Does anyone get fed up with the constant criticism of their DCs?

[badkitty]

I mean by professionals - physio etc - not all of them by any means but certain people are really annoying me at the moment as it seems like everything DS does, he is criticised for doing it wrong or badly. Standing: wrong (his ankles are weak so his feet turn in). Crawling: wrong (he can do it properly but prefers to go fast and bunny hop). I look at him and think it is a miracle that he is doing these things at all. I know he doesn't do them perfectly - he has CP for god's sake! Yes he needs to improve but I sometimes come out of appointments feeling so deflated as all anyone focuses on is what he can't do or what he does wrong, and not give him any credit for the immense effort and determination it has taken him to get where he is. He is trying his best. I feel very defensive about it. Does anyone else get this sometimes?

Sorry I realise that all sounds very bitter, I am just annoyed that everyone doesn't seem to appreciate my amazing little boy quite as much as I feel they ought to!

I know how you feel - but remember they are trying to focus on the bad bits so they know what to work on.

It can be so hard, but as long as you remember all the good points thats all that matters :)

i know exactly how your feeling, my son has asd and poss adhd and everytime he plays with someone we cant stop but stare and think how proud we are that he is developing social skills. i only ever look at the positives in his life but it seems that school only ever focus on his negatives . actually got told once by the peadeatrician that there was another doctor who does something really unusaul and has really good results . i was intrigued and asked what she does and her reply was " she only focus's on the positives of the child" what a load of rubbish thats all i do every second , minute day , year. some people just havent a clue do they x

Yes - I often find my positive interpretations looked at in a strange way - I think professionals over estimate the extent to which parents are 'in denial' to use that awful expression and feel it is their duty to shoot everything down. Being positive does not mean you are not aware of the reality of your child's situation. Leonie - I think professionals like to control the agenda so if you are saying x, they will say y just for the sake of it.

it's all about how things are said though isn't it. You can say 'what areas need working on' rather than saying 'that's wrong' and a bit of praise does wonders for morale and enthusiasm for doing all the physio in the first place. If I had £1 for every time dd3s physio said 'fantastic/wonderful' in an appointment I'd be one rich lady this is just because dd3 has had a go at something, however well she does/doesn't do it! Funnily enough dd3 quite enjoys her physio sessions.

That's right bigcar - of course I understand that we need to identify the things he needs to work on, but it would just be nice for them to say that he's doing really well but to improve we need to do this, rather than being all doom and gloom about it. I don't know what he has to do to impress his physio sometimes, even when I went in all excited one week when he had learnt to stand up by himself she didn't even give him any praise. He doesn't enjoy his physio much at all!!

that's such a shame badkitty they can offer so much support by just using a few kind words. From over here it sounds like your ds is doing great

Thanks bigcar - of course i think he is a little star but I am a bit biased!