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Changing schools/ASD

10 replies

merrymouse · 05/10/2010 11:00

DS is having a terrible time at school. He is currently going part-time (this was our suggestion at the beginning of last year). The school have pre-diagnosed him with ASD (i.e. no official diagnosis yet), and he does get funding for 15 hours/week 1:1. (This is pre-statement funding that is specific to our LA where children have been identified by the school as having social communication difficulties). However, they seem unable to keep him in the classroom, or really allow him to associate with any other children when he is in school because of his behaviour. He is 6, but the staff seem constantly on edge around him.

He has been referred for assessment, but the initial assessor seems to have left the services of the borough under a cloud, and the clinical psychologist to whom he referred us doesn't want to see him as he has no problems at home. We are paying for OT.

Before joining reception he went to a pre-school for 2 years where, although they thought he had some sensory diffciulties and possibly dyslexia, he was able to take part in all activities and produce the same work as other children. I certainly never had reports of aggression towards other children.

At home, he is sensory seeking, sometimes a bit frustrating, sometimes isn't great at listening and is certainly somebody who beats to the tune of their own drum. However, he is not a difficult child. Most of the time he is a joy to be with.

Generally out bursts at school seem to be a complete surprise to the teacher. "It came out of no where!" I know that at home, if DS is unusually upset, there is always, always a reason.

Anyway, we have decided to move to a different area and have found a school that we think will be suitable. DS could probably start after Christmas.

Is there any downside to me just taking DS out of school tomorrow? I am studying at home and have exams next month, but really feel that I can't bare to be told yet again "He seemed to come into school unhappy - well grumpy is kind of normal for him anyway isn't it? He needs to understand how to behave in the classroom. Do you think you could explain to him blah de blah de blah".

The school agree that they can't cope with him, but is there any advantage to waiting for them to formalise this?

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merrymouse · 05/10/2010 11:01

I suppose by formalise I mean is it better to leave voluntarily or wait for your child to be asked to leave. I am thinking better to leave voluntarily, but want to check that there aren't other angles that I haven't considered.

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IndigoBell · 05/10/2010 12:13

Are you thinking of Home Educating him or moving him to another school?

Either way I can't see any problems with just telling school that today is his last day and he won't be coming back tomorrow.

But I'm not an expert in any of this....

merrymouse · 05/10/2010 12:16

Moving to another school but not till after Christmas.

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silverfrog · 05/10/2010 13:08

We took dd1 out of school last year, because we thought it was doing heed more harm than good.

She finished at old school end of half term, so 3rd week in Oct, and started at new school, although only part time, in December.

We were following a home programme (ABA) so were ready to use that if anyone muttered about not being educated.

We told the LA, as were nearly at the end of statwmenting. No one seemed to bat an eyelid, tbh.

Dd1 was then 5, but in yr1, so should clearly have been at school. We cited numerous reasons as to why school was detrimental to her well being, and that was that really.

merrymouse · 05/10/2010 13:11

thanks silverfrog, that is really helpful.

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silverfrog · 05/10/2010 13:14

We told them she had a place at new school, as well, and when she would be starting. I think since she was out of school for such a clear reason, and old school were clearly not meeting needs, then it wasn't an issue.

Hope all goes well for you

Ineed2 · 05/10/2010 13:18

You may have to de-register him with the LA and then re-register after xmas with the new school. I am not an expert but I know the LA like to know where children are if not in school.
If you are able to keep him at home then maybe this is your solution, but be mindful that if he does better at home it may be hard to get him back into school. I know if I kept Dd3 off for any legnth of time she would be very resistant to going back.
It's a shame that the school are unable/unwilling to meet his needs.
Good luck whatever you decideSmile.

merrymouse · 05/10/2010 18:22

I'm hoping to convince him that he has just started the Christmas holidays a month early Confused

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Spinkle · 05/10/2010 21:33

Sounds to me like your current school staff are literally scared of your little chap.

I got this with my DS. 'We can't see any triggers' they'd say. It took me going in, the SALT and the Advisory Teacher (SN) to tell them what his actual problems were. (mostly hearing sensory issues) It took a while but they seem to understand him better.

I'm still made to feel like they're doing me a massive favour by having him there though..

I think the extra time at home with mum will do your boy a world of good.

merrymouse · 06/10/2010 10:37

Thanks for everybody's input.

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