Those vibrating alarm thingies...

[treedelivery]

..hello. I have a dd who has no sn, but does have chronic constipation. Usual meds and usual horrible side effects and crap that goes with it.

She's 5 and in yr 1 at school. So I can't get her to drink enough, there aren't enough hours before and after school. School can't remind her as there are 30 of the little critters running around. DD1 can't remember as she is 5. Her dietician says aim for 800mls a day, litre if possibe. It isn't.

Her meds, imo, are maxed out. Anymore movicol/senna/lactulose and she just loses continence. That's hardly better than appetite suppresion and lethergy when you're 5 and trying to get into your school groove. Poor Dd.

Soooo. I think there is some product or other, that you clip to their belt and it can be set to vibrate? I wondered what you all thought about that. And where to get one?

Is this overkill? Good idea? I'm asking here because I bet you will know. Will know if I am being too precious. And will certainly know where to get one and what they are called.

Thank you very much for reading, and apologies for crashing the topic

Ok. Duly noted.

Seeing teacher tomorrow for mini parents evenng. Got 10 mins to make my pitch. I went in especially at the start of term as she was subject to some teasing, so at least some time has elapsed since then.

Justa, can't you and starlightMcKenzie go?

We have and do put far too much on dd, who is a very responsible braniac and sort of just absorbs it. Along wth stress. Fits in nicely with constipated personality type, so says my mum.

Right. I'm on it. Shoulders back, head up.

I might not bother mentioning I think she should go throught the reading levels faster. Maybe next time.

I need to channel StarlightMcKenzie. That is the key.

You need to study law asap, and become a barrister. You'd be top banana.

for you Justa. How tedious and painful. Were they kntting nice bonnets when they were saying all this? Fluffy health professionals give me the willies, so I magine fluffy education professionals are the same.

I think everyone suffers from the same sort of stuff. My mate can't get her dd's dyslexia taken seriously as she is performing well at school. I think my dd1 is so good, easy, no problemo that no one can see how there are serious problems. She just doesn't let her belly ache come in the way of her concentration.

I'll read this thread before I go, and try to channel remind myself of how to be clear. Thank you so much! I hadn't realised how wishy washy I was being. How annoying of me! Will slap face with wet fish.
Will let you know how it goes.

Justa - what's the way forwards for you, after the meeting?

DD has just told me about getting in trouble with a playground person for taking too long in the toilet. It was last year.

Don't feel in the least bit sheepish of making our points anymore.

Like the child wants to spend her precious playtime squatting on a loo seat going purple from pushing, and wondering how much it will hurt and if she'll be able to wipe her bottom well enough to not be sat in poo all day.

Thanks books. I will get in touch about your niece. That's very kind of you.

I need to get tomorrow out of the way first, then I can focus. I feel really sad and upset for her, and so guilty I could actually vomit. This is all my fault, if I acted when she was 1-2 yo she'd be sorted now. I didn't, and she sat and pushed, often for an hour or more, nearly every 3rd day ever bloody since. We normalised it and let it go on. It wasn't until we moved to a 3 storey house with steep stairs, and she couldn't get up them without getting tired, we realised how lethargic and low she was. In other words, until it affected me.

Fuck.

Apologies for the rant and the swear.
This thread doesn't even belong in SN, but I knew someone would know about the vibrating thingie.

Apologies for intruding

Oh Tree, I'm so sorry. I missed this thread on Sunday.

Can't agree more with what others have said. Dd has an established medical need to drink frequently throughout the day and spend as long in the toilet, as often as she needs to.

The school have a duty of care to your dd. Yes they are busy, yes they have other children with different problems to deal with, but that in no way diminishes their responsibility to your little girl.

You know me - it has taken me a looong time to grow the pair I needed to go and kick butt at the poor excuse for a school my dses are at. I am only now starting to understand that it really doesn't matter what they think of me, whether they think I am a pushy overbearing mother or a helicopter parent, it really doesn't matter. What matters is ds getting the support he needs. And yes at three weeks into the new school year - his teacher does already roll her eyes when she sees me approaching.

I would definitely raise it with the teacher again and back it up in writing. I make a point of giving them everything in writing now. Having already written a letter I tend to tell the teacher about whatever it is, then hand her the envelope and say "I wrote it all down in this note - just in case I didn't manage to catch-up with you."

We have had a tiny experience of what you go through with dd with ds2 this week, so I really feel for you. Ds's teacher spoke with me at the beginning of the day, I explained how he had been to see the emergency gp and had a really distended abdomen due to a bowel impaction, but that they had passed him fit for school. I explained how important it was for him to drink regularly and that the meds wouldn't work properly unless he did and that if he needed to go to the toilet, please could he be excused straight away. I also gave her a note to make sure she understood. She was very sympathetic and said all the right things. YET he still came home with a full water bottle and none of his lunch drink gone. He told me that he had left his bottle in his book bag, which was at the bottom of the book-bag box under all the other bags so he couldn't get to it. Apparently his teacher didn't remind him to drink once all day. It has been the same story every day since then.

Good luck tomorrow. You know where to find me if you need to let off steam.

You are not intruding Tree. This is an open forum where anyone can come and ask for help and others can offer advice and support if they want to and think they can help.

Have just come to re-read the thread and channel StarlightMcKenze before school pickup and meeting.

DD1 must have done a few kilos of poo last night and this morning. Lfe is about poo at the moment.

I have a headache. I can't have a headache. I need to kick ass be on my game.

Evening.

Thanks Justa - it went ok. I think! I told dd's tale of getting in trouble for taking too long in the loo. The teacher said she would inform staff that dd has a medical condition.
I said about the water, how we are struggling to get the volume into dd, and how she needs to take in a large amount at school. I went into how much this affects her life, and I think the teacher had not really realised that before. So that's really good. The teacher has said she will remind dd after carpet times etc.

So...we shall see. I am happy on the whole, I think there is a real probability that they simply hadn't grasped how significant this was. So we'll see. However, I won't be as soft as I have been, I won't let it ride. I'll expect to hear from dd that she has been reminded. I have also resolved that instead of questioning her, I will ask the teacher how the reminding thing is going in one week.
If there is any sign of anyone not being too sure, than I'll ask for another meeting and maybe set some target amounts. Say 500mls.

I did find myself slipping into vauge, please-read-my-mind mode but I remembered all the advice here and was more direct and hopefully, easier to understand.

I'd already seen the teacher about an issue to do with friendships at the begining of term, and the teacher had some reassuring things to say and had looked into it for me. So I think all the signs are good and I can leave my pfb in her care.

So thank you. I'm feeling much better about it. Even if it doesn't work well this time, I feel I have routes forward. Hopefully won't need them though!

Have had some codeine for my head so am gently drifting....of.......wheeeeeee

Blimey that was long! Sorry

I'd love to mate, but I'm quite high on drugs codeine.

Peace out.

Besides, I only have 1 10 min appointment under my belt. Not really qualified in battling inequalities in education and health just yet. Have high hopes mind you

Will read when I land back on planet earth. Hopefully minus my headache.

Well done Tree.

You did much better than I did with ds1's teacher today.

Oh blimey missed your reply Starlight.

I imagine the first difficulty with law is that there is no justice. No winnign and loosing. Just suffering, and people who suffer. That would be hard. But boy, if you couldn't change the world Starlight, I bet you could really change the reality for any children who came your way.

If you can do it. Do it. Seriously, I think you have found your path here.

Weeeel. I came to update. And to have my mn balls polished.

I have done what someone above said I would, questioned dd every day in a manic type way.
So far we have one memory of being reminded to drink
She's a bright cookie and takes this stuff seriously, she would be proud and remember if she had drank more.

The dietician said she couldn't offer anything in writing to support us. To be fair dd1 is not her patient. So I think I will a) Have another chat with teacher. Will also back this up with a little letter to teacher too. b) Go to GP and see if they will provide some written evidence of how important this is. c) Try her consultant if not. d) Present this to teacher.

Whadyathink?

Word of advice. GPs really really hate wasting time writing stupid letters to stupid sodding schools who should b**y well take the parents word for things. So acknowledge that before asking for the note!

When ds needed dr support to use the loo in lesson time, I asked our lovely GP for a quick printout of the consultation record she made. Obviously far less complex than your dc's needs but all done & dusted within a 10 min appt (and we got his ADHD meds while there!).

Thanks mariagoretti.

It's a bloody farce we have to do this letter writing proof thing. Like I'd make up her need for fluids for a laaarf.
Where's the joke? I see no joke.

Will approach GP with caution and much tugging of forelock