Oh dad!!

[lisad123isgoingcrazy]

My mum and dad have popped over so dad could go and look at possible new car with DH. Mum stayed here. Piles of clean washing on my side in the kitchin. Mum starts to fold it saying she cant believe it and i really should keep on top of it. Dad came back and told me I should sweep the front step as it looks terrible and then swept it for me. I was moaning to my mum about how I cant seem to get on top of it. Dad butted in "well we coped and there was 4 of you, your here all day", I replied "well yes but theres a lot going on right now, Im going though alot right now", his reply was.... "what are you going though, dont be silly"

Oh well least they helped a but

Bloody hell. Unbelievable.

big hugs coming your way...
and Im keeping my mouth shut cause if I get started my post may be 10 times the length of yours :S

by all mean rant away blueshark, you'll feel better

IME old folk tend to not remember very well the stresses and strains of dealing with family life/chores/childcare/looking after old parents.

Memory is a bit funny like that...

I''d get them round more often to help out or indeed leave dc with them for a bit and see how much they get done. That might, erm, jog their memory a bit!!

oh I will rather spare the others from some serious rant and I will very likely get upset about it while writing it :(

Of course, in their day, most dc with problems were put in homes and given v little education / input so many of that generation really don't have a clue about how you actually juggle a 'normal life' with bringing up a dc with extra needs. Cos they never saw it done.

oh poor you. They 'mean well' I'm sure. But they just can't get it, they've not had to live through it. It's just a bit of bluster coz they don't reallyknow what to say or how to help. We all know you're coping pretty darn good, and truth be known probably much better than they would have if they'd have been in your situation! My parents also still in denial really. My blog is a lot for them, to open their eyes as they're not here very much...
hugs x

I would have burst into tears at his insensitive remark and made him feel like a right sht. (Even if they were pretend tears, though they probably wouldnt have been) so he would still have felt like a right sht! What I think is that you forget how hard things really were - I look back on my ADHD son and think 'it wasnt that bad' forgetting I rang social services up and begged them to take him into care

i nearly did cry but just walked out instead

How insensitive.

My mam says that as well, "Well I coped with three of you and your dad worked away a lot". She fails to forget that none of her children are disabled and take up a lot of your time. She also fails to remember she had a live in maid who helped out with childcare a hell of a lot.

Yes funny, my mum also had 3 and dad worked away for 6 months at a time... Don't know how she managed, but then again no she didnt have any disabled children and her mum did live in the same small town! A mum's help with children possibly better than a husbands anyway, some might say ;)

Um... I know I'm a slattern but am I the only one who thought "well, at least the clothes are clean"?! It's good going considering you've got a lot on.
Should I be shamed by my dirty doorstep? It is only for stepping on after all...

Hugs for you either way OP :) x

and
Don't know what to say.
But sending you a big hug. x

Smile sweetly and thank them...but maybe remind them (sweetly) that they don't have a fucking clue what you have to deal with day-to-day?

Another big hug x

Sorry think case of open mouth put foot init with your parents I
bloody suprised your holding it all together so well and as for front door step lol can't remember last time mine was swept

yes, good point, have never swept a step in my life (I mean, outside, what's the point??!) - takes me weeks to get round to finding the hoover again for inside when it gets REALLY bad... and clean clothes, well done! Who cares where they are - wardrobes are overrated anyway I find. Spend most of my life taking clothes from upstairs to washer downstairs, then back upstairs again to put in wardrobes only to bring down again in morning for girls to put on.... it'd be much better if they just stayed downstairs!!!

Lisa, i think they were probably trying to "Jolly you up" as someone else said....older generations are funny beings at times!

my Dad had that attitude when kids where little we had a huge bust up as his attitude was that DS just needs a good hiding failed to see how far behind his younger sister he was,we started speaking again 5 years ago and what a difference in attitude he had towards him but DS had withdrawn into himself as well.Dad died 4 years ago and can't say I miss him. Mum however does my head in with what she says she understands how hard it is and tries to help but comes out with charmers like 'you've the patience of a saint' I really hate them as there's always someone worse off than us.

I did reply "least they are clean" [clean]

:)