upset with visit to dentist

[duytan]

hi a little long
so upset in July ds 5yrs CP had toothache while on holiday because we were there for 2 months and ds was in pain took him to dentist needed filling dentist was great but once he put needle in mouth we scared my ds would n't let second needle in mouth so he stopped.

Got back to UK and appointment was last week took him dentist explained to him he had a bad experince so I assumed he would be comforting said open your mouth to DS but he didnt afraid the dentist then spoke with a forceful and raised voice took of gloves and threw them in bin in a frustrated way and with a raised voice said he had all day after attempting to open ds mouth he then sent me out

I heard ds shouting and crying his eyes and the dentist shouting open your mouth. He then came out and told me that there was nothing he could do and he had behavior problems and for me to take him to my GP to be helped by Specialist for behavior

I was so surprised that after 5 - 10 minutes of meeting him he could come to that conclusion and not accept he is a 5 yrs old child with a phobie

Do you agree or should I accept he does have behavior problem

He doesn't have a behaviour problem he was frightened. If you ever take him back there he'll probably end up with a serious phobia affects him for the rest of his life.

That man should never be allowed to treat children.

You should go and see your GP and get him referred to your local community dentist. They deal with children with all sorts of SN and would do a much better job.

I think you should try to find a different dentist that specialises in children. See if they are willing to meet with you first (just for five mins) without DS and explain previous experiences. Then ask if you can book an extra long appt in order that the dentist can go v slowly.

Perhaps if you say in which area you live someone can recommend a dentist who is suitable for your ds.

Very stressful for you, I hope things work out well. I also suggest a bit of bribery for ds for "afterwards".

I second the community dentist suggestion (they also work with NT children who have serious phobias, so should be able to help with that too) - depending on if DS takes meds/how easy brushing is, they may be able to make suggestions.

thanks for suggestions I will try to find a better dentist
I told the dentist off and calmed him down and after comforting words he did open his mouth for the dentist to have a quick look I then told dentist if he had approahed with a comforting approach it wouldnt off led to this and thanks to him he had scared him even more

Good for you!

Ds goes to the community dentist, he has a phobia. They make hour long appointments and let him and look and touch the equipment. They also have a set of teeth where they demonstrate what they will do and let him have a turn too.

They also make as many appointments are needed before he feels safe enough to open his mouth. It took him 3 hourly appointments just to sit in the chair and they were great about it all.

We have a special needs dentist who is great. She is very patient, uses PECs if appropriate, lets kids visit for 2 mins and build up their confidence. She would NEVER shout at a child. You should be able to get access to a SN dentist via GP, HV or local parent info worker or equivalent.

Ask for a referral to a paediatric dentist, and ask that your ds's special needs be specified on the referral letter.
We had a very positive experience; I could not believe how well behaved DS was with the dentist, but then she was wonderful with him, and the room (and the waiting room) were all kitted out and tailored to children.
tbh from your description it sounds like the first dentist you met had behaviour problems...

i would agree with the community dentist, ours is fab!
ds has lovely healthy teeth but unfortunately had his front tooth chipped at Conductive Education (they forgot to hold his head!) and we originally went to the dentist at the childrens hospital who did it under anaesthetic as a day case....ds grids his teeth and the filling only lasted a few weeks !

after that we found a local community dentist who is just lovely, she is very patient and soothing and she drilled away a wee bit of decay that had accumulated on it and filled it....without an anaesthetic! ...in and out within an hour!