Any advice from ASD/ADHD mums please

[tiredmummyneedswineandsleep]

Hi I am mum to DS 3.1. Consultant thinks he is on the Autistic Spectrum and has ADHD- I agree but although he has written to pre-school to say he should be treated as if he has a diagnosis he hasn't officially been diagnosed.
I am a single mum and he doesn't see his dad any more who is a bully- police and solicitor etc were involved.
I am at my wits end with him. I adore him but I'm struggling to cope. He is literally on the go from minute he gets up to min he falls asleep. Right now he's kicking he bedroom walls. He constantly climbs, is violent to me- headbutts, kicks, hits, slaps and laughs as he does so. I try hard to take him to nice places but he seems to ruin it e.g running off, screaming. When I take him to soft play he just wants to take the ride on toys up into the soft play bit eg ball pits, up slides etc which obviously isnt allowed but I just cant get it into him not to. He runs all round place crashing into peeople etc..
I don't seem to get a minutes peace. By the time he is asleep i'm too knackered to do anything. There's no one to really have him if I want a break as my parents are quite elderly and not in good health. He is at nursery when I'm at work and they wanted 1:1 but there's no funding in LEA.
I am so low and tired that I often wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.
Consultant asked health visitor to refer me for Webster Stratton parenting course but there are none in area.
Does anyone have any day to day survival tips or advice please? I am at my wits end. I am sick of it all. Whenever we do go anywhere I feel stressed by him and am fed up of people having a go at me/him because of his behaviour. I do love DS to bits just don't like his behaviour at times but realise he can't really help it.

yes that's the one. it will be the 2nd tuesday of december between 10-12. ds loves going there and i've loved it too. are you in gloucester too?how old is your ds?

we're in cheltenham but are in gloucester quite often, as DH's family live in gloucester. Our DS2 is 4yo and in reception. Thank you for the information on the next meeting - hopefully I'll be able to go!

i lived in cleeve until i was 10. now in gloucester. really hope you can make it. would be lovely to meet you.
my ds is 3.3. attends pre school for 10 hours a week instead of 15 because its all they'll allow him too he still hasn't been granted inclusion funding which i'm livid about.
how is your ds finding school? are they supportive? does he have a statement or any 1:1?

ds's school is actually very supportive. No statement yet, but that's the goal, supported fully by the SENco. He's got 1:1 basically all day - from the time he gets there until he goes home in the afternoon. It was pretty touch and go until they got the 1:1 in there. They started with funding for lunch (including recess) and afternoon, then realised he would need it for morning as well. There were some hiccups as they were having some issues securing funding (which they're still working on), but the SENco and the headteacher assured us that they will find the funding somewhere and have already got someone in the classroom for him now. There are some occasional issues that pop up, but thankfully they've been good about sorting through them quickly (the headteacher is amazingly thorough!).

I am so sorry you're having to deal with your preschool making things difficult for you. I cannot believe that they are limiting his hours!! DS is a major handful and he went to preschool for the full 15 hours and not once did they EVER say (or even imply) that it was a problem. And believe me, DS is a runner and quite a handful sometimes! I would be livid at the way they are handling you ds's hours as well!

Dear tiredmummyneedswineandsleep, we found UK YAP on Lovaas Institute?s website; www.lovaas.com/contact.php, if you scroll down to the bottom of the page you?ll find them under ?NIMH Replication Sites?, second last entry. Their web address is www.ukyap.org/. We?ve just started & are exploring options, and setting-up appointments.

triggles- am glad the school are generally good and providing 1:1. i'm so fed up of ds not being given 1:1. have been told it's not a good county for funding.
my ds is a runner too and an escape artist. they've had to put bolts on doors because of him!
i'm so angry over it all, was in floods of tears over it all again last night and couldn't sleep.
humankhan. have heard of aba but i couldn't afford it and also live in a tiny, cluttered house so don't think i have the right set up as distractions everywhere.

tiredmummy - is that meeting on the 14th of December or the 7th? If second and is the 14th, it's the same time as DS2's nativity programme. But if the 7th, I'll be there.

hi its the 14th. ah sods law hey! bet nativity will be lovely.
maybe see you at the jan one?

definitely