prolific school refuser

[devientenigma]

My son has school refused for the last few year. With me often getting him there by dinnertime. He's a nightmare when he gets home obviously taking whats left of the day out on us. He also refuses to go to bed and often wakes through the night crying and saying no school. He refuses to dress, which also is a seperate issue.
Anyway, just wondering how, who and what will help??

How could they not give him his ear defenders?!
Fire alarms are always going to be a total nightmare for a person with sensory issues. It took dd days to recover from the last fire drill at her school.

They really don't have a clue, do they?

I'm glad he's relaxed this morning -having fun with Handy Manny. Is it me, or does HM have quite a nice voice?

I'm glad the weekend's coming, it will give you and your ds a welcome breather.I peeked at your profile btw -your ds is so adorable.

Sorry, I jumped in at the beginning and disappeared ... I hardly know what to say/do about this any more. From reactions here I thought we were the only ones with this issue, all the professionals tell me they ahve never come across it before - now I know we are not.

DS did half day on Monday and hasn't been in school since. Has just agreed to go this afternoon (when there is no formal class work).

All he can say is he is scared, what of varies from day to day but is usually something abstract and entirely unlikely to happen (e.g. zombies attacking).

Lots of good ideas here and they all make sense. We have statement still being finalised and although school has put various things in place I don't think it gives him what he needs, still too many people, never feeling he is doing enough work etc. But that is not a criticism of them becasue in fact I don't think anyone has tried to fully work out what he needs.

CAF was good but waiting for dx to be confirmed and there was a feeling no one quite knew what to suggest. SS has been suggested by SEN officer and we are starting to look. MS emphasis seems so much to be on keeping him with everyone else, but I really think that is what he finds so hard.

Very confused and upset really as this has gone on for so long ...

Hi SR, it was obviously a planned alarm, as last year they had an incident where the alarms went and they had to sit out in the snow waiting for the fire brigade. I was called in to calm him down.
He will be relaxed until I try and get him into school. It's fine looking at the pic, seems like there is only 1, thought I had a few on. However if your facebook, there's more there.
I know while school work against us and not with us we will always have these issues, I was just trying to make it more comfortable for him and to make life easier at home, especially tea time onwards!!
Thankyou for thinking of us.
Take care x

Day 9 of the new school year and he's still at home....again!!!
All profs think this is our problem?

Hi Devientenigma, there seem to be a lot of school refusal threads today!

What are the school doing, what help are they giving?

Hi claw lol, no help etc. It's been going on for years with help in the past from behaviour team, OT etc. However I have just called schools bluff and phoned the education welfare officer!!!

Devientenigma, good move! Our attendance officer was great and encouraged the school to communicate and follow recommendations made by outside agencies.

The school reported me to the attendance officer and came totally unstuck. He wanted to know what the school were doing to make my ds attending possible.

Funnily enough and as if fate stepped in, the EWO had a meeting at my sons special school this pm. I have highlighted a few issues to her regarding the problems we are and have been having with school over the years.
She was going to see if his name comes up at the meeting, wish I had been a fly on the wall !!
She was curious to know why school had been so lax and also told me of a specialist in the LA who could help, if i can get an appointment with him.
She also told me that I was doing all I can and it was just unfortunate the profs involved haven't been able to support him or wanted to!!

Devientenigma, thats good news and sounds like a positive step forward. Have you considered applying for a statement (i sound like a broken record) but seems like the only way to get children the help they need and deserve.

Hi Claw, he's been statemented for the last 8 year, sounds silly though I am just starting to get my head around how this stuff works. The statement doesn't reflect him or his needs, and the bits that do are not recieving the support or help they need. He has a statement review in November!!

Not silly at all, i didnt have a clue, my ds was put on the sn register when he was at nursery and i knew nothing about him being on there until he went to school. A year ago, i didnt even know what an IEP was. I had no idea how it all worked.

Luckily i have had the help from everyone on MN and im now starting to understand and full steam ahead

Can you ask for a emergency review seen as he is refusing school?

I haven't as such called a meeting, however I have been emailing dailing the SW, class teacher, deputy head, headteacher and head of education, the situation. I feel it's because his special needs are challenging and complex it's no skin off there nose as to wether he is there or not.
Plus I have a meeting with his clinical psyc on Thursday am. The mediation starts Oct 4th. The socail services meeting is Oct 7th, so a lot to prepare for. Though I did think if I called the meeting instead of a prof would they be more willing to listen to what parents have to say??!!

You have your hands full! Have you tried PP, i found them very useful for making sure you are heard? (im sure you have, sounds like you tried everything!)

oh devient I can only say I am starting to understand how you feel and my heart goes out to you...wish I had answers for you but if I did would sort ds out too:(
It is all pointing to Home ed on these threads...which for me as single mum and no life/breaks my worst nightmare as been doing home ed since ds was 2yrs and not getting ds into school anytime soon:(

Dev I have read about internet schools...could you look into this and get LEA to fund it if suited ds...otherwise sending you a virtual [chocolate bar and coffee] to have a break:)

Devientenigma and want2sleep, there is hope. Ds was a school refuser and he now attends full time.

(although he has now started to injury himself again, so not entirely rosy)

I changed schools and they are really trying to help with the things he finds difficult and its still early days and a lot of damage caused by previous school to repair.

Hi Claw, it's PP who have helped instigate the mediation. The problem with changing his school is it's the only school for sld in the borough!!
Cheers for the chocolate want2sleep x

Devient, i had a feeling you would say its something you have already tried

Good luck

lol, day 11 in the ds house and nothing has changed, he's still not at school!!!

Though he has been very aggressive!!
Smashing things up, hitting and kicking his us more than normal, growling at us etc
Though when the bloke from Stannah came to service his stairlift, he changed. The poor bloke even sat down with him to watch a dvd!!