I am sooooo depressed...

[StarkAndWitchesWillFindYou]

Got ds' IEP yesterday. The targets are SO unambitious and pointless. They aren't even bad they are horrific.

I have in my possession the next targets for ds, that he would have not only worked on, but ACHIEVED by half term on our ABA programme.

I have no evidence that ds has achieved anything so far at school, because all the professionals are refusing to fill in a professionals log book to say what they are working on.

And now to be presented with 3 unchallenging, BORING in fact targets, with no explanation of how they are to be met. Well, it says do turn taking at 9:50 every morning for 10 minutes, but not any strategies for getting ds to participate, let alone be interested.

I'm just in tears for the no. of weeks he has spent in that setting with such low expectations. HOW can they arrive at that, after 5 weeks, with 18.5 hours of additional professional support? How can they say (which they have) that any more than 3 vague targets would be unmanageable? They have the staff ffs.

I'll pull myself together. I have to. I ALWAYS have to.

But right now I'm gutted beyond compare...

Star, you're preaching to the converted here!

you meed to let ds fail with supposedly good provision - you've done the sttandardE fail. now he has to fail with allegedly the best that can be offered.

shit but true.

CO-OPERATE AND BE AS POSITIVE AS POSSIBLE

Yes I have been doing this until now. Just got a note back in ds' home school. Very assertive. Says wrt parents evening. Unfortunately we are unable to change the IEP proforma and will still keep the targets that we got from ds' statement. We will review these targets after half term and set new ones. Thank you.

No idea what they are one about, or how the targets are linked to the statement, nor why they thought we wanted to change their proforma or any explanation of any of it really.

It doesn't seem like we have any choice other than to go down the road you all seem to agree we take.

I don't know if I can do it. I'm utterly devestated. Will I ever forgive myself if I do? don't?

He shouldn't even need ABA in a year of so.........

Well we have still kept on our tutors for 4 afternoons a week. We were hoping to not have to fund them after Christmas but we could move them to mornings or find an afternoon nursery yes.

I'm a bit head in the sand about affordability but I would view it a temporary solution and aim to find a massively high paying flexible childcare friendly job when he is in full-time school to pay it off.

I can sympathise Star - i was advised by a good friend who has an AS DS - who after years of fighting got somewhere near adequate educational provision - to let the situation deteriorate and then 'go for the kill'. Maybe i have no stomach for it, but i decided against this and moved schools. I had had a year and a bit in MS primary, had done the nice supportive parent bit - but sometimes there is just not the will in schools to go the distance with any child that requires that little bit extra support. I'm not a public 'cryer', but DS teacher made me cry in anger - i knew that i would never be able to work in co-operation with this woman.
Nearly 2 years later in the new school and i have a 'different' DS. His skills improved so greatly after 2 terms that OT actually put in their assessment that it was like assessing a different child. I now have a much more positive attitude to his education - and hope. It's not a smooth ride always, but he has now had 3 different teachers and each time a problem arose, i spoke to the teacher, and together we devised a programme/solution.
It's a really difficult choice - and i don't envy you the decision.

Okay. Fab tutor has come up with an idea.

Keep ds in their provision for 3 mornings a week, put him in another setting for 2 mornings a week where we will pay for tutor to work with him on OUR targets.

Tribunal in March showing difference between settings and difference in IEPs.

So, the only question now is do I tell the nursery that there is another nursery racing them or do I keep that quiet?

(sorry, not decided on this approach or anything, just interested in exploring)

We are on the border of two counties so if we think information sharing is bad now, by puting him other setting we can guarantee the two don't talk to each other.

I have to say that although the letting the child strategy fail is a sound one, I could never go through with it myself. As you said, it is pretty high risk, and particularly at this age, the thought of my son regressing would break me.

We decided to keep him in a private nursery, which means an ABA person can go with him, and we don't have to contend with much interference from anyone else re this arrangement/ his IEPs etc. The nursery very much defer to his ABA supervisor and what she says gos!

Having said all this, we're looking at schools now, can't afford to go private and can't afford to keep up the ABA if funding is pulled, so for all my fire and brimstone there is every chance DS could end up with heartbreakingly inadequate provision and unless the ABA tutors fancy going pro bono there might not be a lot I can do about it

Sorry Star. I did wonder whether to post it. But I can see your effort going into making the provision better and then being a higher bar for you to jump. You can get evidence you can video aba staff doing social skills and show he responds. You can pick different targets eg they choose animals you pick something else and teach it quicker and better. It's not guaranteed you will win even with the evidence I know. I also know we didn't want to let DS fail and how hard that is. The only other plan would to be to find a school who is prepared to let aba come in. Most private nurseries still give you 15 hours free then might get tax credits or carers allowance let's you deduct childcare ie you can earn £100 per week plus tax, NI, and childcare the £100 is after childcare is taken off.Still the aba to pay for I know. If you carry on questioning everything they will use that against you - at least that's what happened to us they will say you have been rigid and difficult to work with and that's why their programme has been impeded. Sorry I know it's depressing. I can only tell you what happened to us. If they can do it it's worth pushing but if they can't standing back may be the better option. DS nursery has been nothing but babysitting for the past year and it was gutting to put him in there everytime. The system is disgusting.

No, it's okay Agnes. It is helpful to have all the perspectives.

Not decided yet what I'm going to do.

If 6 months of failing was going to secure him 10 years of quality education, I would probably do that, but 6 months of failing, when he's made so much progress over the last year, would feel like a complete waste of everything we have gained and our hard work, not to mention ds'.

I'll possibly contact some of the Cambian/Priory schools and see what/how I would plan for a placement in one of those, although we'd have to move because I'm not sure I could handle boarding. If we aim for those it could be worth the failing thing. (£160k per year, which might even be worth holding onto a small flat in Herts for the pure satisfaction that they would foot the bill)

Sad thing is though that our private EP said he should never even need one of those schools if his ABA could just continue for another 12-18 months.

But probably I'll investigate the split placement option, FWIW DS LOVES school and runs there every morning. It would break my heart to take him out completely.

No idea if the school would make a fuss and chuck us out if only getting 3 mornings a week funding though.

Another perspective: what is 'failing'? What's your worst case scenario for your ds if the current situation carries on? Will he regress, or just make progress less quickly?

The way I see it, he's still getting your home input and the school input sounds crap but not damaging (?) and I can't see how the current provision is failing your ds. It's not perfection but it's better than what 99% of children get, and he has the home support too.

I'm probably being dense, but I can't see that you're a bad parent for letting him stay at this school until you move hous and then hopefully the new school will be more co-operative about learning from you.

We ran the 2 approaches home and nursery side by side we were able to show a difference. We also could not bear for DS to fail so did what we could at home and did not help nor hinder their approach in nursery. It worked for DS because he does not learn anything that is not specifically taught so we could show we taught a skill and then he used it in nursery but that he had not used it before we taught it. So we could link the skills very definitely to specific programmes. I am sure being the data queen that you are you could get a good case together. Getting a nursery to back you on aba is crucial. The panel really wanted to hear about the differences in DS because of aba. If you have a nursery in your corner next time that would really strengthen your position. No-one was the least bit interested what we had to say they wanted to hear it from third parties and not aba people who they think are biased anyway. You can split the funding if it's pre school 15 hours. But will that mess up your statement does it say DS has to attend x hours?

It's a nursery Angus I don't know if the funding arrangements are splittable!?

Giveme I hear what you are saying, and I've probably invested too much in this, but my concern for ds, is not that he will regress, but stay static, that he will not make the progress necessary to enable him to begin next year with very minimal support, which they will provide regardless of whether he has made the progress required for that or not, given they were planning for him to attend Nursery with no 1:1 even this year.

To outline what I am gutted about:

a) We planned for what he would have achieved by now on our programme in the nursery. It is a million miles away from his IEP, which shows targets he has already mastered. This means he is massively underachieving.

b) Development in the early years can never be matched in pace during any other year. It takes months and months to redress a deficit in the teens that it would take in a week at nursery level.

c) His IEP could not be any less ambitious if he had NO support, so I am gutted that on top of his 15 hours attendance, he has 18.5 hours 'support', very hard won that cannot be adding any value.

My next question to the school will be exactly this last point. What would his IEP have looked like, had he not got 18.5 hours additional input, going by the original statement, and would they like to put in writing how the difference can be accounted for by 18.5 additional hours?

Given that all his reports say he is a fast learner.........

God I feel terrible about all this, and for being such a pita, but ds needs to progress at the rate that he can if he is to have any chance of accessing a mainstream education for the rest of his school life, which is something well within his grasp.

I do believe it can be stuffed up now and that this year is significant. In any case, just because I find a school that appears to be more cooperative before entry, doesn't mean they would be. How many schools do I have to go through? How many risks do I have to take with his education?

Is it the LA who won't let you in to teach the school or the school itself?
The SENCO at dd's school invited me in to teach the staff in Ks1 my methods purely because they have evidence (dd) that they work.
IEP's are written with my input addressing issues that we agree together.
As far as I am aware the school made the decision independently certainly I was asked and I went in there was no waiting for approval.

I don't know if you remember, but I found an independent preschool as well as another LEA preschool that both agreed to have our tutors in, until the LA heard about it and then told them both that we were implementing cruel practice, deluded and taking them to tribunal for over £100k which we would never in a million years win.

We were forced to home-school ds for just over a term and he has already missed opportunities to learn social interaction when he was ready even then.

I don't think it is the school. I believe it is the LA. But, though we didn't ask for it, we have been given a whole session a week of autism outreach, which is worse than useless, but problematically a direct link in with the LA.

Dd started nursery late and pt and then did pt hours in reception purely because I could progress her further and better than they could. Would that be an option?
I took her along to a pre school once a week and over saw the social interaction skills my self.Dd didn't lose out at all by the late and slow start. It sounds like ds is missing out by being in nursery though (sad).

Right. Here's what we are going to do.........

We have found two private nurseries willing to have our ABA tutor in. We will start by putting ds in for 2 sessions up until Christmas. The LA cannot do anything about it, because ds' statement says 15 hours in x setting. It will cost us around £400 in total.

We will show (apparently, acording to ds' tutor) that not only can he catch up and still meet his original targets that we set before losing the tribunal, having missed a whole half term, but he will do this in just 2 sessions a week.

She prefers me to choose the nursery that has nothing above a rating of 4 (inadequate). (hmm we'll see)

She is determined to show that in an inadequate setting, with her, ds can make more progress in 2 sessions and when he is tired, - than he can in 5 session at an outstanding school, with 18.5 additional hours of support with SALT and Autism Outreach. Quite determined.

But quite sadly I believe that she can.

At Christmas I will decide how to balance the 15 hours free provision. A law that came in in just Sept 10 means that school-based nurseries have to be flexible about placements and allow part-time.

In March I should have ample evidence for another tribunal, which I may do at low cost (no rep, no witnesses) just for fun.

Do I sound quite crazy?

You do about the Tribunal for fun, but nowt else!

Yes but crazy in a good way. You sound like you got your mojo back. Put your energy into what you can change and where you can succeed not into making their excuse for an education marginally better. Of course if you back off harrassing them to do more they will be seriously confused.

Just a thought would the indep nursery offer reduced fees if bring own staff? Could you appeal to their better nature?

Yeah, fair point about the tribunal. I can't afford to pay for every single tribunal I'll be going to over the next 18 years though.

I'll have to get an Ed Psych assessment and report, but I'd do that anyway.

Good point about the reduced fees. Not sure. They're open to it but a bit suspicious, so the reduced fee thing mught put them off.

Hmm, yeah. You might have a point.

When they turn up with their solicitor, their solicitor in training and their Head of SEN to observe plus 4 witnesses, if nothing else the judge will feel sorry for us.

back to depressed after TA scenario...