omg! heart in the mouth moment...

[genieinabottle]

Walking back home from school DS (asd, nearly 5) was very hyper, jumping, making all sorts of loud noises,...he kept trying to run and hide behind garden walls and trees,... and i kept having to tell him to stop, hold on to DD's buggy handle (so i could push it and hold his wrist at the same time), he just wasn't listening and of course i had left the wrist reins at home.

Anyway, this boy who is his class was walking a bit in front of us and with his mum, started turning round and giggling at DS and pulling faces (not in a nsaty way, i think he was just trying to join in DS's 'fun') and of course DS got worse when he saw what the boy was doing.
Boy and mum sudenly crossed the road, and DS dashed after them.
Within a second i shouted at DS to stop, but he didn't and so very nearly got run over.

I crossed the road, and got hold of him finally, he just didn't see what was wrong and was still mega hyped up.
I could feel the looks of other parents.

This isn't the first time DS has legged it away from me. And that road is lethal, lots of traffic, narrow pavements and cars parking half on them and half on the road. (i even sent a letter to the council to complain before)

What can i do? if i take the reins he will have a tantrum and may refuse to walk. If i don't it's only a matter of time before it happens again, as when DD is with us , i can't push the buggy and control DS at the same time, especially when he is in one of his hyper moods and nothing/no one gets through to him.

Incidently, teacher who is back today, has written on his book that he had been restless and mentioned that he seemed tired.

phewww...got it off my chest.

I had similar terrible moment when collecting ds1 from holiday club. He is dropped off at train station and just slipped away from me as I was trying to manage him and bag and coat. He ran at full pelt into train station and along platform. It was absolutely terrifying. The worst bit was that whilst I was running after him people just watched even though I shouted to one or two people to stop him. They probably had no idea what was going on. I don't have any solutions but do symapthise. I am extra careful now, but still he is too old and too strong now (9 years) to be attached to me.

How scary! Glad nothing serious happened.

Does he hold onto the pram at all? I've trained managed t get DS2 to hold onto the pram by using the same phrase over and over again "Busy road, hold pram" and it works well most times.

DS2 is a runner, and many times I've been petrified alongside busy roads.

argh how terrifying.

We do masses of 'stop'/'walk nicely' training (!) with ds (4) but I don't feel 100% safe taking him and the buggy out on my own. I don't know what to suggest, it's a big issue for us too.

omg-are you ok?
im glad nothing serious happened.

i remember when my daughter was younger
we was near a main road one night and she threw a wobbler-and as i was trying to stop her getting in the road she dragged me into the road and i couldnt get her back.
by this time we was both on the floor with a car litterly about two foot from us.
how he didnt go over us i dont know-he had excellent breaks and brilliant driving-
he was only a young guy and i will never forget the horror on hes face!
thank god he wasnt going too fast on this road.

i think i shook for about two days.

anyway-
you say youre son doesnt like reigns-
have you tried a wriststrap instead?

is youre son interested/can understand any reward system?[a sticker for everytime he goes to and from school ok-then reward]

what are hes interests/obsessions?
is there anyway that you can use these to help with this?

btw-sod the others that stare at you-they dont matter.
we live in a very strange world-if youre child with sn "plays up"everyone gawps-
if you was getting mugged-a lot will look the other way!!

Oh you poor thing, it must have been so frightening.

If he won't consider reins, would he perhaps carry a back pack that you could attach a handle to? Maybe if you put something in it for him to carry?

We had one of these for ds1. In fact we still have it and 6 years later having used it for ds2 and dd is now using it. I know the backpack would probably be too small for him, but could you possibly use the handle part and attach it to a bag he did like? At least then if he did run you would still have hold of him so he couldn't get far.

We got ds to wear his by pointing out that all the 'big boys' (junior lads) had back-packs for going to school. He didn't really notice the handle part as we were careful not to put any tension on it unless he ran.

My sympathies, I to know what it's like to have a runner. I was going to suggest the same as moosemama. You could even loop a wrist strap through the handle of an ordinary rucksack but you do need a chest strap to stop him wriggling out of the bag. We got one for Dd3[8] from Decathlon but it might be too big, or try little treckers.
Whatever you decide, don't feel bad about the other parents, instead of looking at you maybe they would like to help you!!

Thanks for all your replies.

His behaviour and co-operation can depend so much with DS from day to day and even from hour to hour.
Sometimes he will walk nicely and hold the buggy handle, and go on and onnn... about the colours of the cars that pass us.
Other times (like today) when he is totally hyper, he will not hear anything we say, will not co-operate, it's like he can hear us and will be very implusive. And these are the times i really struggle to control him.

(why the hell can't he have one of these moments while at school! )

We have the wrist strap (sorry called it reins by mistake) and he hates it with a vengance. So the backpack with a line and a handle sounds good actually.

He does his run and disappearing act when we are in town and shopping too. Arghh!!!
We actually did lose him a few months ago in a multi-storey car park, and after searching everywhere and panicking we found him by a vending machine pressing all the buttons all happily, and with no care in the world.

Just noticed they do a slightly bigger daysack for children between 3 and 7 years. I don't think it has the rein, but it does have a chest strap and you could loop the rein through the handle here.

Both my boys now have Gelert daysacks, which we bought from Go Outdoors camping store. They were pretty cheap (less than a tenner) and look more like proper school backpacks iykwim. Both my 6 year old and 8 year old have them and are quite happy with them. They also have grab handles at the top that could be used to loop a rein through. Can't find the one my boys have on their website, but its similar to this one.

If he was willing to wear one. You could try letting him choose a backpack he likes then taking it into a shoe repair type shop and asking if they can sew/attach a d-ring firmly to it for clipping a rein onto. I'd never have thought of it until my Mum took me with her to get the strap on her favourite handbag fixed the other day. They fixed it really well and it only cost three pounds.

Thank you for the link and the tip Moosemama.

Could you try a buggy board? Watching with interest as I've got to think of a solution to the same problem soon - ds is 3.5, dd one yo. We're still using the phil&teds atm but I can't see him in it for much longer, and I haven't been brave enough to take them out without it yet!

So scary for you! Does he respond to 'If you do this, you can have that' type commands?

Ds does with certain things and if we have a day where he's playing up he has to hold the pushchair as we walk along, otherwise something will be taken away (normally time on the computer when we get home), but it's only very recently he can understand the concept

Our solution was to have dd in a fabric sling until age 3. I hardly used the buggy cos I needed my hands free. For any fellow sling bores, it was a reversible mai tai, napsack brand, and I used mostly back carries.

I think at 3.5 a buggy board is worth a try, as they are sort of sandwiched between your arms and the back of the buggy so have less chance of escape.

Alternatively, have you seen these buggy bikes. Maybe one of those and a backpack with handle combi -in case of impromptu dismounts - would be an option?

Thanks i will give the backpack a go i think, DS likes to wear hats, helmets and backpack around the house

A sling for DD is unfortunately not an option, she is such a big girlie and i'm on the small side with a bit of a dodgy back.

DS is getting the hang of doing things for a reward (depending on the reward ) but tbh when he is having one of his 'crazy chimp' moments he doesn't even seem to hear my voice anymore. He really get totally hyper, impulsive, uncooperative,... you get the idea.