How do you keep on going?

[Claw3]

Feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders today.

Step-dad was rushed to hospital and its not looking good.

Ds1 had an interview today for a college for A levels and didnt get a place, so frantically trying to find another college.

Dss came knocking on the door last night with a suitcase as his mum has punched him and thrown him out.

Ds3 ASD has a massive sore on his chest where he has been scratching himself in school today.

The dog has started to have violent fits and i have to take him to vet on Monday.

Dp is off of work with depression.

Im finding it hard to just keep going, i feel like crying.

How do you pull yourself together at times like these?

Sorry, having a self pitying moment.

Will have a bath and an early night, everything will seem brighter by tomorrow.

Simple truth is you can't, not in the long term , you cannot be everything to everybody & not buckle yourself.
You need support for yourself in both emotional and practical terms.

Accept people offers of help, farm out any chores you can get rid of.
Anyone in your household that is able to stand upright can do something to help, no matter how small.

What can DSS do to help, Howe old is he? Can he iron, cook the tea? If not teach him.
Can DP take the dog to the vets?

Remember if you don't do a bit of self preservation now you won't be fit to look after anyone else.

I know I sound like i'm nagging but I didn't take my own advice and ended up cracking.

Oh and Wine - a very large glass!

Claw what a rotten hand.

Please don't try to be heroic and do everything, get other people to take on some of it even if it's just putting the washing machine on and taking the dog to the vet.

And try and have something nice for yourself, glass of wine, bath with the door shut or whatever.

Will be thinking of you.

Sounds like a very stressful week.

Claw, had just been thinking had not seen you on here for a while and wondering how you were. Sorry to hear it is all awful.
I practise sort of 'floating' through the day, and then allow myself a (large) glass of wine at night. It is not always very successful
Also I have discovered that it helps to stop and actually have that cry - sometimes the effort of trying not to can be the hardest bit.

Thanks guys, just having a cup of tea now. Other people have it a lot worse, dont they. Just all seems to have happened at once and i was feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I have managed to find ds1 another A level course at a different college, just need to see if they will accept applications this late, will phone first thing in the morning. He was really upset earlier.

In fact my mum is really upset, dss was really upset, everyone is really upset and i think its rubbing off on me. I try my hardest to avoid upset usually!

I will show ds's teacher the massive sore of his chest and speak to SENCO. All his 1:1 help has stopped this term and he is feeling it.

Dog can wait until Monday.

Dss is happier now he is here and knows he can stay.

DP isnt much help at the moment, but he is big enough to look after himself.

Sorted

LOL Star, that is the first thing i did, i knew you would say that!

Yep pending SA. He also has 2 teachers this term, who job share and its much more slacking than year 1.

He now has an IEP, which is pretty good as far as IEP's go.

But we had incidents of ds claiming that he has not being able to see to read for a whole day. No reading books this term because ds has 'forgotten'. No lunch being eaten. The scratching. Incident today in school, i was told that ds was violent to a girl (this is not like ds) he was Chinese burning her arm (ds says because she was hitting him) Girl told a teacher, he got told off run away and hid, couldnt find him. Then kicked some equipment and broke it when the found him. Ds is never aggressive, but perhaps this is what it takes for them to realise he is not coping.

Claw

oh, Claw, i am sorry you are having a tough time.

that really is a lot of stuff to be going on with.

is dss going to be of help now he is in and happier? because it sounds as though you could do with a hand.

If you need anything, really, honestly, i mean this, please ask.

You know I come over your way anyway, and from next week I have a nanny starting, so will need to give her a couple of days with dd2, and then I am free free free!

So please ask - anything at all, from dog-sitting/taking to vet, to fetching and carrying, or just making a coofee.

I can bring cake.

Just put 2 photos onto my profile (which i will remove again) do you think i should give the LA copies now?

one of his eye, where he rubbed it so much it closed up.

other of his latest sores.

I think these are quite bad?

It sounds daft but at times like this I just keep saying to myself one foot in front of another....

IMH experience things always seem to happen at the same time, I have LOTS of digital photos to mind myself in the bad times that reprieves are just around the corner, one foot in front of the other to get there....

Star, i cant work out how to make it public! they are not as horrific as the previous ones i promise, but significant i think.

So paranoid about other school saying i am over anxious, im still a bit unsure of myself at times.

How do i go about an emergency statement? i do have a lot on, but ds has to come first (as well as college for ds1 which i should be able to sort by tomorrow)

Its public now! not sure how i did it.

Ds will be punished tomorrow for hurting the girl and breaking equipment. I had to pick him up early to go to CAMHS appointment today. He will be missing his playtime.

Claw, I would speak to Parent Partnership. I think it is pretty unethical to withdraw support because he is being given a SA - it is like he is being punished because the LA have agreed to assess him.

In fact, I would write a letter, attach the photos, and say that you consider the withdrawl of his support to be a risk to his Health and Safety - start a paper trail.

Luckily OT witnessed ds's swollen eye, he was also scratching and generally looking very uncomfortable when she did a home visit. He didnt want to do what she planned and he asked her to leave.

She asked whether i would consider anxiety medication.

Oh, Claw, they looks sore DD used to get sores on her legs from picking.

I'm afraid I have no experience of statements, but just wanted to offer my support and let you know I am thinking of you.x

Lougle, good idea. I could email her the pictures too. She is best pals with ds's case officer.

This is a new school that ds started at, he was started on full time 1:1 for the few weeks before the summer hols.

They did this as he didnt have an IEP in place. He now has an IEP.

Sibling, i have quite a collection of them now unfortunately. Its horrible isnt it, when they injury themselves.

Thank you much appreciated.