Struggling single mum to one child with autism and one with ADD

[mscc]

Hi, I'm new to Mumsnet, just came across the special needs section when I googled special needs buggy!
I'm 26 and single mum to Nathan 6 who has severe ADD and Ryan 3 who has Autism (non verbal)
I can't believe how hard it is somedays. Trying to balance their needs with working is a total nightmare!!
Just thought I'd say hi really and I will check out the site properly when I have more than 2 minutes to myself!!!

Hi mscc

I'm sure you'll get a lot of support here. I'm also a single mum - to a son with autism (11). Are you getting DLA? Any support with the kids? Is the dad around?

Hi and welcome!

Hope you find lots of support here.

I get higher care rate for my little boy with autism but they turned him down for mobility and am appealing for my son with severe ADD (almost at independant tribunal stage!)
I'm waiting for a referal to the children with disabilities social work team for Ryan as don't have much support at all but after reading the initial assessment I'm having second thoughts on having a social worker as the assessment was so judgemental-mentioned things like my son was clean and appropriately dressed and my house was clean, tidy and well decorated. It just annoyed me that they commented on these things when I just wanted some support for him as he is getting harder and harder to cop with!

Hi mscc and welcome to MN, you have come to the rite place . I have 2 dd's, one with Aspergers and one with ASD.

Hey mscc. SW reports are always like that. They have to show evidence for any conclusion they come to, not allowed to have a 'gut feeling' that you're ok or not. So if they're trying to say they think your kids are well looked after, they list a load of stuff. Like clean and tidy kids, comfortable sofas, age appropriate toys. So it basically sounds like your SW is trying to say s/he thinks you're doing a good job.

The real danger for families with SN is if soc services start believing that lack of a recent bath means a dc is neglected, or absence of the usual type of toys indicates a lack of love... when it might mean that less visible but far more important needs had been the parent's priority.

Yep, my SS report had something very similar. I took it as mariagoretti said.

Apologies for asking questions then having to dash last night.

SW described my house as 'fairly clean' and 'somewhat bohemian' - so you're doing very well!

Maybe try for mobility when your son's 4? And surely you're entitled to a few hours respite. Good luck!

Hi Welcome to the SN board, its a lovely informative and supportive place.:)

Im not a single Mum but DH works 70+ hours a week so I do most stuff with the kids on my own. We have DD, nearly 5 just started school, recent verbal dx ASD...waiting for full report and DS, 1, so far NT. My stepdaughter has ADHD but shes nearly 18 and doesnt live with us.

If your new read the Acronyms bit above...it explains all the DD,DS,DH,DP...we dont normally mention any kids names so we can remain anonymous....although I have done it by accident before!