lots of minor concerns with school but no major ones wwyd?

[PolarEyes]

DS1 5.0 (dx with ASD) started mainstream primary school beginning of September. He has a statement which includes 25hrs of LSA.

Morning drop-offs have been difficult - when he went for his taster sessions he went in via the office so he felt going in via the main gate was "wrong". This was made worse by me having to collect him from the office at after lunch pick up (was told was too much work to open the gates jsut to let DS1 out). Morning system is DC are left at gate no parents allowed inside (is a TA on duty). The TA has been collecting DS1 from the gate, this week we have just reached the point of no tears, but still a bit like getting a horse in a horsebox.

He starts full days next week and his TA told me this morning that she wouldn't be collecting hm from the gate any more as her hours had changed so she'd be around in the afternoon. I came home and rang the SENCo and had a 20 min phonecall. I asked what I was supposed to do if he refused - I am to push him through the gate then he is the school's responsibility. If he doesn't go off to his classroom there are other adults on duty who will deal with him.

She said a few things like "all other autistic children I have dealt with have done this transition and it is has been fine". "every child in the school is special". "It is important he isn't singled out." "I am the lead specialist intervention teacher in the county".

The feedback from his class teacher has all been very negative - not settling, behaviour up and down. I only get feedback when she appears at drop-off (so far 3 times). The Specialist Teacher's asst who visits has been reporting the opposite. She doesn't actually spend any time with DS1 that I am aware of so is going on the feedback from his teacher.

Writing it down it all sounds like a non-issue but there is something I can't quite put my finger on that makes me think I have made a mistake in choosing this school (5 miles away that I drive him to).

I think I need to give it more time but am struggling with where to draw the line. The longer DS1 is there the more settled he will get. There is a TAC meeting planned for late November but tbh I don't trust any of those involved with it any more.

If you are having concerns about the school I would look at other options and see if there may be somewhere more suitable.

The Senco sounds awful and if he needs an addtional adult to take him in they should do that. That kind of sweeping comment about other children would really annoy me.

I think your concerns are justified. He needs a smooth transition into school in the morning and if he needs support to do this he should have it. He should arrive in the classroom in a fit state to learn, otherwise there's no point in him being there.

Does what they are doing comply with the wording of his statement? If not you need to remind them of this. They don't have a choice if it's in there.

"All children are special" - that is the one I get that winds me up the most. Yes all special children are special - but my child has special needs which you have to meet.

All I can say is at my prev school which was awful they said 'all children are special' - at my new school which is fantastic nothing is too much trouble for them. But what I can't tell you is how to tell whether a school is any good before you go there.

(Even my fantastic school did their best to put me off from applying. But once he joined it was a different story....)

What is so difficult about opening a gate?? If they can't make tiny adaptations, how are they going to cope with all the other issues that are going to come up? I would write the school a letter outlining your concerns and also saying what YOU think is necessary for your ds to settle into school. In the letter ask for a meeting to discuss the arrangements you have suggested / the problems outlined. I would also be questioning why the specialist teachers assistant isn't spending any time observing / supporting your ds. I think having a weekly meeting might also be a good idea, at least until things improve. My dd's teacher offered this right away and told me she had done this with another ASD child in her class. I also think that if you are not liking the feel of this school, you should start exploring others.

Thanks for your replies.

vjg13 - I looked at a few schools before choosing this one which is a big part of the problem really as the other options aren't seemingly any good for DS1.

Alison - I've checked over his statement and it does say they need to have consistent routines - which this is blatantly not. Quite what I do about it I don't know

Starlight - that phrase actually stopped me from crying as I was on the verge of tears before it. so tempted to respond with "ooooooooh get you" but I didn't. DH also pointed out DS will have to make his way to the hall for the gym club he goes to first thing. Who knows where he will end up! His class teacher is totally unapproachable - she is like it with anyone. She said something to another parent that when said parent told me I stood there like this . SENCo wants me to give him 2 weeks to adjust to the new gate saga but I have decided I am not prepared to push him in. I am bigging it up to him, but if he refuses I am not satisfied that they have an adequete provision to deal with him.

I think the statement says the hours can be deployed taking into account the school's resources and staffing so not sure I can insist.

Indigo - that phrase made me feel quite violent. I don't think DS1 is special, I think he is a fab kid who has ASD. Finding the right school is an utter nightmare isn't it. Glad things are going well at the new one for you.

Cansu- it was because they would have to get someone with keys to open it . He wasn't allowed in via the office in the morning due to H&S but this did not apply to picking him up again. That is the crux of it really, they are unwilling to make any adjustments at all. The assistant is just there to give the school advice. I spoke to her this afternoon and she says she comes away with ideas of advice to pass on to other schools as DS1's teacher and TA are so good.

She also told me they are using a buddy system with him, so some Y5/6 kids are correcting his behaviour at breaktime. E.g. not allowed on grass when wet, DS1 ran onto it they got him back. She seems to think this is really good, I am concerned if DS1 does lash out that it is really unfair on the children. Also in assembly he is now sat with the older children after he did a cartwheel in assembly.

I'm tempted to contact our village primary again, I ruled it out mostly on the size (huge intake) and also a lot of hte professionals involved with DS1 warned me off it (strictly off the record).

If you think they are not providing what he's entitled to in the statement you can write to the LEA to complain because your child has a legal right to this support. I'd approach the school first and if they refuse to makes the changes you think his statement entitles him to then tell them you'll write to the LEA.

Google IPSEA. They have info on their website and a helpline although it can take hours to get through.

I definately wouldn't rule out a school because it's big. The good school I moved to is a 3 form entry - and it means it has loads more expereince with SN, loads more experiencs of everything, and loads more resources.

However the professionals involved warning you off is obviously a cause for concern....

The thing that is the most infuriating is that the professionals do know which is the best school - and they're not allowed to tell you.

Maybe Parent Partnership or the ASD team will be able to tell you off the record which is the better school?

Al1son - I think I will write a letter in pointing it out to them - their response will probably be a good indicator of whether it is worth persisting with them or just move him.

I actually really liked our local school but DS1 really really does not cope with large amounts of people around.

Someone did tell me off record about another school but when I visited I wasn't that impressed. Plus we would never get DS2 in which has huge logistical problems (he is due to start next year).

I do really need to make a decision soon as the application for DS2's schooling will be out soon and I need to know what to put down. [head explodes]

Would DS2 not get sibling priority for wherever you chose for DS1?

I am 99% sure it is oversubscribed, and priority goes to children in the priority admissions area which we are not. Will the LEA tell me over the phone what the current waiting list is like? Though I think 2005 is a low birth year compared to DS2's so not sure I can really risk it.

Have another look at the admissions criteria for suitable loopholes. Something like 'exceptional social need as clearly demonstrated by a letter from a LA social worker' would get ds2 in.

Now DH is saying it is pointless moving him as it will disrupt him and we ruled out other schools for good reason. So now I don't see eye to eye with all the professionals involved nor my husband. sigh.

Do you know any parents of children with ASD who have been at this school longer?

No - but I was told (off-record) that the school's system for dealing with toileting accidents for another statemented child with ASD was to ring his mum to come and change him. so suspect she is more amenable than I am iykwim. DH thinks I have unrealistic expectations so maybe he is right? Dunno think I will see what Monday brings and hope DS1 skips happily through the gate into the playground.