Please tell me what your ASD pre-schooler was like

[Eloise73]

I'm really struggling this weekend, I just want to go hide under my duvet and cry for a few hours.

DD is almost 3 and has autism. This weekend has been so hard. She whinges almost non-stop because we cannot understand her, she gets so angry or frustrated after a few minutes of doing anything, hardly eating anything, constantly doing naughty things and having a huge tantrum when we say 'no', throwing things and just to make things super special she has now started hitting herself and headbutted our very large tropical fish tank twice which has scared dh so much he says we need to sell it asap before she hurts herself and/or tips it over.

On good days my dd's smile lights up a room, she is so funny and happy and social, loves meeting new people, sings, dances and runs around frolicking and being almost NT (whatever that is at 2!). But lately she's leaning more towards behaviour like this weekend and its just breaking my heart. I see her frustration and her confusion and its so hard not being able yet to get through to her. To see her hitting herself...there aren't words :(

Please can those of you who know what i'm talking about, who have gone through this, come and tell me how your kids are now and how you got through this. I would love to hear some positive stories please because right now i'm just feeling so down about everything. Thank you

Huge hugs Eloise73.

Sadly no one can predict with certainty what our dc with autism will be like a few years down the line. They are all so different and yet similar in some ways.

At nearly 3, DS was verbal (if you can call it that) he had maybe about 40 single words. Most of his communication was done through hand-dragging, pointing which he had mastered at about 2.5 y, and lots of noises.
He tantrumed a lot out of frustration and non-understanding of what was going on and we often didn't know why.
He was a smiley happy boy (still is) as long as left to do his own things/play.
Trouble was when we wanted to do something with him.

Now the positive stuff, he is 'properly' verbal, but still has delayed speech and language.
But language/communication and interaction has improved a lot between age 4 and now.
Some days are good, some days not so good.
His awareness and understanding of his environment has definately improved.

Hope you feel better soon. Take care. xx

Similar to genieinabottle. My DS had maybe 30 words at 3.5. Lots and lots of anger. Headbutting concrete and walls. No pointing. Didn't really play. Periods of great sadness and confusion for him (and us!)but also a happy little sausage at other times.

I took some advice from a dear friend of mine (now sadly no longer with us) who had a lad with ASD. She said to address specific problems specifically.

And we did. Paid for a SALT (worth his weight in gold). Pushed for NHS SALT and IEP, statement. Showed him if you SAID the word 'ice cream' you got it - he could see no reason for language at all otherwise. We taught him how to play.

He's now 6. He can make up sentences, sings, explain himself, makes eye contact and initiates conversation (not just 'exchanges') and even jokes. Much calmer though we still have bad days.

I'm convinced fish oils have helped a bit too.

I know how you're feeling. Write down her specific issues and tackle one at a time - otherwise it seems unsurmountable. You will need nerves of steel and plenty of energy so take care of you and dh.

PLenty of great advice on this board.

I got hold of a checklist for sensory issues from a book by Olga Bogdashina (Sensory Issues n AS and ASD). Loads of questions to answer but gave me a great picture as to where my DS was in terms of sensitivities. Turns out it's his hearing - which is explains his auditory processing problems and speech and language issues.

Again - another weapon to help you to piece together the jigsaw of ASD in you little one.

DD2 is going though the dx for ASD atm and she was 3 last week. On a good day she is funny, quiet doing her own things and very sweet. On days that are bad she schreeches all day, throws things, hits people, throws herself around, jumps off everything, bites and there is no talking to her. She has quite a few words although SALT things she hasnt as many as we believe as she has alot of filler words rather than names for objects. When we cant get what she wants it causes no end of stress for both of us :(

I dont have any advice but didnt want you to feel alone hope tomorrow is better for youx

Hugs Eloise. How much helpare you getting from the professional side? Will your DD be going to any autism/SALT led units for nursery?

I can remember DS2 being very hard between the age of 2 and 4. He didn't talk until he was 3 1/2, never pointed and just used to lose it every half an hour or so. He went to an ASD assessment unit that was attached to an ASD school and I felt that helped greatly.

Someone on here told me that that was the worst age and that it will get better. I didn't believe them. But you know what, they were right! DS2 is 5 now, and so much easir to deal with. He isn't an angel, but his behaviour has got easier. Almost as if he has grown into his autism.

You have to remember as well, that as well as having an ASD, your DD is also still a toddler and not all her behaviour will be ASD related. Threengers are notoriously grumpy and whiney.

at 3 my ds was mute, showed no interest in anything or anybody. Cruel as this sounds, he was just kind of there.
He ahd no desire to interact with anyone or anything or communicate in any way shape or form. He never indicated when he was tired, hungry or thirsty etc.
He is 8 now and verbal, still quiet and shy but sociable on his terms with a very definate personality all of his own.

It is impossible to predice but when you ar ehaving bad days please don't hink it will be the same forever.

Ds at nearly three (moderate autism) had no words, hadn't yet mastered the hand leading and spent the days screaming, hitting, throwing and climbing.It was an horrendous time and didn't improve for a long time tbh.
Now he is 15 he has normal speech although chooses not to speak a lot of the time and he is lovely and probably more endearing than the average teen tbh.
Dd at nearly three had around 30 words she was passive in the extreme so she sat where you put her and wouldn't move until you encouraged her to move.
Now at seven (moderate to severe autism) she has a love of life, she finds everything interesting, she has opinions on everything and she wants to be in the middle of it all.

Thank you all for your posts, I really have appreciated reading them and seeing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! This is definetely hard to see when you're having a bad day. Today she has been the complete opposite...its such a rollercoaster!!

5inthebed We have been on a waiting list for MONTHS for SALT so once we had the diagnosis we rang Mugsy (NAS Surrey branch) and they put us in touch with Gina Davies who is BRILLIANT! She ran a very helpful workshop for parents and she's come over to us a couple of times to teach us intensive interaction. Plus our DD will be starting at the Little Group nursery soon for 2 sessions a week and that will be lots of speech therapy so we're hoping that will help her communication come along. Am preparing myself for a fight on getting more sessions funded.