher's understanding and opinion about DS's difficulties and needs are.
And she will get back to me before half-term with some info.

SALT was always lovely and one of the few professionals who actually did understand DS.
But i feel such an idiot with my emotional outburst to her.

Don't feel bad, I am sure your not the first or last parent to be emotional when talking about your child. I know only too well how difficult it is to get schools to understand that not all children with autism fit the mold they are expecting. You are very lucky to have such a a great salt, I am sure she won't think anything other than what a great and caring mum you are,

Hi Genie

We all get very emotional sometimes, even me and I have since gone onto develop a bloody thick skin these days!.

Please do not feel unduly embarrassed about you being upset - it shows you care very much and are concerned (and rightly so I might add). You did not do wrong and you are not an idiot!.

Quite apart from anything else you are best placed to fight his corner for him because no-one else will do this for him.

What has SALT said to you about a Statement, if anything that is?.

Keep us posted as to developments.

You didn't do wrong. You showed without words what the strain of your DS's current schooling is having on the wider family. That will speak volumes.

Thank you for kind words.

I still feel like i could have handled it better though, don't want to appear like an over-anxious mama.

Last July i tried discussing the statement issue' with SALT.
She was very much on the grounds that it will be up to school to see if he needs one.
She said atm, from what she could see with her understanding of DS, as long as recommended stategies were being used (ie: plenty of visual aids, small group work and 1:1 every week, work on SALT targets,...) then her opinion was atm he could do quite well on action+.
But that could change and she couldn't say when,...

But the things is they are not using the startegies and giving him support, not from where i'm standing, it's all very vague atm, so i hope SALT will be able to get to the bottom of it all.

Genie

I think your concerns with school are more than valid ones.

Re your comment:-
"Last July i tried discussing the statement issue' with SALT".

Good!

"She was very much on the grounds that it will be up to school to see if he needs one".

Hmmm to that. Its not up to school at all to see if he needs one.

"She said atm, from what she could see with her understanding of DS, as long as recommended stategies were being used (ie: plenty of visual aids, small group work and 1:1 every week, work on SALT targets,...) then her opinion was atm he could do quite well on action+.
But that could change and she couldn't say when,..."

He should not have to just do "quite well!" and they are already not implimenting her strategies. They both need a rocket up their backsides!.

I tell you now Genie, SA plus is really not worth the paper its written on as it is not legally binding and the goalposts can be too easily shifted.

Simply put though the ONLY way forward now is to obtain a Statement. I cannot go on about that enough (sorry). This will have SALT put into it, its the only surefire way of obtaining an amount of SALT provision.

Attila, i know you are right and i agree with you. I am really starting to see that action+ like you say isn't worth much and the support given can varie enormously and be hardly nothing.

But i'm so scared to go ahead with this when school nor EP is supportive of it.
DS may have a dx of autism and speech and lang.disorder, but his presentation is quite atypical and his difficulties not always obvious, i'm worried to be there on my own against the school, the LEA,...

I get tears, but I've long since stopped worrying about whether they make me look a fool. Just because I have tears doesn't mean I'm wrong........

Glad the phonecall was productive if a bit stressful for you. I cried at the school gates this morning !

Hi genie,

re your comment:-

"But i'm so scared to go ahead with this when school nor EP is supportive of it".

Have school told you outright they won't back you?. Why aren't they supportive?. What has EP said re a statement appl?. BTW the first EP I saw in preschool told me that she would refuse any application I made (nice eh?!); the EPs first words to me was ,"DS needs statementing". Do not therefore be put off by the no's.

The decision to assess or not rests with the LEA, not any of the above. You can see his difficulties, you're seeing that he's not really managing at school.

I do realise this (the junior school would never have supported any statement app I made because they said his SATS results were too good. LOL. This is also why I applied for it when DS was in reception) and I know how bloody scary it is, oh yes.

What school aren't doing here is truly helping your son and he is the most important person here at the end of the day. IIRC your son made good progress in that language unit.

Never forget that you are your child's best and only real advocate here.

This particular board is great, I only wish I had something like it years ago when I was going through the whole statementing saga.

the EPs first words to me in Infants (missed that bit out) was ,"DS needs statementing". Do not therefore be put off by the no's.

genie, don't be scared. You have nothing to lose. Consider it a learning programme.

You'll have to do it at some point so you may as well do it now. You can redo any unsuccessful attempts every 6 months if they agree to assess, or every day if they don't.

And, we'll all hold your hand.