If you could go back to when your SN life started

[ShadeofViolet]

and give yourself some advice, what would it be?

Not to doubt your instincts and to be more pushy.

You matter, don't loose yourself in everyone else's needs.

Be more pushy.

Have less respect for others feelings/difficult job etc, esp when they are insistant on telling you there is nothing wrong.
Worry less about dropping people in the proverbial when they haven't done their job.
Get every little thing in writing or make notes yourself.

find mumsnet before child turns 3

grow an extra few layers of skin - you'll need them to deal with all the pig ignorant people you will encounter on a day to day basis, and to be shameless in your shouting to get the services your child needs.

Embrace the madness

Oh, and have another baby really quickly

Concentrate on the here and now looking too far into the future is pointless and scary.

Don't be so bloody nice about everything.Don't ask,demand and keep demanding until it's done.

Grow a thick skin and have a stock of cutting remarks and use them. The people who judge haven't got a clue and so no right to comment.

If I can just borrow a few of the above...

Be a pushy PITA mum.

Don't be so bloody nice about everything.Don't ask,demand and keep demanding until it's done.

Write everything down.

... and my own;

don't put your head in the sand about finances because the SN is all you can cope with working on - it makes it a lot harder to sort in the long run.

The most important thing is to LOOK AFTER YOURSELF! Enjoy the good moments.
Cultivate thick skin, GSOH and persistance and save like mad before having children! Also good filing system.
Next be wary of the wait and see advice -look into early support and push for it. in fact be wary of most advice that could be code for the system wants to save money!

get to the hospital sooner, and maybe just maybe they could have got him out sooner and his brain damage would be less/non existant.

however hard it may be don't blame yourself!

win the lottery and invest in a crystal ball!

I wish i'd know that people would get jealous of my daughters DLA and that we have a motability vehicle (despite the fact she has quad CP and a life limiting illness).
Also that people would be jealous that i can't never mind don't work !

Then maybe i wouldn't feel and hurt on an almost daily basis when people make comments to me like ' it's alright for some, you get a free car' and 'at least you don't have to work, you get carers allowance for staying at home looking after your own child' !!!

If i'd known that from the start maybe 12 years on i wouldn't still be finding myself in shock by comments from both friends and family...maybe.

Hold your head high and don't listen to the people telling you 'all kids do that' or who give you parenting advice that spells out they think your child's behaviour is a result of bad parenting. Your child is autistic - you are right, listen to your instincts.

Don't hesitate in writing complaint letters and don't hold back when writing them.

Google mumsnet.

Tell the LEA you're going for special school and then 'change your mind' once statutory assessment has been approved....

Yes I know. But my son NEEDS a statement and doesn't have one.