Need help urgently - very worried

[midnightblues]

I am so worried and would really appreciate some advice.

My niece has never been diagnosed, but we believe she is on the autistic spectrum. She was diagnosed previously with ADHD. (The CAMHS team said she only had some traits for ASD, not enough for a diagnosis).

Her behaviour has recently spiralled out of control. She regularly leaves the house and goes missing for hours.

She has been self harming (cutting wrists, hurting her face etc) but we believe it's for attention as she shows friends the wounds, and even cut in front of her friends.

Even more worrying, she grabbed the car keys and started her mum's car yesterday.

She regularly screams for long periods, outside late at night (so suggesting attention seeking behaviour?).

My sister is at her wits end, she can't calm her dd down. Then the following morning, her dd acts as if nothing happened the previous evening.

She has recently started her periods, but even before this, her behaviour has been difficult for years, but nothing on this scale.

My sister is very worried that she will hurt herself badly, be a danger to herself.

She has an appointment with the local CAMHS team, but to be honest, they have never taken an interest before and my sister feels that they may be unhelpful again.

Is there anything else my sister can do?

Young minds might be useful for advice? www.youngminds.org.uk/

www.youngminds.org.uk/parents/im-concerned-about/self-injury

It may help for your sister to write a diary detailing every incident because sometimes it's hard to get across to CAMHS how often these things are happening.

She could also give your niece a book to write her thoughts in or perhaps start an email conversation with her.

My DD is 13 and has Asperger's syndrome.She can often say things in an email that she can't say face to face.

If your sister finds it hard to talk to her suggest she tries working shoulder to shoulder at something and then start up a conversation. This could be easier because she can concentrate on the words without the body language or facial expressions making it more complicated. She might like to suggest that the CAMHS practitioner does that too - they don't always think things through as well as they could.

HTH

I've known a few parents who have had an ADHD dx before receiving an ASD dx, so it's not uncommon. How old is your niece?

Your DSis should ask for her to be seen by the specialist ASD team. CAMHS are generally in charge of ASD dx for older children, but not all of the staff within CAMHS will be specialists in ASD.

What kind of behaviour does she display in school? It will be helpful if your Dsis can get something in writing from her teacher/SENCO, showing that she is being difficult in other situations apart from the home. If she attends any activity out of school, a letter from them can also be useful.

My step daughter has severe ADHD and is almost an adult, her dx was when she was in early teens. She spiralled out of control at the same age, she couldnt cope with her adhd and hormones. Running away, drinking, vandalism, a frightening accident, lots of school issues...it was a very hard time for the whole family. We used respite services through SS, tried lots of medication...shes still on them now, moved schools and eventually she went into residential care/charity supported (im not suggesting you need this). Im telling you this because after a long hard battle she is now living in her own flat, managing her own money, has a steady long term bf who understands her adhd, has started to drive and has just got promoted at work. She still has anger issues sometimes but is much more stable.

She always described 'feeling it coming' but could rarely remember the details after just 'lost it'. Being able to go to a quiet place always helped my step daughter and trying to drop the issue after. Lots of routines/rules, change in diet, responsibility/a job, rewards for good behaviour and someone outside the family to vent to. Not everything worked and Im not preeching just wanted to say what we did...your OP sounds sooo familiar.

Is she taking any medications for ADHD?
Does she have councelling? Any support at school? What makes you suspect ASD? Does she use forums to talk to others with ADHD her age?

Good luck with your appointment, I agree a diary is also great advice. HTH. x

Thanks for all of your messages - very interesting and useful. I haven't got much time to write today, but will pass this info onto my dsis. I will write more later about my niece, and answer your questions. Thanks for the support.