Childcare for special needs - urgent help please!

[Eloise73]

I am so distraught right now I cannot stop crying. My daughter came back today from childminders with a 'bruise' on her thigh which the childminder asked my husband if she had it before she came. He said no, didn't think too much of it. Childminder then rang, out of the blue, to ask how DD was and made up some stuff for a reason to call. When it came to later changing her nappy our daughter screamed and ran into a corner terrified, we finally had to force them off and she very clearly has a cigarette burn on her thigh.

I cannot trust my childminder now, I am so upset I can hardly think straight, my husband is so furious there aren't words...and now i'm thinking how on earth are we going to find another childminder to take on an autistic child and what effect will this have on her having to start again?

But we cannot send her back, my heart is just breaking and wondering what on earth she has had to endure - I mean if my childminder can try to cover something this big up what little things don't we know about?

Have any of you struggled to find childcare for your ASD kids? Is there a special website I can go on that tells me which childminders don't mind taking on a special needs child?

A cigarette burn is very unlikely to be accidental. I think you should consider contacting the police about this. Burning a child with a cigarette is child abuse. I am a childminder so I don't feel very comfortable about saying all this because I know accidents do happens and I could be falsely accused at any time. However I don't think you should let something like this go. You could be accused of abuse yourself or she could be guilty of abuse and do something even more serious to another child.

Your pood DD!! What do you plan to do about this? Seriously, you must be thinking of police/ss? Also the childminder registration people?

I've heard of snap childcare - no personal recommendations but I do know they can find SN nannies.

I meant to say that a cigarette burn under ahr nappy is very unlikely to be accidental but no childminder should ever have a cigarette lit anywhere near a childminded child anyway.

Al1son, the thing is that even if a burn was accidental, wtf was the cm doing having anything that could possibly cause burns anywhere near a child when changing her nappy?? And ffs what kind of cm would even smoke while looking after a child, let alone changing her nappy?

(The 'ffs' wasn't aimed at you btw, don't mean to sound angry at you! I am just horrified by this)

x-posts

B&B I fully agree. If it was accidental it was negligent and breaks her conditions of registration. The thing is I would be very sceptical about it being accidental.

Thinking further through this Elouise I think you should take her to A&E because of the infection risk of a burn under her nappy as well as the child protection issues and the fact that she needs checking for other injuries.

on googling have found this website to search for childminders, you could put in special needs or autism as a key word on their search page:-

www.childcare.co.uk/advancedsearch

Agree with the other ladies. Sounds like at very best there has been dangerously negligent behaviour by the cm, agree with the others about reporting this to police and/or ofsted, or at the very least go to GP who may push you towards reporting this anyway.

You poor things - that is just awful. The others are right - you should contact the police and your DD should be seen by a doctor to confirm the injury. I know that is probably the last thing you and your DD need or want, but I think that if any charges are brought against your childminder or Ofsted are involved then there should be medical evidence of the injury.

How are you all doing now?

You have to report this it is child abuse. You LA should have a list of childminders that not only have places but that have experience in sn.

We rang NHS Direct for some advice on treating it and they were great, are sending a doctor round to see her as we said she would be very distressed if we had to wake her and take her to an emergency clinic, guaranteed meltdown really.

They also said social services would have to be involved. Its like a nightmare really :( DD is sleeping right now bless her. Thank goodness she prefers her left side for sleeping as she won't wake up in pain.

They asked us to take a photo of the burn. Have tried to ring my childminder but she's not answering.

Thank you for your suggestions and advice, really appreciate it. I feel calmer typing things out than talking about it with others, was blubbering away to my sister and friend.

where are you?? I had a wonderful one with DD1.
You have to report it please, I cant belive it. I would call them at local station and explain.
How long has she been at CM for??

we live in surrey near woking

There is a small black mark on her tights, feels a bit sticky. If I had to guess she probably backed into a cigarette but who knows, all I know is that it should not have happened and i'm so upset and furious that my childminder didn't say anything and pretended like it was no big deal :(

Flipping heck. Even if ('best' case scenario) she backed into a cigarette, wtf was the cm doing smoking around her (or letting someone else do so)?

But it still couldn't make sense - for a cigarette to go through tights and a nappy and to actually burn the skin it would have to be really prolonged contact.

I wouldn't try ringing your childminder again, except to tell her in the morning that you won't be using her again. If it was me, the next thing she'd be hearing from me would be a police visit for abuse.

Definitely take a picture.

I hope your dd is ok.

Ideally you should have taken DD to A&E asap as they have senior paedatricians (only registrars deal with child abuse and can easily recognise and photograph a cigarette burn) The GP is not an expert, but you are also thinking about DD. You must keep the clothing she was wearing in a (preferably paper) bag to preserve any cigarette ash as evidence. Social services will get involved I believe NHS Direct informed you they would make a referral? I work for NHSD and previously in A&E. The systems are very vigorous when it comes to child abuse, this may have not been a deliberate act, but at best it was an extremely negligent one. I think the police will inevitably be involved to establish what happened, so it may be useful for you and DH to write down what happened, when, what was said, when the call was made to the childminder and her excuse to you about the 'bruise'.

I'm glad someone is seeing her tonight. I agree that I wouldn't bother contacting the childminder. I don't think you owe her any courtesy as she did not deal appropriately with your child being injured in her care however it happened.

Really pleased to hear she's settled and asleep. I hope she doesn't continue to be scared of being changed.

I understand what you mean about typing is easier when you're emotional but having a good blub at times like this can help you too and most people are glad to listen. Having a child with SN is hard enough without you feeling guilty for trusting someone else to take care of them.

Hopefully SS will be able to advise you on the best way to identify suitable childcare for her in the future. Some chilminding networks have named childminders who are identified as being particularly appropriate for caring for children with SN.

I hope you get a sensible amount of sleep tonight.

Hope dd is sorted and I would second reporting it to the police as ss now involved or they will

DD had a good night thank God. We got some sleep although very restless.

I think the child protection services in Surrey are outstanding. After ringing NHS Direct for advice we had an after hours doctor come within an hour, a social worker ring us 10 minutes later and 2 police officers come round 30 minutes after that, everyone was brilliant.

A part of me still hoped the doctor would say it wasn't a burn from a cigarette but he said it more than likely was. :(

It's over now and DD wont have to go back, we took today off work and will ring around some nurseries to find a suitable placement, I don't think I can trust another childminder.

Thanks again for advice and support xx

We have two ASD kids and I think it varies.

DS3 attended a wonderful childminders where she has an older child herself who has AS; was a huge blessing, ds4 now attends and I can't priase her enough for her help.

DS1 otoh is aggressive and frankly I wouldn't trust ds in the care of someone who would have him around other chidlren, if that makes sense?

I found the CM by phoninga round, no other way I am afraid.

I'd love to an an ASD CM in the day, but our rental agreement says no.

Oh wrt to the burn it could have been an accident- I know my CM goes to aprks ewtc where soemone could have been smoking- but I remember coming home a few eyars ago to find a ciggarette ahd gone through my coat but it ahdn't touched me or anything else: it would have to be longer contact- I know its a bit unlikely but could she have sat on a discarded ciggarette at a aprk or anything (I relalise it proabbly wasnt that but it would be a nicer thought)

yea accidents can happen but think was the fact she never told you that would make my eyes go up and since under her nappy must been noticeable by the cm

Oh I agree and the CM would be reorted and disposed of

I do believe it was something that happened accidentally, my childminder would never do anything like that and I made sure the authorities knew this.

But however this happened it was because she wasn't being looked after properly and I think we have no choice but to put her in nursery now, it will be safer and will give us a bit more peace of mind. We are going to see a great nursery nearby which we'd been on a waiting list for and miraculously they can take her in a week's time for 2 full days, I don't work one day and DH has Friday afternoons off so we need to sort for 1.5 days but something will sort itself out.

It still feels so surreal at the moment and am still very upset and sad too. But DD is happy today and has only cried a couple of times because of her burn so we're grateful for that.

Hi Eloise,
I use a couple of agencies. I'm based in the NorthWest.
www.timebabysitting.com/
www.specialpeoplenorth.org.uk/

I believe Special People have a branch in the south as well. The carers are all experienced in SN and have special training. I have never had a minute's problem with anyone they have sent. My daughter is 12 and has autism. The advantage of using an agency is that if one carer leaves or isn't available, it's very easy to get another one.

I've heard of SNAP also. They seem to specialise more in nannies and au pairs.

Glad you've managed to find a nursery place so quickly

I hope you get the bottom of what happened. Have you been in contact with the childminder?