It's not even October yet and the bullying is in full swing

[TheArsenicCupCake]

I have had enough.. it's the ripped clothes, damaged possessions, rumours, oh and trying to extort money.

School know, we are going down the whole bullying policy route.
It just doesn't seem to matter what school ds goes to.. He has pick on me stamped on his forehead.

Our children are so vulnerable aren't they?

I can always predict it at summer clubs as well. It's like the blimmin Serengeti - the wild cats circle the zebras with the gammy legs all day on the Monday, pick out their prey, and you can guarantee by the Tuesday morning ds will have been pounced on .

Hope school will be cooperative and help get this sorted. Your poor boy for you.

The hardest part, I found, was promising ds I'd get it sorted and he'd be safe, only to find that I didn't have that kind of influence. It was awful knowing I was letting him down and couldn't do anything about it.

Forgot to ask - how is he now he's home?

You poor thing and your poor DS. Hope someone with experience and advice will be along soon.

He's feeling it tbh.. But home is a sanctity and the stratagies we have in place for him are keeping things okay ish.

I am hoping the fact that he is on top of everything else being called ( sorry guys) a retard, a spaz.. Etc might hold some weight to get the school doing something.. We have a meeting tomorrow..

Trouble we have only just got him sorted out.

I would HE him.. But it totally isn't an option..

Bloody frustrating when you're working your socks off for your child and outside influences are undoing it all. Really feel for you both - you know we went through similar which is why we're in the position we're in now.

I'd suggest keeping him off school till the bullying is sorted but that just gives ammo to the perpetrators. It's a hard one to resolve.

Hope he hasn't got homework and can have the night off to chill a bit. Chocolate ice cream helps too .

Sancturary ( not sure what the phone did to that word lol)

right.. What I need is to know could a statement help and what should be in it.. School are supposed to be helping with social and communication skill in groups.. But this hasn't happened yet.
DS is still only on SA+ .. and barring the social issues is making progress.

Thanks streaky ..

No homework .. That the school has sorted out .. Homework does not come home.. Ds can't cope with home and school bring mixed up :o

the school are trying.. But it totally isn't working.

Not sure if a statement would help. Where I live they're not worth the paper they're written on.

Ideally the social groups should be provided at SA+ if he needs them (and it sounds as though he'd definitely benefit), but IMO you might still have a struggle to get the sessions with a statement. And he's got to manage in school until then anyway.

Does he have support available at school, someone he can go to if he's struggling?

The hard part for ds was coping when the others launched at him without warning - he just didn't know what to do and would lash out, hence he got the punishments and the bullies got the floor show they were looking for. It's difficult to tackle bullying like this without singling out the victim.

Glad about the homework - you've got to count your positives where you can find them .

Totally agree streaky!

Ds does have a named person, he is flagged with staff, he has an exit card.. etc etc.. But at the end of the day although these things are on place there are still nasty little rotters put there.. And it's great fun to watch ds react!

Ds's bullies used to do horrible things to him with a sweet smile on their faces, so that if anyone saw them they could claim they were 'playing nicely' - bastards!

They can be very devious and clever, can't they. And really hard for our kids to understand that someone can be so rotten when it looks as though they're being nice.

Sounds as though school have got a lot in place for him and maybe there's not much else they can do, although they should still be keeping an eye on the perpetrators and disciplining them. They need to be waving that bullying policy in their direction.

Arsenic

It's a fact that 'bullying policies' are not worth the paper they are written on.

What schools do pay attention to is a firm reminder of their duty of care towards your DS - in writing.

You need to ensure that you will hold them personally responsible for any damage caused to your DS by their failure to provide a safe and secure environment for him to learn in.

And if they ignore that you are perfectly entitled to call in teh Police to investigate.

If it happened outside school it would be assault. Just because it's in school doesn't be;ittle that and it's time that school remembered that.

As the mother of a DS who was bullied to the point of a complete breakdown mid-teens I know how bad it can be out there

Oh Arsenic . I totally know how you feel. Ds had harassment from a group of older bullies and then dh & I started getting it when we walked him home from school. Dh eventually was furious and saw HT and the issue was finally sorted a week before end of term! Still see the kids about and they are now abusive in the street - we are planning to move asap. Another child at Juniors has threatened to stab ds when he gets to high school. Constant picking on in class that teacher doesn't see even though 2 children have been taken out because of it. Our ds's are anxious enough without all this. I am just making as much fuss about it as possible so something might get done. Hope things improve for your ds.

Thanks :)

we went through all of this in the last school.. I'm just tired of it.. I'm going into school tomorrow armed ( with paperwork and letters)..
I'm a bit blaaaa about it tonight tbh..
I'll have my mum means business head on in the morning.

Honestly.. Our dc's have enough to deal with .. Without this rubbish on top of it.

How was today, Arsenic?

Ahh forgot to update.

One child has been removed from the school until next week.. One set of parents have been called in and their children have been warned about next steps.
Others involved have been warned off.

So a good result so far :)

And ds had a good day today < phew>

That's good. No doubt you're feeling relieved that some action has been taken.

What about your ds, how is he today? Does he feel that justice has been done?

He's okay.. Still a bit worried it will start up again.. But coping and much more relaxed tonight.

It's hard to keep his self esteem up .. But camhs are still on the scene.