Sensory Processing Disorder and very low self esteem

[loopymum34]

My 5 year old son has a SEN called Sensory Processing Disorder or Sensory Integration which has caused many behavioural issues but most worrying now is his low self esteem. He is so scared of doing anything he cannot do eg. reading especially or any homework. Trying to do anything turns into a nightmare where he looses his temper, hits, throws, sobbs etc. I am so scared of this vicious circle and him getting further behind which in turn which lower his self esteem! We have just endured a 2 hour episode (while his twin 2 year old sibblings had their nap) beacuse I said we had to do one bit of work either reading or some fun maths and then we would play or watch a film. He went mad and lost his temper firstly because he didn't want to do it, then beacuse he wrote a number 5 incorrectly (he spotted it, I hadn't said a word) and it just went to him trashing his bedroom, hitting etc. My hubby says I should have left it and let him watch telly if he didn't want to do it, I shouldn't push him.

Please advise if anyone has any startergies. I was/am an infant teacher and am really struggling as any stratergies I have tried (charts, stickers etc) are not working.
HELP we are now stuck in as have had to cancel friends as in the mood it could turn into a nightmare if he doesn;t get his own way with his friend or feels rubbish at something! Sorry for essay it is my first time on Mumsnet!

Big thanx

My ds has SPD which, like your son, has caused may behavioural issues, and very low self-esteem too. OT gave us lots of advice and strategies to deal with SPD and said hopefully it would lessen behavioural issues. She also said with those exercises, he will be calmer for a longer period of time and be more able to learn.

Basically, trampoline, lots of bouncing of balls, electric toothbrush, squeezing and massaging face, weighted thing around shoulder and on lap, to let him learn to 'crash'. Space hoppers are good too - to sit and bounce on, to hit him lightly around the body so that he gets sensory feedback.

Have you read 'The Out of Sync Child'? The book has some very good tips.

With ds's reluctance to do anywork etc. strategy being used is first he chooses something he likes doing, then you ask him to do the work you want him to and then you reward him. So far it has worked.

HTH

possibly they did- i tried to post on this thread an hour or so ago (have just ordered the book mentioned), and thanking the 2 of you for advice, but it hasn't registered... ,aybe same for op

Thank you sooooo much for you help, we have had OT and have all those things but I am not using them at the correct times I think. Your advice ladies is fab, I think being an Infant teacher is making me more anxious and having 2 year olds twins I seem sto struggle with fitting it in! I just started reading Out of Sync Child again last night and it really gave me a wake up call!!!
I also think I need to get more OT as now he is in Year 1 so much has changed in the 6 weeks since his last sessions! The school really know nothing about it and just think he's naughty or lazy!!
Thanx again ladies it is soooo reasurring to speak to someone else with it as I feel like no-one knows anything about this other than Prof Tanya Byron and his OT and I am useless as explaining it!

Have you thought of trying Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). It is a problem-focused type of intervention. Rather than an in-depth focus on past experience, cognitive behavioral therapy (or CBT) seeks to teach children to become their own therapist. This is done by helping the kids identify patterns of thinking, and identifying where and when those patterns get them into trouble and where they work well. Using problem solving strategies and skill building techniques the child, parent, and therapist work together to change dysfunctional thoughts and replace them with more proactive thoughts and behaviors.

www.kidsbehaviour.co.uk/CognitiveBehaviourTherapy.html

www.aboutourkids.org/articles/cognitive_behavior_therapy_cbt_what_it_how_does_it_work

I remember reading an article in a journal about how successful it has been. - Anxiety disorders are among the most common psychiatric problems experienced by children. Fortunately, child anxiety has an extensive treatment literature. Cognitive-behavioural treatment (CBT) is the best supported treatment for youths with anxiety, with over 25 published studies documenting positive effects.

Unless you address the problem at it's root cause, then there is no chance of improving his condition. Call me radical, but the cause of such 'distortions of sensory processing' are in the brain and so it is the brain which must be influenced.

There is a great deal of neuropsychological evidence that the cause of these problems lies with two structures in the brain, one which controls our 'sensory attention,' (the reticular activating system) and the other which acts as a 'switchboard,' directing incoming sensory information to the cortex for further processing and analysis. (This is the thalamus).

When these two structures are miss-tuned, several things can happen to the child's ability to perceive the world around him. He may become hyper-sensitive in one or more sensory modalities; - he may become hypo-sensitive, he may only be able to pay selective attention, sometimes seeming obsessed with specific sights, sounds, sensations; - he may have trouble screening out extraneous sights, sounds or sensations, experiencing all incoming sensory information simultaneously; - his sensory attention may be tuned inwardly and he may experience sensory distortions produced by his own system, much as a migraine sufferer experiences a visual display.

Obviously we behave in the world according to what we perceive and so each of these sensory distortions produces distorted behaviour.

The good news is that these two neural structures can be retrained, - retuned! This happens in healthy, uninjured people all the time as a matter of course, as our brain constantly re-adjusts it's functioning to the environment in which we find ourselves. Of course in our children who have neuro-developmental problems it takes a little more stimulation to retrain them, but it can be done by the construction of an adapted sensory environment.

If you want to read more about this then there is a book called, 'Brain Injured Children: - Tapping the Potential Within.' It can be purchased here. www.lulu.com/product/paperback/brain-injured-children---tapping-the-potential-within/10642919

It is also available through the Snowdrop website at www.snowdropcerebralpalsyandautism.com

DD used to be like this. She was dx with SPD at 4 and has had sensory therapy for 3 years. She is 'cured' now, well as much as she will be. Well, I suppose it is not so much a cure rather she has developed coping skills.

HI my DD has SPD among other things. She goes to the OT for an hour once a week and has two slots of 15 mins just before lessons twice a day with her TA. Made the world of difference. Sensory Diet is what she has quite complicated and I think some of the other people on this thread have basically explained what it is. But after a year she has made dramatic changes. It was very costly to us as we paid for the hour but the school provided the two sessions a day.

Homework, ahh the nightmare, we still have the violent outbursts but now only rarely. One thing that an expert said, although I can't rememember which one, "never do homework anywhere other than the same place everyday, and for the same amount of time" What that really meant was don't do it on holiday or at the weekend at Granny's house or in the morning instead of the evening. It's too much for them to take in and can end up in sensory overload.

So we do it at the same time every evening and for the same amount of time. Also never when they are hungry as that seems to be my DDs meltdown time. Now we tend to do it after dinner around 5.30/6pm and because it's coming up to the winter she is happy to do it. I find it really hard in the summer. We do about 15 mins of mathletics (very good for all ages and abilities) and 10 mins of spellings. Then after that she can read while I finish helpiner with her sisters homework (only 7 but already getting more homework than my 10 year old as they are at different schools with different expectations).

Plenty of warning, so when he is coming home from school explain that he can have an hour to play, then he will have his dinner, then 15 mins of homework, then if it's finished another half hour of play. Then gentle reminders ie finish your desert and then we will do your homework.

Also start on something that is way too easy for him to give him confidence. Introduce new concepts very slowly.

Knowing exactly how much they have to do ie one page of maths (or one section of mathletics) or 5 pages of a book works. Start small and build up. Also you would be surprised how many other parents have children who scream and shout when they have to do home work and they have no issues.

Good luck and as you can see we all have plenty of experience so do post any other questions you have and I'm sure someone will answer them.

Ds also has SPD and extremely low self esteem, he constantly feels he cannot do a thing right. Some suggestions i can think of.

1. Choices. Ds is very controlling and wants to control everything, if he feels out of control he becomes anxiety. I try to give ds choices, but i control the choices. For example do you want to do your maths or your reading first? Do you want to sit in this chair or that chair to do it? etc, etc.

1. Motivation. Whatever motivates your ds, is the reward for doing homework. Stickers dont mean a thing to ds either. For my ds his wii is his motivation. So if you read the agreed amount, you get to have x amount of time on the wii. (i dont use this for reading, as ds is obsessed with reading, but i use it for eating)

1. Consequences. This might not go down too well with some people, but it works for me. I do not tolerate hitting (he can scream, throw himself on the floor, punch the door, but dont hit others). If you hit you get sent to your room, if you want to trash it thats all well and good, but you will be cleaning it up, once you have calmed down. (ds is usually very passive, but he does have the occasional outburst)

1. When he is calm we write lists of all the things he is good at and all the things he is not so good at. I then write a list for myself of the things i am good/bad at. We talk about how it feels not to be good at something and how it is ok not to be good at everything. How i manage when i feel im not good at something or when i feel angry, anxious, sad etc, etc.

This is an interesting thread. My ds has been referred to OT as the pead thinks he may have sensory issues. I didn't realise that low self esteem was linked to it. Ds often gets upset if asked to do things he thinks he can't manage.