Ok enough is enough! Statement, MS School, desperately need advice please.

[shimmerysilverglitter]

Ok, have posted about ds before and had some great advice. He is HFA (7). Will try to keep this brief.

He has been in MS for 2 years now. He has 32 hours 1:1 provision, although he only had someone with him in mornings as they were unable to appoint anyone suitable for the afternoons . Most afternoons I would go in to find him on the computer, not doing anything. At his last statement review we requested a change of placement to an ABA school. We were refused on the basis that he is too high functioning for them.

Within MS so far this term, he has run away and been missing for 45 minutes on one particular day (we were not informed until afterwards) and I have called in twice for meltdowns. Towards the end of last term in desperation after he came home with a facial injury after being restrained I started to bring him home in the afternoons and having been refused a change of placement requested that this become a permanent arrangement (flexi schooling arrangement). The panel sat last week and agreed. However yesterday the school called me in and told me that they are not meeting his needs and we need to make a strong case once again for a change of placement. YES I KNOW!

My questions are, what now? I cannot and will not keep sending him into this environment for daily meltdowns, they are clearly unable to meet his needs and he is being restrained almost daily. Although the panel have just agreed to flexi schooling it is clear that this is NOT going to work, I purely suggested this to alleviate the current situation and because he did not get a change of placement. Am I able to appeal it and say basically "sorry things have changed, that is not going to work anymore". The school asked me to keep him off today (I was glad to, in fact I don't want to ever send him back again!) as they have a "difficult day going on today".

Please any advice welcome. Can you tell me about IPSEA, is this the kind of case they would help with? Things have come to crisis point and right now I cannot send ds back into that environment. Thanks for any help.

yes ipsea, sossen etc should be able to advise. You will be within the timeframe for appealing panels decision but as they gave what you asked for I don't really know where you would stand

the other option is that you call an emergency review, you can do this by putting it in writing to the LA. You should request who you want there and should specify you want this done within a certain timeframe.

have you rung your SEN caseworker at the LA yet? Do you have any idea where you would like ds to go, start ringing round alternate schools asking about places and for visits. Hope ds is ok

Thanks bigcar. Caseworker (who is pretty good, always keeps us bang up to date) is away on leave. So have rung the Manager of her department . Yes I know they have given me exactly what I asked for, that is what is worrying me. But the reason was pure desperation to get something to change iyswim? MS not right for him, too High Functioning for ABA school, totally caught between a rock and a hard place, feeling a bit desperate about that now. This was an early review already, can I can another one so quickly afterwards?

Yes there is one particular school we looked at and his SALT and OT who are both from there agreed it would be a good place for him but then at Panel it was decided he was too high functioning . I have been googling more and he would need to travel to them. Would that the best thing then to actually have some strong alternatives to tell them about? I am pretty clueless and not sure how far I can go in what I ask for for ds. All I know is this current situation just cannot continue.

Ok, well he used to get the 15 hours before his statement and the school paid for that. When he was awarded the 32 hours I was under the impression that ALL of that was paid for by the LEA. Is that not correct? Because if what you say is true then I am going to be spitting nails. Won't go off the bat just yet, will make sure all facts in place first.

Tbh Starlight (I was hoping to see you on here as you have given me great advice before) I just want him out. I honestly don't believe that MS is the right environment for him. I believe that 70/80% of his meltdowns come from his sensory issues and just a complete inability to cope in the MS environment. It is an inner city school and there always an awful lot going on, its a very shouty, loud kind of place. I think it just jabs and jabs at him till he can take no more and then he just goes off. He constantly goes off on Walkabout round the school alone and I think he does this to relieve his sensory overload.

I was furious when I heard he had been missing for 45 minutes and we had not been told. Apparently they tell me it takes four of them to restrain him. I just cannot have four grown adults restraining my 7 year old child, I can't allow it to continue.

It would be helpful to know where you would like him to go if you want the LA to move him. Transport would be arranged if it was to a school named on the Statement, but some people don't like the idea of a taxi taking their child each day.
The school should not ask you to keep your child at home because they have a difficult day. If they ask you to do it again you should ask them to make it an official exclusion because then they will have to put their reasons in writing. This would actually help you to prove that they cannot meet his needs. Did they ask you verbally? I would record who said it and when.
I know only too well the temptation to keep them at home. I have kept my son at home often, especially in the run up to Christmas, or at the end of the summer term, but that has been my choice.
A lot of people end up Home Educating when they reach the point you are at, but it is probably better to keep him in school if possible and go back to the lA and say it isn't working. Presumably the school don't think it is working either.

Cross posted here.
If four adults are restraining him you need to ask which training they have done. No one should be restraining him without proper training. When I did restraint training most of it involved two adults not four.I would make this an absolute priority.
No wonder you are unhappy.

Yes, the school have told me straight out that they are not meeting his needs and can't meet his needs. They want me to start making a fuss with the LEA, which I am only too willing to do now that I know I CAN. I think they would be 100% supportive of a move. I don't want to home school him, not because I disagree with homeschooling - it is something I was considering earlier this year and would love to do it - but because I honestly believe that he needs to go to school, there are some aspects of it he enjoys greatly and really benefits from but it needs to be the right plce.

They did ask me verbally and also said that from now on when he goes on his Walkabouts because it is so disruptive they will call me to bring him home. It would not be an official exclusion, but from what you say I am thinking that it would be better for it to actually be made official. I am already keeping diary of events.

it will definitely help to have some alternatives to ask for, at least you will have the confidence that the places you suggest are suitable rather than just cheap.

the school have said they can't meet his needs so no problem asking for a review. It'd be useful to have that in writing from the school, you could write yourself, this was my understanding of our conversation, am I correct. They will have to prove they can't meet his needs, but if they are at the stage of 4 people restraining your poor ds . . . just make sure you have a note of everything that happens and when.

did you find out where he was for those 45 minutes? If his safety was put at risk, could have got out of school, then you could consider making an official complaint, ofsted take things like that very seriously.

you can ask for whatever you like for your ds, don't think you can't. Doesn't mean you'll get it of course but it never hurts to ask.

As I understand it you are in a stronger position if he is in school to ask for a move to another school. I would ring IPSEA for advice.

Thanks, for all your replies, I have to go out now but will read them in detail later. Thanks again. Feeling a bit stronger about things.

shimmery, your situation sounds similar to the one DS was in at primary, left to sit on computer, not meeting his needs at all . I can totally understand why you just want him moved than try to push the school into fulfilling the statement properly.

You have a few options from here:

• transfer to another mainstream
• SN unit attached to a mainstream, if there is one in your county
• SN school (in your LA, in another LA, independent, day school, residential, ABA)
• split placement between a SN school and a mainstream
• home ed

Star has very good advice as usual. You do need to research very carefully all of your options and narrow it down to one school so you can focus your arguments clearly. Have a look at the NAS Services Directory where you'll be able to search for schools in your area (look at neighbouring LAs too). Then look at their websites and Ofsteds, which will give you clues about the peer group in the school, whether they can cope with the kind of behaviour your son exhibits, etc.

Do be proactive about getting in touch with the schools yourself, sending them the statement and any reports. Ask to visit and to discuss your DS' needs. If they don't think they can meet his needs, try to get them to put it in writing. I got an independent EP to visit the LA's choice of school and mine, and he appeared at a witness at tribunal. It made a huge difference to our case - but yes, it is expensive.

Why are you particularly keen on an ABA approach, has your DS followed an ABA programme at home? I know that it's very difficult to get ABA provision named if you haven't already been following a programme. Have you been in touch with the school directly and asked for their opinion on whether your DS is too high functioning? It's something you need to think about carefully - there will be many special schools which can offer an environment which will make your child less anxious, but if the peer group is much lower functioning and your child is bright, they won't be academically challenged enough or be able to socialise with similar children.

Hi, back now. Well in answer to some of the questions. I don't KNOW what is the best thing for ds. I don't KNOW if an ABA school is the best thing, I am desperately trying to find something that will work as what we are doing atm couldn't be further away from working. Everyone on here seems to know what their dc's need and I just don't, I read and read about autism and HFA but never seem to get any closer to what would work out best for ds.

I wish I could sit down with an expert and tell them all about ds and then they would say "ok, this is what is the best thing for him" because it feels as though it changes from one minute to the next. How do you all know so much about what your dc's need? I feel clueless most of the time. I know what he DOESN'T need, which is how things are now.

"there will be many special schools which can offer an environment which will make your child less anxious, but if the peer group is much lower functioning and your child is bright, they won't be academically challenged enough or be able to socialise with similar children."

You have hit the nail on the head sugarcandymonster When we went to the local special school we were interested in this was exactly what I thought but in my desperation to alleviate ds's current situation I just wanted it for him iyswim. Anything has to be better than what he is dealing with currently. They say he is too high functioning for them anyway.

Is it possible that there are just some children who won't fit in anywhere? Because I think my ds is one of them, nothing feels right for him, of all the options we have explored, none fit iyswim? He tells me he wants to home school and while not totally confident in my own ability and I think with work I could do it. I so scared of getting it wrong that I am paralysed by indecision and because of that still getting it wrong. I am failing him, I know I am, because I just don't know what to do for the best for him. It is constant conflicting messages, I have ex and family telling me he just needs discipline, school telling me they cannot meet his needs and no support whatsoever. Its all on me and I am messing it up I think.

Thanks for your responses, just being able to talk about it with people who get where I am coming from and have experience with this really helps.

It is bewildering. I expected my Ed Psych to sit down and give me a list of places but he wasn't really local enough to know the schools well. So it came down to reading a lot of Ofsted reports, going through their websites, calling the schools and visiting. The visits are the most important - you can see whether your child is likely to fit in with the children already there.

Children like ours are stuck in a bit of a difficult position where their academic ability is mainstream but their other needs require a special school. And there are also a few special schools which can meet high academic ability needs but can't cope with extreme meltdowns. Only a few schools were small enough not to be cause sensory overload, and be prepared to take someone with a history of quite destructive meltdowns, and offered qualifications up to full GCSE. So I found that it was a process of elimination, because it was hard to be offered a place anywhere.

It's a good idea to visit one of the schools that Star mentioned, even if you're not sure yet if you'd consider actually going (most are residential). But just going to visit will change your whole outlook on how a classroom/curriculum can be adapted in a way that suits HFA.

Thank you for your replies, only just got back to this. As have been doing a lot of thinking over the weekend. I did not send him to school for the rest of last week and I am not sending him tommorrow. After that though I haven't a clue.

Plan of action so far is to:

Call School tommorrow again to say he is not coming in and why
Call LA tell them why I am not sending him in
Contact IPSEA and any other organisation that can help

Not really sure what else can be done now. What will happen now, what do I need to say? In brief I am planning to say "I am not sending ds to school anymore due to 45 minute disappearance, the almost daily requirement to restrain him, they admit they can't meet his needs and am not going to keep putting him through this day after day. Basically all bets are off and I want his statement reviewed again. Even though it has only just been done. Things have imploded in the last few weeks and something ahas to be done" Obviously will be more articulate than that but that is the summary of it. Should I put all this in writing as well?

In the long term will be looking for schools and trying to find something that suits. All I know right now is that he cannot continue where he is, it is destroying him and I am not being dramatic saying that.

Any ideas what will happen next? Will EWO become involved? very worried about that kind of thing but I suppose it just has to be faced head on.

Thank you for all your wonderfully helpful info so far.

You need to know from adviceline if you can appeal the current stmt as that is going to be quickest route to tribunal which you may want as backup. Appeal won't stop any negotiations they can issue a second final statement any time. Have you thought about aba going into mainstream / home aba split? I am going to sound like an advertisement but if you are near one of their offices ring autism partnership Or other aba consultants who use aba for high functioning perhaps aba school you looked at could recommend aba consultant. AP have programmes for crisis situations and find out what it would cost to put a package in place. We will be in this boat for ds he is too bright for LD school and probably can't do mainstream TA option and have no autism schools within 50 miles. We are hoping for aba at home and aba support in mainstream. AP work in lots mainstream schools and if there are no special schools then you may need to bring the specialist support to you. It will probably be cheaper than the aba school you were looking at.

Thanks for replying. Haven't really looked into anything as yet, doing that this morning, just wanted to get him removed from the situation. Our local LA seem to be only interested in saving money so I foresee a bit of a fight on my hands. Thanks for your post it is good to know the possibilities, as I said before right now, I just don't know what I am even allowed to request but beginning to realise that you just have to develop a very thick skin and ask for what you want even if you feel it is outside the realms of possibility. They can only say No can't they?

Kept him off today, they have asked me to go in to discuss the situation. A bit shaky about that actually as I know I am going to have to go in and tell them what I think of their restraint techniques that leave my ds with facial injuries and his 45 minute disappearances.

Where do I stand legally on this please? Am I legally entitled to be keeping him out of school because of these incidents and who do I need to tell, can't get hold of my caseworker at the LEA. Thanks anyone who can help.

sorry, don't know where you stand legally. I kept dd3 out of school for 1.5 weeks last year because they weren't keeping her safe in my view (she could have got out of school), but this was nursery so not compulsory school age. What are parent partnership like where you are, if (and I say if as they may be too close to the LEA) they are any good they will come to the meeting with you and offer support and advice. Take someone with you for a bit of moral support, friend/relative anyway and ask them to take notes.

have you put a written complaint in yet about the disappearance and restaint techniques used and the resulting injuries? Do you know if they have trained in restraint on children? Put the ball in their court, ask them what they are going to do to ensure you dss saftey as he will not be returning until you are sure he will not be hurt/lost again. Not to do so constitutes neglect and you can take your complaint to Ofsted if this is the case. Ofsted take childrens safety very seriously and may be the school need reminding about their duty of care.

someone at the lea should be covering your caseworkers list if they are not available, speak to someone and get a representative to come along to the meeting if possible.

I know it's hard when you're not used to standing up to the school but it gets easier with practice

Thanks for replying, well he is still off. Went in, it wasn't an official meeting of any kind and I have agreed that he will go back and meet his new 1:1 next week.

Basically I am happyish for him to go back with big changes, no restraint (call me instead) and certainly no disappearing acts while we work towards a change of placement for him, so that is where it stands just now.

Now have to do ten tons of research and try to find the best solution for him.

BigCar Would you put all this in writing to the LEA then? I get the distinct impression that school are quite nervous about current situation and just want to get him back in ASAP, without too much fuss.

'I get the distinct impression that school are quite nervous about current situation and just want to get him back in ASAP, without too much fuss.'

that is exactly why I would be putting things on a formal basis in writing. Obviously my own circumstances with dd3 heavily influence my opinion on things like this and you have to do what you feel is best for your own circumstances.

to cut a long story short, dd3 was put in danger at school, we called an emergency review with the end result of school getting a right bollocking told off and dd3 getting the support and care she needs this year. It's not all been smooth, we are looking for an alternative placement but dd3 is so much better off now.

I know that other parents have got a note from their GP saying their child needs to be kept off school due to anxiety. That meant they avoided conflict with Education Welfare.

If the school are in agreement with keeping your son off then I would hope you won't have problems - I've also kept my son off school but it was always at the school's suggestion.

I would put something in writing to the LA to keep a paper trail and keep them up to date.

Agnes has a good point - when was his last statement issued? If it was within the past two months then you can appeal. Otherwise your other option is to request an emergency review - IPSEA model letter here. When was his last AR? You can now appeal against the decision not to change a statement after an AR.