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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

I have DS1's appointment today....

17 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/10/2010 08:01

And you know what I have lost the plot. I have to take DS2 with me and have no idea how I will keep him amused for 75 minutes!!

OP posts:

TheArsenicCupCake · 04/10/2010 08:30

Can no-one have ds2 for an hour at all?

Failing that take an emergency child entertainment bag.

Good luck x

BriocheDoree · 04/10/2010 08:46

I sympathise: I have had to do almost all of DD's appointments with DS in tow and, while he is NT, he's only three, and trying to listen to what the professionals are saying whilst trying to restrain/comfort/amuse a small child has been quite an ordeal on several occasions!! I remember one (a while ago, still a baby/toddler) where he got hungry. OMG that boy could shout when he put his mind to it. Trying to cope with that and have a sensible conversation about DD was quite a challenge.
DEFINITELY child entertainment bag. And small snacks if possible. I find that they can't make so much noise with a mouth full of raisins...

LIZS · 04/10/2010 08:52

You need childcare or at least someone with you who can take him out while you talk. Honestly you won't get the most out of the appointment otherwise.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/10/2010 08:54

I have nobody to come and nobody to have DS2 so I have to go it alone.

Emergency entertainment bag....fill me in what shall I put in it?

Gag,
restraints,
handcuffs
ball and chain,

OP posts:

auntevil · 04/10/2010 10:43

The last gastro Paed appt I had with 3 DSs - he made the nurse that sat in the appt. entertain the other 2. He then told her off when she couldn't keep them quiet! . Admittedly, they all had appt.s so had to be there - but like you, very rarely get any help to look after the others when only 1 has an appt.
Gaffer tape is a good one. they can play pulling it of each hand, getting it stuck to the other, repeat... and when they get bored with that it can double as gag and restraint!

woolytree · 04/10/2010 10:55

We took DS (1) to our appointment, sitter pulled out last min and DH wanted to attend...he headbutted the plastic kids chair within 5 min and screamed for ages. DH had to go outside with him. :( The next time I went in with DD and DH had DS....but DD wouldnt come through so the staff had to play with DD while I talked to the Doc...who kept closing the door for privacy...and DD kept opening it.

We take:

A packed lunch.
Wind up toys.
Colouring stuff.
DS...for DD.
A noisey music toy..for DS.
Spare clothes/wipes/pants.
Emergency snack....buscuit or sweetie!

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/10/2010 11:42

Just prepared DS1 for appt -- much harder than i thought it would be. He asked me "Will they help me feel like i am the same as everyone else mummy?"
Will they help me look in peoples eyes and see them rather than looking down?

Now i feelreally sad

OP posts:

TheArsenicCupCake · 04/10/2010 13:49

Not sure if you have done the appointment yet.. You may jolly well be on your way.

we have an emergency toy called " find it"
it's a tube that can't be opened and is pretty childproof . Filled with coloured beads and objects to find.. Keeps dc's busy for ages!

The answer to the sad question " will they make me feel normal"
is that he already is normal... Because no-one is normal.. And different is a good thing!
However these doctors will find out how to help with things he finds difficult..help is a good thing :)

redhappy · 04/10/2010 16:29

Oh LadyEvenStar that made me cry!

Hope all went well with the appointment. I always have to take dd with me to ds's appointments it's such a pain.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/10/2010 17:23

Hi well I am back and we survived lol.

Right basically what they said was they are referring DS1 for further assessment as he fills the criteria for such.

He is socially inept (?)not sure if that is the right word tbh
And although verbally he is well above his years he is unable to talk to others on par.

The Dr said he shows traits of ASD and that he, although he cannot class it as a formal diagnosis, is 90% sure he is ASD.

One of the things DS1 said to me this morning was that in school and at other peoples (my mums especially) houses he has to work hard to keep himself from exploding the way he does at home. but when he comes home he knows I won't laugh at him or tell him not to visit again so he lets loose basically.

When I told mum this she said "Well thats easy i won't have him anymore" and then ended the call.

OP posts:

TheArsenicCupCake · 04/10/2010 20:30

Glad you survived :)

:( that's pretty pants of your mum.. well when you know what is going on you'll be a le to give her some stratagies :)
took my dad a while to come round.. But now he and ds have a stratagy of digging the garden when things get too much :) ( dad did that all on his own.. Which I'm impressed with :)) .. So I'm passing those vibes on that you mum may come round.

Have you done the asq yet? ..

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/10/2010 21:02

TheArsenic, haven't done the ASQ yet, tbh am not sure what it is.
and if i am totally honest, i have been sitting here for weeks to find an easy explanation of what Aspergers atually is, but after weeks of doing so everything jumbles into one and I am none the wiser....god i sound thick now!!!

OP posts:

cornsilk · 04/10/2010 21:03

glad it went well

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/10/2010 21:19

orn, Thankyou...you don't know what it means to finally get some support!

OP posts:

TheArsenicCupCake · 04/10/2010 21:29

The asq thing is a questionaire with 40 yes no questions on it about your dc. Basically it's a pre runner before you get sent for an ados. ( well it was for us).

As for aspergers in brief it's the triad of impairments for autism.. But with an IQ higher than ( I think) 60.. Plus no language delays.
But what that actually may mean to your ds will be different from everyone elses dc with it... Although there are common issues they all face to different degrees.
Basically they have issues with communication, empathy, Theory of mind and imagination.. Can be clumsy and have sensory intergtation issues.. Although the two latter things aren't on the dx critiria.

woolytree · 04/10/2010 21:30

Glad it went well to. :)

I read lots of info about ASD...each explaination only gave be a tiny bit of DD but add it all together and I got an insight on DDs world.

Keep a behaviour diary, it helps clarify what is/isnt ASD behaviour and is usefull to docs/you.

BOOOO to your Mum! Shell come round. x

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 04/10/2010 21:54

one thing DS1 said -among many -was he can feel the difference in the way he behaves.
The way he described it is

"If you ask me to do something and I don't want to and I have a tantrum, i can stop it as quickly as it started but other times I can be sitting talking and something will make me upset/frustrated and I have a tantrum which I can't stop and then i get more in a state and it gets worse"

OP posts:

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