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How can I help DS2 understand how to make friends?

4 replies

OhLuckyYou · 05/10/2010 10:48

DS2 (6 1/2)has never really been interested in socialising with anyone, always chooses to play by himself in the playground. He was assessed last year for Aspergers but didn't quite fit the criteria at the time so I guess he's "borderline" ASD if that makes sense. He adores his older brother and they play well together (apart from the usual odd tantrum from DS2 about sharing etc) but he's never made any other friends. He's a very happy boy, enjoys school, and TBH I had kind of given up trying to help him make friends and just accepted that's the way he was.

However, we moved house (and school) during the holidays and DS2 has obviously seen DS1 making friends easily, getting invited on playdates etc and seems to have realised it's not happening to him. He just doesn't seem to "get" how to make friends - he said he'd like to invite a little girl from his class for a sleepover, but with gentle probing I realised he hasn't played with her, hasn't even really spoken to her. I tried to explain that he could start off by talking to her in class/playground, then if he likes her we could invite her round to play etc. He got very upset when I suggested she might not want to come for a sleepover when they haven't even played together at school, and when I said he ought to take it little by little. It just breaks my heart that he can't make friends (and now seems to want to) and I wonder if anyone knows of any books/stories that I could use to try to help him? I'm finding it quite hard to get to know the other mums too which isn't helping!! Sorry this is long!!

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wasuup3000 · 05/10/2010 11:20

Could the school help him? Do they have a buddy scheme at all?

OhLuckyYou · 05/10/2010 13:51

I will ask the school about a buddy scheme, good idea. At his old school they had a little "socialising" group which he attended - they played games etc to help them improve social skills. I was holding off a bit from talking to school because I wanted him to settle in and didn't want school to judge him IYSWIM

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StarlightMcKenzie · 06/10/2010 10:21

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OhLuckyYou · 06/10/2010 11:54

Thanks Starlight, I hadn't heard of this but just googled and there is loads of info on the NAS website. Not sure how helpful the school will be as the DCs have only just started this term so we are still getting to know how things work there, but fingers crossed!

We had a minor success yesterday - he has a wobbly tooth and told me all about how he was talking to one of his classmates about it - so at least I know he TALKS to some of his peers occasionally! Smile

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