Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

School choice for NT sibling of 2 with ASD and one with SEN...

6 replies

SanctiMoanyArse · 07/10/2010 09:27

AS many of you know our school has been horrendous: argued that ds1 had no issues and then that they coudln;t teach him, tried to block statements with both, refused to put changing in place for ds3 even when staff would do it and it meant I had to crouch in a corner of a medical room to change him at 8.5 months pregnant, ds3 was sat at the back crying and ignored- etc.

Well, ds4 has reached nursery school application age (kids here attend a nursery class at their school) and I don't know which way to turn.

The Infants has a new Head who, whsilt having a rep for being ineffectivem, is someone I always got on with and liked and certainly is not the evil cow the old one was.

However, although the SENCO from old has gone part time, she is stil, on the premises, and the horrible teacher who shouted that 'your son (ds1) is unteachable' across a yard is still there (also PT).

OTOH, there is a nice schoolon the estate up the hill; i;ve been going to exercise class there and the facillities are great, dispalys etc seem much better and just more welcoming. Still faith based but not half as intense (it's not that we're anti faith, indeed quite the opposite, but old school was cancelling SN provision schemes to make way for extra church worship and buying faith ed equipment whilst getting the kids to read books ending (I jest not) with the 'hope that Daley Thompson will do well in the challenge of the 1988 olympics'...)

Thing is, the school will mean I need to drive rather than do a 2 minute rtoad hop; it will mean if I get back to work we cannot use our bloody amazing Cm as she picks up from the other (they have school wrap around but the CM hs been ours for eyars and is a good friend). It will mean I am dealing with four separate schools next eyar and combing in transport pick ups (ds3 in an SNU, ds1 maybe next eyar if not will need dropping off, ds2 can walk himself next eyar I think). DH will help when he can but is not always about and there is not anyone else. When the SNU pick up is on time (not often atm) it should be doable albeit with +++ stress, but...

Another factor is that I simply do not wish ds4 yto followe in the other's footsteps; I had to fight the school several times over, that pout people's backs up. DS2 and ds3 have good reputaions but ds1 categorically does not. All three have needed extra input to various extents (ds1- AS, half time statement, aggressive to an extreme; ds2, used to get reading help but school missed dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADD; ds3, school ignored a non verbal, non toilet trained child until forced to take action- ASD). Does ds4 have any SN? Don't know- nothing obvious but there are small signs with traits; I would say he ahs ASD traits but nothing diagnosable or of huge concern (so far).

The nursery placement is half time- mornings or afternoons- and in fairness both have good facillities. We get automatic admission to local school based on catchment and it's a very popular palce but .... useless when challenges rear their head.

So, WWYD?

Ta

OP posts:
AgnesDiPesto · 07/10/2010 11:46

We have similar dilemmas my gut feeling is that the logistics of different pick ups do become a real bind day in and day out so I would tend to say go for what makes your life easier especially as it's just nursery and not school age. However if your gut feeling is that you want Ds4 to have a fresh start you could find out if any cm pick up from the other school there is usually at least one parent who has become a cm in each nursery I would not go for a different school unless you had a parent or cm as back up it just adds extra stress.

BriocheDoree · 07/10/2010 12:17

We have two different schools as DD has just started a special unit. Although she gets a taxi it has a bad habit of arriving at exactly the same time as I have to go and pick up DS, so I have to rely on a set of other mums at the school to walk him part-way home. OTOH, DD is SOOOO much better off there. But that doesn't stop me feeling guilty about not being there to pick up my little one (he's only three!). I'm actually considering putting him in the same school for primary (age 6 - tho obviously in mainstream) as the pick up is causing me unnecessary stress ATM. OTOH you already have a bad feeling about the place I can see why you might want to wash your hands of it when DS1 leaves (did you ever get special place for him BTW?)

SanctiMoanyArse · 07/10/2010 13:34

We already have the taxi, but luckily as drop of is exact rime as school chucks out we have taxi drop off outside school (even though it took an argument with police ffs )

Have realised that next term I already have two clashing pick ups if ds1 is put into MS as well as taxi ... anyone got a chain saw I can borrow to cut myself in half?

Picking the nursery is same as picking a school as generally tehy feed in, and the nursery go into schol for assembly and other activities- in fact the reception / nursery class is merged at the other school (they just take small groups fo reception kids from the play environment for literacy etc).

OP posts:
mariagoretti · 07/10/2010 13:57

I would say it depends on mainly on logistics, ages, and admissions/ sibling preference rules. So presume better school's nursery doesn't guarantee sibling pref, so it's extra hassle for possible educational benefit but no long term strategic/ logistic gain. On the other hand, wd reception in the new & nicer school mean you could get dc 1&2 there in due course? (sounds from your post as though dc1 will be year 7 by then).

With 4 dc, IMHO, the fewer schools you need to deal with the better (i'm concerned in advance dc1 starting high school whether unit or MS with dc2 in year 5 & dc3 in reception... and we're some years away from that combo!)

SanctiMoanyArse · 07/10/2010 13:59

:pmg ter, as we're rural ish the schoosla re set out: ds4 is the youngest, and both schools feed into the comp; ds3 will go whereever can handle an ASD kid and LEA will fund; ds1 we will know about next month.

OP posts:
asdx2 · 07/10/2010 14:19

I sent my ASD kids to different schools to my NT kids because the local school had a very academic lean where the NT kids thrived but they were very rigid in their ideas and would have hated ds. Also dd1 is less than two years older than ds3 but has always felt responsible for him so would have taken on a caring role in school as well.Dd2 originally went to the school where ds3 went but I moved her when they didn't seem to realise that she was nothing like ds3 and the support which was very good for ds3 didn't work for dd2. At one point I had five kids in five schools which was doable with after school clubs and a neighbour's help now I have three in three schools and the two eldest are at work.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page