Hi I have name changed for this as don't want to give too much away as to myself. I have been using this site for a few years and reading this board but never feeling brave enough to post.
DD1 is 8 and has been struggling at school for a while she is now in year 4. We first noticed her struggle when she moved from reception year into year one. She spent months being really unsettled and not sleeping at night she became so pale and weak we contacted doctors they did usual blood tests e.g. anaemia, diabetes but they were inconclusive. She had two teachers one for her class and another for literacy and numeracy. They both echoed what we were thinking that she was falling further behind with school. We went back to gp and he phoned class teacher who then said dd1 was fine and we were just over protective and she had no behaviour issues etc. dd1 tries very hard to please and on the whole is not naughty but is more annoying with the silly noises she makes etc. Year 2 was same as year one so no problems for her.
Last year she moved to junior school and the pattern repeated not sleeping loosing friends pale skin again a whole round of inconclusive blood tests. We went back to gp again this time with list of our observations he said on their own they were not great worries but as a whole picture were quite alarming. We were referred to cahms who said she did not fit their remit so we should see a paed.
Paed appointment came and she made us feel stupid and over protective school senco was giving pretty much same opinion. We heard nothing for four weeks but I saw senco again and asked he used the memory test he had mentioned to see if it was a memory problem. I received a letter a few days later saying the memory test indicated a very definite difficulty with memory particularly with the central executive and the relief to know somebody finally believed us was immense. Two days later the paed phoned and said she had been relooking at our dd's notes and felt she needed to do some referrals but it was probably aspergers she has.
I have looked a little into aspergers and it does all fit:
15 hour sleeps as a baby
never cried as baby
never asked for food
never took food from the spoon unless you wiped it onto top of her mouth
makes friends but can't maintain relationship
doesn't cope with change
no organization
does not settle to sleep
not able to dress independently etc etc etc
but now I am scared 
I have gone from feeling we are stupid and like i was banging my head on a brick wall to scared how fast things are happening