A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

[MistsAndMellow]

All week after pre-school DS has wanted to be upstairs. This is a totally new thing.

Upstairs away from his toys and me and the television all afternoon. God knows what he does for so long. I go up every five minutes or so and can't see that he has done anything. It's harder to DS-proof the upstairs too because my daughter leaves things around. But he doesn't seem to be interested in her possessions.

DH actually went out and bought him a new Happy-land Farm which we were meaning to get for Christmas to no avail. He just wants to be upstairs.

It's sunnier there, granted. The sitting room is north-facing. But the kitchen where I am is sunny and it has been warm enough for DS to go into the garden but he is adamant about being upstairs for some reason.

DH says not to worry because like all dictators he is truly unfathomable but still...

Can anyone shed any light?

Oh that is really good to hear.

I didn't get that there is nothing upstairs for DS and what he was actually doing for 3-4 hours. It seems at long time for a three year old.

DH and I have gone out and bought different duvet covers for him to mess around with upstairs. One is "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" and it looks fantastic!

Doing nothing makes sense after a busy morning at pre-school.

2Shoes suggesting my thread title might be a good topic title also confused me, sorry 2shoes cross wires there.

I would put it down to sensory overload. Last year my DS (now 4) used to get changed from his nursery clothes and prefer to play in his room alone or just lie down biting his nails...

Now that he started school he still has the odd days when he would get changed and rush to his room briefly before he joins the rest of us.

Gently come closer to your son, if he lies down lie next to him, if he plays with something in no meaningful way join him so that you dont isolate the social aspect but also appreciate the fact that he needs winding down.

Thank you.

We are thinking about getting him a doll house which would be kept upstairs as an early Christmas present...

doll house is great but make sure you immediately model some imaginative play, like family is eating breakfast, bath time, bed time etc... Else he may get glued on just arranging the figures for no purpose, it was the mistake I made and took me quite some time to get him play properly with it.

Yes I do need to heed your advice because I've seen him playing with one at the local centre for children with disabilities and all he does is open and close the doors and move things up and down the stairs!

My own not so little despot often finds himself a quiet corner and just loses himself in quietly pushing his cars around or scribbling on something, after school. I think that time to decompress is very important for a lot of people on the spectrum.

DH and I are both a bit aspergery ourselves and both totally understand the feeling - we often go into our own quiet corners and barely even talk to each other, once the kids are in bed!

DS2 is the opposite, mind. He just comes home and carries on where he left off. He's quite often got books all over the floor before DS1's even finished on the toilet! His TA does see to it that he gets plenty of quiet time at school, though, so that probably helps.